Reply
  • So me and my ex just broke up on Monday after 2 years; we broke up in august but ended up getting back together like a week later. Although because of external weirdness and situations we haven't had a "normal"

    She said she's out of love tbh I don't blame her I don't have a ton to offer right now in terms of stability but like we both live with our parents and neither of us has this stability she speaks of

    All the reasons she gave were fixable:

    • She says we get lazy together (which is fair)
    • We don't like the same things (but we have good chemistry)
    • We don't do formal dates
    • We don't have a "tv show we watch together"
    • I don't give her enough gifts? (but I do)
    • She says I'm too serious and quiet but that's how I am, though she feels she has to hid parts of her but I also don't make her or tell her to stop or calm down
    • She says it's like we're an old married couple because sometimes we can annoy one another but we never fight
    • She teases me and she says I don't stick up for myself but if I tell her she's wrong she get's whiny

    Like I genuinely care and love her. She hit me with the "I love you but I'm not in love with you." it's just like I feel like we're out of the honeymoon phase so it make sense the love feels diffrent, but this is both our first relationship. The s** is good and it's still there too. She told me I'm her best friend stuff when we broke up. She even acknowledged some of this when we broke up

    I think she did this because of her stress right now but also our general communication just feel though these past few months because we all kinda have a lot going on, but we always had a lot going on. I'm not gonna beg for her back, because I respect her choice but I also can't help but feel like like this is being thrown away but also she can be kinda childish and immature at times. It's very much in her mindset to give up then keep going. I feel like like she wants a "twitter" relationship on some TV s*** where I just spend money on her we go out all the time and I give her grand sweeping gesture after grand sweeping gesture. Like perfect example she was like "you didn't ask me to be your valentine" I didn't know I had to ask since we were dating for 2 years. Like she wants a ton of gifts and flowers but when did she do that for me? Like we haven't set a standard of that.

    We're supposed to talk again on Monday, and I want to get her gifts just to show I care and also she's "technically" my valentine. I got her back by like spending just a f*** ton on her there and there and I don't want her to think I'm buying her back but also I want her to know. I'm not gonna do as big as last time but I think it's important.

    Also do I tell her Happy Valentines day since she technically is or give her space?

  • Idk man it sounds like y’all just aren’t open around each other. Gifts and tv shows aren’t gonna fix that

  • Smoofer

    Idk man it sounds like y’all just aren’t open around each other. Gifts and tv shows aren’t gonna fix that

    That's the thing we are, we talk a ton, I will say we text a bit too much so the conversations can become dry but in person it can flow pretty well

    I think it's communication that needs fixing but also like that's something we can very much work on.

    She said that when we first met that she kinda got off on fixing me, it was the deepest point of my depression and she helped that a lot. We said that we would try and work and build her up this year which we have been trying but idk she can be kinda spoiled and inverse to criticism; but this is all stuff that is fixable

  • Idk man it seems like space is the best thing. Sounds like boredom from each other. Give her space, don’t hover. I think if you give her a chance to miss you, things will get better

  • definitely don't reach out to her, especially on a holiday. you're just looking for an excuse cause you want to talk to her. wait til when you guys decided on

  • derekdod

    definitely don't reach out to her, especially on a holiday. you're just looking for an excuse cause you want to talk to her. wait til when you guys decided on

    See she says I'm not "romantic enough" so I wanna show her, but yea I agree it's aggressive

  • disneyfrozen

    See she says I'm not "romantic enough" so I wanna show her, but yea I agree it's aggressive

    the more you try the more you push away

    • in break up situations *

    you need to let her miss you

  • disneyfrozen

    So me and my ex just broke up on Monday after 2 years; we broke up in august but ended up getting back together like a week later. Although because of external weirdness and situations we haven't had a "normal"

    She said she's out of love tbh I don't blame her I don't have a ton to offer right now in terms of stability but like we both live with our parents and neither of us has this stability she speaks of

    All the reasons she gave were fixable:

    She says we get lazy together (which is fair)

    We don't like the same things (but we have good chemistry)

    We don't do formal dates

    We don't have a "tv show we watch together"

    I don't give her enough gifts? (but I do)

    She says I'm too serious and quiet but that's how I am, though she feels she has to hid parts of her but I also don't make her or tell her to stop or calm down

    She says it's like we're an old married couple because sometimes we can annoy one another but we never fight

    She teases me and she says I don't stick up for myself but if I tell her she's wrong she get's whiny

    Like I genuinely care and love her. She hit me with the "I love you but I'm not in love with you." it's just like I feel like we're out of the honeymoon phase so it make sense the love feels diffrent, but this is both our first relationship. The s** is good and it's still there too. She told me I'm her best friend stuff when we broke up. She even acknowledged some of this when we broke up

