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  • vladimirx boofin

    the only advice i can give is don’t be hard on yourself

    kinda in a similar situation where i’m back home and my grandmother and little brother are staying at home most days

    feel bad because i feel like i should be giving them more of my attention and time but it’s hard

    i got mad obvious self harm scars (some of them are pretty deep) so it’s draining talking to family sometimes just off the strength of the guilt i’m feeling

    i been taking it day by day and just try to be present with them as much as i can

    some days i’m not the ideal or best grandson/older brother

    but they love me regardless and knowing that family loves you no matter what, is key

    if u can afford the little bit of energy you have inside you to go tho… do it! no worries stressing yourself out if u can’t

    this was really helpful

    I realized I have a lot of self-shame stored up over numerous things. like I’m really disappointed in myself bc of where I am in life rn and I’ve projected that onto them. And I haven’t been myself in a long time so idk how to act around my family in general as a result

    It just really bothers me that they are nearing the end of their lives but I’m still stuck and can’t really make them proud. But I’m gonna hold off on giving the situation any more thought for the next few days bc the more I think about it, the worse my decision-making will end up being. I’ll just focus on the present like you said

    What made you feel the need to harm yourself, if you don’t mind me asking? If you do, I understand

    Either way thanks man. I hope things continue to improve for you

  • Aug 5
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    1 reply
    Faith

    it brightens their day cause they love you kid

    that’s it

    you’re probably right

    I need to get out my head

  • Aug 5
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    2 replies
    Scratchin Mamba

    Are they open minded about mental health? If you would talk to them about it would they be understanding?

    I couldn’t do that bro. I wouldn’t dare

    with the stuff that they’re going through, complaining about my s*** would be so inappropriate

  • Aug 5
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    1 reply
    plants

    op posts itt make me so f***ing mad. f*** you buddy i hope you feel better soon

    huh?

    but thanks I guess

  • BG

    OP keep in mind that your company is valued to them and regardless of your mental state, dont think of this time as an anxious moment of things that can go wrong but a window of opportunity to share some moments

    I will keep this in mind, thanks man

  • You Don't :)

  • plants 🌻
    Aug 5
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    3 replies
    Warren Peace

    huh?

    but thanks I guess

    like i said earlier some ppl never even got to see their grandparents and you're out here throwing pity parties to avoid em. nah

  • Warren Peace

    you’re probably right

    I need to get out my head

    Yes. Go see them

  • Warren Peace

    I couldn’t do that bro. I wouldn’t dare

    with the stuff that they’re going through, complaining about my s*** would be so inappropriate

    Yeah nah just go and show them some love. You'll do good man don't even stress about it. These old folks don't take much to please. Your presence and attention is enough.

  • Aug 5
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    1 reply
    plants

    like i said earlier some ppl never even got to see their grandparents and you're out here throwing pity parties to avoid em. nah

    nigga f*** you

    take your holier-than-thou ass on. You don’t know me or what I got going on. Like you said, you never knew your grandparents so you don’t know the pain of losing one and watching the others get sick knowing you can’t do anything about it while still being weighed down with other real-life s*** that’s also out of your control

    so many people had constructive advice to give but you commented this stupid s***. you coulda stayed your dumbass out of my thread. hate mfs like you, on the outside looking in but got so much to say

  • Aug 5
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    1 reply
    Warren Peace

    I couldn’t do that bro. I wouldn’t dare

    with the stuff that they’re going through, complaining about my s*** would be so inappropriate

    I didn't read everything itt so i didn't know they were going thru smth, so if that's the case this doesn't apply but often people are more willing to help than you would think, but you have a better idea about that ofc. And not wanting to stress them out is completely valid as well

    I promise just showing up for them will make them happy enough already. Don't be too hard on yourself, i know that's easier said than done when you have depression, but you're probably interpreting and anticipating things more negatively than it really is. You don't have to perform, it's not a job interview or even meeting up with friends, at the end of the day they're your family and they love you for you

  • Aug 5
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    2 replies
    plants

    like i said earlier some ppl never even got to see their grandparents and you're out here throwing pity parties to avoid em. nah

    I'm one of those people who only got to see one of my grandmothers twice in my life, no need to s*** him like this bro

  • Honestly just be present, sit down watch a movie with them. Being present alone is enough to show them you’re trying at least.

