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  • this gonna be one of those threads where I come off as a horrible person sighs

    Two of my grandparents have birthdays this upcoming week. They are both up there in age and dealing with illness. I was planning to go and visit them on my off days but my depression has been working overtime these past few days to the point where I don鈥檛 want to anymore. I don鈥檛 even want to call tbh but I know I will end up doing so

    I feel very guilty over this. I always have anxiety about them dying unexpectedly and I feel lots of guilt over the fact that I鈥檓 not at a place in life where I can help them out, support and see them frequently. They both live on the opposite sides of town from me and my car is in bad condition. And in general, I never have anything positive to tell either of them about my life or at least, not anything they鈥檇 be interested in hearing about. My interactions with them frequently leave me feeling more depressed but I鈥檓 not the one who鈥檚 old and getting up there so that s*** makes me feel like I鈥檓 being hella selfish.

    While I had my grandparents in mind specifically when making this thread, this is really how I feel about my entire family. Can anyone relate to this? Or am I just an awful person?

  • Aug 5
    2 replies
    Warren Peace

    this gonna be one of those threads where I come off as a horrible person sighs

    Two of my grandparents have birthdays this upcoming week. They are both up there in age and dealing with illness. I was planning to go and visit them on my off days but my depression has been working overtime these past few days to the point where I don鈥檛 want to anymore. I don鈥檛 even want to call tbh but I know I will end up doing so

    I feel very guilty over this. I always have anxiety about them dying unexpectedly and I feel lots of guilt over the fact that I鈥檓 not at a place in life where I can help them out, support and see them frequently. They both live on the opposite sides of town from me and my car is in bad condition. And in general, I never have anything positive to tell either of them about my life or at least, not anything they鈥檇 be interested in hearing about. My interactions with them frequently leave me feeling more depressed but I鈥檓 not the one who鈥檚 old and getting up there so that s*** makes me feel like I鈥檓 being hella selfish.

    While I had my grandparents in mind specifically when making this thread, this is really how I feel about my entire family. Can anyone relate to this? Or am I just an awful person?

    "And in general, I never have anything positive to tell either of them about my life or at least, not anything they鈥檇 be interested in hearing about."

    Don't be rude with you.

  • S3R14L

    "And in general, I never have anything positive to tell either of them about my life or at least, not anything they鈥檇 be interested in hearing about."

    Don't be rude with you.

    驴Qu猫?

  • Aug 5
    1 reply
    Warren Peace

    this gonna be one of those threads where I come off as a horrible person sighs

    Two of my grandparents have birthdays this upcoming week. They are both up there in age and dealing with illness. I was planning to go and visit them on my off days but my depression has been working overtime these past few days to the point where I don鈥檛 want to anymore. I don鈥檛 even want to call tbh but I know I will end up doing so

    I feel very guilty over this. I always have anxiety about them dying unexpectedly and I feel lots of guilt over the fact that I鈥檓 not at a place in life where I can help them out, support and see them frequently. They both live on the opposite sides of town from me and my car is in bad condition. And in general, I never have anything positive to tell either of them about my life or at least, not anything they鈥檇 be interested in hearing about. My interactions with them frequently leave me feeling more depressed but I鈥檓 not the one who鈥檚 old and getting up there so that s*** makes me feel like I鈥檓 being hella selfish.

    While I had my grandparents in mind specifically when making this thread, this is really how I feel about my entire family. Can anyone relate to this? Or am I just an awful person?

    cant u just go visit them real quick? like a ten minute visit each? if u rly have anxiety over your grandparents dying suddenly and mixing that with being too depressed to visit/call them, well that鈥檚 a recipe for emotional disaster my friend and you should head that off at the pass

  • If the question is should I go see my grandparents the answer is usually yes 馃槍

  • Aug 5
    1 reply

    Youre not being selfish but the mindset is self-absorbed which comes from depression but also serves it so just makes things worse. Think outside yourself. Older people really cherish company of others so just think about how you can brighten their day and try not to focus on your life in that moment.