    I think she did this because of her stress right now but also our general communication just feel though these past few months because we all kinda have a lot going on, but we always had a lot going on. I'm not gonna beg for her back, because I respect her choice but I also can't help but feel like like this is being thrown away but also she can be kinda childish and immature at times. It's very much in her mindset to give up then keep going. I feel like like she wants a "twitter" relationship on some TV s*** where I just spend money on her we go out all the time and I give her grand sweeping gesture after grand sweeping gesture. Like perfect example she was like "you didn't ask me to be your valentine" I didn't know I had to ask since we were dating for 2 years. Like she wants a ton of gifts and flowers but when did she do that for me? Like we haven't set a standard of that.

    We're supposed to talk again on Monday, and I want to get her gifts just to show I care and also she's "technically" my valentine. I got her back by like spending just a f*** ton on her there and there and I don't want her to think I'm buying her back but also I want her to know. I'm not gonna do as big as last time but I think it's important.

    Also do I tell her Happy Valentines day since she technically is or give her space?

    I bet $1000 she watched YouTube couples

    Am I right?

  • quadra

    I bet $1000 she watched YouTube couples

    Am I right?

    Not even a bit, we hate watch them sometimes but it's more like Cody Ko and people mocking those couples. She watches Grey Anatomy and Love Island

  • She doesnt really know what she wants. All her reasons for breaking up sound flimsy and weak because she tryna put her feelings into words, and that never really works out(girls do this a lot)

    But the truth is u should just move on. On and off relationships are by far the worst thing, ya can get back together but will still hold some discontent for one another, unless ur issues are truly resolve. But to even resolve those issues ya need to know what the issues are in the first place, and it seems like she doesnt know what the issues are.

    I say u should cut it because u might win her back with gesture, get her thinking about how ya used to be and ya will be good for a while... but that only lasts for a while, eventually its gonna get sour again unless ya solve ya issues, dont get me wrong u can solve them and be all good. But this usually happens with first relationships.

    But at the end of the day u know ur situation the best

  • Oblivion99

    She doesnt really know what she wants. All her reasons for breaking up sound flimsy and weak because she tryna put her feelings into words, and that never really works out(girls do this a lot)

    But the truth is u should just move on. On and off relationships are by far the worst thing, ya can get back together but will still hold some discontent for one another, unless ur issues are truly resolve. But to even resolve those issues ya need to know what the issues are in the first place, and it seems like she doesnt know what the issues are.

    I say u should cut it because u might win her back with gesture, get her thinking about how ya used to be and ya will be good for a while... but that only lasts for a while, eventually its gonna get sour again unless ya solve ya issues, dont get me wrong u can solve them and be all good. But this usually happens with first relationships.

    But at the end of the day u know ur situation the best

    I mean I know what the issues are, she feels we don't do enough or have enough in common, but she doesn't like assert her interests enough, if that makes sense. She'll ask to watch something once and never try again. Like she knows I don't like Grey's but she hasn't tried to watch it with me again, and I'm 110% willing to watch it with her, hell we watched The Naked Director together.

    Idk I feel like she feels my personality dominates and or she hasn't had the chance to devlop hers on her own. Like I said we don't go out on dates formally but again like she doesn't bring it up or ask formally, so like I'm annoyed. It's really a lack of communication, and a fear for the long run because she knows I hate Texas but I realistically have a year and half here before I can safely have enough money and capital to get out, and it's not like I'm just gonna drop her?? So i think she feels again a lack of security, she's like maybe get a second job or go back to school but I don't want either and I make enough on my own and have a side income that is slowly getting bigger and bigger all the time, so it's not like I'm a wasteman, maybe on paper but I'm not?? Last year I was working 40-60 hours a week and yes I had money but I was miserable, and maybe she wants that security and future proofness in a man and I can't blame her, but also she doesn't have her whole life together either.

    Idk it's odd because I genuinely felt a future there

    She framed it like she was doing me a service but like at the end of the day you're never gonna find your 1:1 match. I know on and off again relationships don't work but I also feel like as dumb as this may sound relationships work out because you choose to stay together and ride out these waves, you only see people's highlight reels. I know a few on and off couples that ended up getting married. Although I can understand that 2 almost 3 years is a long time and I could see how she wouldn't like to look for something else, like I said this is both our first long term relationship so we're learning.