  • Scratchin Mamba

    I didn't read everything itt so i didn't know they were going thru smth, so if that's the case this doesn't apply but often people are more willing to help than you would think, but you have a better idea about that ofc. And not wanting to stress them out is completely valid as well

    I promise just showing up for them will make them happy enough already. Don't be too hard on yourself, i know that's easier said than done when you have depression, but you're probably interpreting and anticipating things more negatively than it really is. You don't have to perform, it's not a job interview or even meeting up with friends, at the end of the day they're your family and they love you for you

    I do talk to my grandma on the phone often and she knows about some of the things I’ve been going through this year. she’s very supportive but yeah I try to keep it to a limit bc of what she has going on. I just don’t see her as often as I’d like to but yeah I’m def gonna make it a point to stop by

    with my grandfather, it’s different tho bc we’ve never been as close so talking to him about my life is way more difficult and it feels more like I have to keep up a front. but you guys are right, his happiness at seeing me will likely outweigh any imagined disappointment

  • plants

    like i said earlier some ppl never even got to see their grandparents and you're out here throwing pity parties to avoid em. nah

    Not the tone for this thread. This wasn't necessary b

  • Scratchin Mamba

    I'm one of those people who only got to see one of my grandmothers twice in my life, no need to s*** him like this bro

    fr @plants is a straight b**** who likes to come on here and hide behind a fake ass free spirit persona

  • Aug 5
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    1 reply

    much love to the people itt who shared experiences and words of wisdom

    I don’t have anyone irl that I can discuss this situation with in full honesty so I’m def appreciating all the feedback yall gave. It’s making me realize that my head and feelings of shame is making this more complicated than it has to be. I feel a lot better than I did when i first made this thread so thanks fr to all y’all

  • Warren Peace

    much love to the people itt who shared experiences and words of wisdom

    I don’t have anyone irl that I can discuss this situation with in full honesty so I’m def appreciating all the feedback yall gave. It’s making me realize that my head and feelings of shame is making this more complicated than it has to be. I feel a lot better than I did when i first made this thread so thanks fr to all y’all

    You're not alone. Much love b, and all the best with whatever you decide on

  • plants 🌻
    Aug 5
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    1 reply
    Scratchin Mamba

    I'm one of those people who only got to see one of my grandmothers twice in my life, no need to s*** him like this bro

    maybe he'll hate a user named Plants for the rest of his life, so what. dude can curse me out all he like as long as he on his way to see his family and spend time with his closest loved ones

  • Sit in silence

  • Aug 5
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    1 reply
    Warren Peace

    I just don’t get why my presence brightens their day. I have nothing positive going on and no good news to share. but you’re right and those thoughts could just be my depression talking

    You're their grandson!

  • If you’re African, u dont

  • Aug 5
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    1 reply
    Warren Peace

    nigga f*** you

    take your holier-than-thou ass on. You don’t know me or what I got going on. Like you said, you never knew your grandparents so you don’t know the pain of losing one and watching the others get sick knowing you can’t do anything about it while still being weighed down with other real-life s*** that’s also out of your control

    so many people had constructive advice to give but you commented this stupid s***. you coulda stayed your dumbass out of my thread. hate mfs like you, on the outside looking in but got so much to say

    goddamn

  • Aug 5
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    edited
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    1 reply
    plants

    maybe he'll hate a user named Plants for the rest of his life, so what. dude can curse me out all he like as long as he on his way to see his family and spend time with his closest loved ones

    lmao @ you trying to act like your post did anything to change my perspective when there were 10 other posters who actually had valuable things to say

    nah you tried to call me out on some ignorant passive-aggressive s*** so I called you out in return. you’re so devoted to that wannabe above-it-all gimmick that you can’t acknowledge you were wrong even when multiple people point it out. corny

    but it’s cool, to the block/ignore list you go

  • Yuzzy

    You're their grandson!

    yeah you’re right. I just don’t think they like me like that sometimes. but I’m blocking out that negative thinking 💯