    If life aint s***, its s***ty things aint s*** either

  • Just remember one day you won't get to make the choice to go visit them or not fam

  • Take it while you can

  • lake placid

    cant u just go visit them real quick? like a ten minute visit each? if u rly have anxiety over your grandparents dying suddenly and mixing that with being too depressed to visit/call them, well that鈥檚 a recipe for emotional disaster my friend and you should head that off at the pass

    I could never keep it limited to 10 mins, that comes off as rude

    yes I can still go visit them but the problem is the feeling won鈥檛 go away. I hate being this uncomfortable around people I love

  • Aug 5
    3 replies
    WASHINGTON

    Youre not being selfish but the mindset is self-absorbed which comes from depression but also serves it so just makes things worse. Think outside yourself. Older people really cherish company of others so just think about how you can brighten their day and try not to focus on your life in that moment.

    If life aint s***, its s***ty things aint s*** either

    I just don鈥檛 get why my presence brightens their day. I have nothing positive going on and no good news to share. but you鈥檙e right and those thoughts could just be my depression talking

  • Aug 5
    1 reply

    I find putting their cocks in my mouth usually works quite well. Best of luck, OP

  • Aug 5
    1 reply
    Warren Peace

    I just don鈥檛 get why my presence brightens their day. I have nothing positive going on and no good news to share. but you鈥檙e right and those thoughts could just be my depression talking

    You're going into this interaction with the preconceived notion that you're wasting your time, but I promise you they cherish all the time they have because they can see the end of the tunnel for them (well, metaphorically speaking). I feel your agony, but just think of the pleasure you'll bring them by just being there for THEM. Look outside yourself just for a sec. And find out what they like, lean into that. You have no idea how that'll brighten their day.

  • Tell them everything

  • CRACKASTEPPAVEGAN

    You're going into this interaction with the preconceived notion that you're wasting your time, but I promise you they cherish all the time they have because they can see the end of the tunnel for them (well, metaphorically speaking). I feel your agony, but just think of the pleasure you'll bring them by just being there for THEM. Look outside yourself just for a sec. And find out what they like, lean into that. You have no idea how that'll brighten their day.

    I鈥檓 gonna try to keep this perspective in mind, thank you 馃檹馃徑

  • i was pretty much in the same position, my gma died tho fml

  • Just go to see them, they'll appreciate the fact that you made the effort to go over more than the actual conversation. Think about it, when they tell people about it they say things like "Warren peace came over to visit" not "Warren peace came over and we discussed the situation in Ukraine"

    Old people LOVE talking and just being shown a lil bit of attention. Old strangers strike up conversations with me all the time. My grandma just rambles on sometimes, she'll still be talking after everyone else has already left the room You don't need to be an engaging and interesting conversationalist with old people

  • Aug 5
    1 reply

    the only advice i can give is don鈥檛 be hard on yourself

    kinda in a similar situation where i鈥檓 back home and my grandmother and little brother are staying at home most days

    feel bad because i feel like i should be giving them more of my attention and time but it鈥檚 hard

    i got mad obvious self harm scars (some of them are pretty deep) so it鈥檚 draining talking to family sometimes just off the strength of the guilt i鈥檓 feeling

    i been taking it day by day and just try to be present with them as much as i can

    some days i鈥檓 not the ideal or best grandson/older brother

    but they love me regardless and knowing that family loves you no matter what, is key

    if u can afford the little bit of energy you have inside you to go tho鈥 do it! no worries stressing yourself out if u can鈥檛

  • Aug 5
    1 reply
    Warren Peace

    I just don鈥檛 get why my presence brightens their day. I have nothing positive going on and no good news to share. but you鈥檙e right and those thoughts could just be my depression talking

    it brightens their day cause they love you kid

    that鈥檚 it

  • Aug 5
    1 reply
    SmallNarstie

    I find putting their cocks in my mouth usually works quite well. Best of luck, OP

    You should keep one in your hand as well, so you can't reply with such useless, unfunny garbage. Work on yourself.

  • Scratchin Mamba 鈿掞笍
    Aug 5
    1 reply

    Are they open minded about mental health? If you would talk to them about it would they be understanding?

  • Literally just showing up is usually enough for them. On top of that, maybe tell them what they wanna hear or make the convo about them

  • Don鈥檛

  • plants 馃尰
    Aug 5

    My grandparents was dead before I was even born, be grateful you ever even met them and can continue to do so.

  • plants 馃尰
    Aug 5
    1 reply

    op posts itt make me so f***ing mad. f*** you buddy i hope you feel better soon

  • Aug 5
    1 reply

    OP keep in mind that your company is valued to them and regardless of your mental state, dont think of this time as an anxious moment of things that can go wrong but a window of opportunity to share some moments