    Idk I now feel like there's kinda a ton of pressure on how our dinner on Monday goes and feels emotionally, like I'm worried this is gonna be a litmus test of some kind but I'm in my head right now, so I can't

  • disneyfrozen

    See she says I'm not "romantic enough" so I wanna show her, but yea I agree it's aggressive

    My n**** if you arent the romantic type then just fully embrace it

    Don’t ever switch up for anyone cause in
    the end you the only one that’s gonna be sleeping in that casket. Do what makes you happy

  • first of all OP im sorry for the breakup that s*** is hard.

    social media is cancer to relationships, it makes s*** seem like it should be better than it is all the time when some people realize they or their partner just don't connect like that. my ex had this idealized version of a relationship that we'd stick to but she would often use what's missing against me, despite the fact that I worked my d*** off to make her happy, give us a proper home and all that. s*** gets messy when influence is involved.

    I admit that you should definitely be cute but you shouldn't have to risk losing who you are to make someone else happy. you're supposed to make yourself and her happy by just being. just EXISTING together in close quarters because you all want to. not because you need some clout on social media.

    that being said, feel free to wish her a happy v-day, but i'm sure she's thinking about you. especially if you dated for a long time. I know my ex from almost a decade ago is thinking about me. i just saw in my instagram archive memory jawn an old post that I know is showing up for the two of us haha.

    stay strong, give her space and indulge in you, king.

  • Bonesv2

    My n**** if you arent the romantic type then just fully embrace it

    Don’t ever switch up for anyone cause in
    the end you the only one that’s gonna be sleeping in that casket. Do what makes you happy

    I mean I wouldn't say I'm not. I'm learning you know it's both of our first relationship, I'm not opposed to being romantic, I think it's important in a relationship to acknowledge each other's love languages

  • OP put some fewtch on and hit tinder

  • Sounds to me like the relationship has come to a nature close tbh.. Its normal to feel how you feel after a break up. I'd just embrace that it's over, move on, work on yourself

  • Op she said man up so u gotta be mad sensitive. Listen to some future and f*** another girl. Don’t text her unless she text u first cmon fam this is easy

  • If she’s older than 18 just drop her wat kind of bs reasons are those lmao

  • those reasons just sound like excuses because she couldn't come up with anything better.

    if you really want this girl, you gotta tell her you respect her choice and are willing to let her go. make her miss you, show her from a distance that you're leveling up, becoming who you want to be. show passion, happiness, mental and physical stability. chasing her wont bring her back to you especially if this is how she wants to end things. you gotta give her that fomo feeling. in the end you follow these steps, youll either have her back if you slowly reel her in or youll be onto better things and she'll be looking at you live your best life

  • Mike2210

    If she’s older than 18 just drop her wat kind of bs reasons are those lmao

    She 20 dude chill, we babies out here

  • ROLEX

    those reasons just sound like excuses because she couldn't come up with anything better.

    if you really want this girl, you gotta tell her you respect her choice and are willing to let her go. make her miss you, show her from a distance that you're leveling up, becoming who you want to be. show passion, happiness, mental and physical stability. chasing her wont bring her back to you especially if this is how she wants to end things. you gotta give her that fomo feeling. in the end you follow these steps, youll either have her back if you slowly reel her in or youll be onto better things and she'll be looking at you live your best life

    That's what I'm saying lol

    Girls say s*** like this cause they just tryna break up and dont know what else to say, didnt want to be one but it's likely she already has her eyes on someone else and she wants to cut ties with him, seen it happen in mad times lol

  • disneyfrozen

    I mean I wouldn't say I'm not. I'm learning you know it's both of our first relationship, I'm not opposed to being romantic, I think it's important in a relationship to acknowledge each other's love languages

    Sounds to me Ike you aren’t the romantic type and there isn’t anything wrong with that

    Fully embrace yourself

  • Just seems like your gf needs and seeks a lot of attention and affection and thinks you don't show it. It's not that you don't show it, but not necessarily in the way she wants you to. Ya know, sweet words, vanilla type s***.

    She'd be better off with me, PM me her socials if she cute OP.

    Anyway man, if those are truly the reasons that motivate her, s*** will be fixed. You show more, you give more and she'll quit her bs. If she's just curving you there really isn't anything to do and she's just giving you pseudo excuses.

    Give it a while and buy her some nice chocolate with a flower and give her a suave note. If she doesn't cave in, she's just bullshitting you.

  • First off dude once it’s over it’s over. There’s no going back so just forget about that, it’s time to start moving on.

    Second, from the reasons she’s listed it sounds like you’re boring to her tbh. You probably were too nice to her, too comfortable around her, and didn’t keep the relationship interesting. Comfort and boredom kill relationships fast, you need to keep her guessing and keep her on her toes if you want to make a relationship work.

    Sounds like you take everything at face value too. An important thing with women is to never take a single thing they say seriously. Judge them by their actions, not their words.

Write a reply...|