Ight this was a much needed vent. Needed to get this s*** out to someone other than me. You don’t gotta read the whole thing but I f*** with you if you do.

so I been changing a lot these last two years. Graduated, got a good ass job, making good money, traveling, been getting into photography heavy, been training, eating healthy, been trying to focus on my mental health, etc.

But idk it feels like there’s a catch. Like something bad has to happen to me. Like I don’t really trust my friends, family, coworkers. Not like they’re conspiring some s***, just don’t trust their motives and intentions. Feel like people try to use me. I try really hard to not let it effect my decision making, but I’m only human.

Idk i feel like logically, I’m bugging the f*** out no one wants to harm me. But, emotionally I feel like I’m waiting for people to start turning on me. And when that happens ima lose it all.

Why? With family it goes back to my parents. I’m way younger than siblings, and my parents marriage was rocky so I was the “baby” that they spoiled. But, my parents would always put me in the middle of their fights. “Billy if you had to live with me or your dad who’d you choose?” Yelling and fighting about divorce and moving in places in the house so I can hear it. S*** talking each other to me. Telling me not to trust the other. And a whole bunch a other s***. So I never knew if their affection was bc of love or they was just trying to get one on the other.

Friends. Niggas say s*** like let’s hangout. Niggas go ghost/bail last minute. I start posting travel s***, niggas come out the woodwork asking me how I make bread. Niggas say they wanna hangout. Niggas immediately start asking for me to put them on. Idk if niggas f*** with me, or want what I got. Certain friends are super solid, they my friends for life. They f***ed with me from when I was a kid. OTHER friends always seem to want what I got. Niggas might be on here so I’m not gonna get into details. But I got one friend who’s ALWAYS doing some s*** I do. AFTER I DO IT.

One of my mentors be getting drunk with me then feels on my d***. Idk if this nigga is h**** and/or likes me or on some weirdo power s***. Either way I don’t f*** with it.

Coworkers. I work in corporate America. Can’t trust corporate. That’s it really.

Am I bugging? Am I doing good? Should I just stay focused?

find God

"One of my mentors be getting drunk with me then feels on my d***."

@Tubig you better watch it.

Stay focused OP, don't bother with the fake friends. Don't trust corporate.

I ain’t reading allat I’m happy 4 u tho or sry that happened

I think you're in your head too much. Learn to just accept things and keep it pushing

Sound like u doin good. Stay in your lane and ignore the friends who only crawl out the woodwork, stay close with those solid friends you got. re: your family/childhood thats rough and you could entertain the idea of seein a professional about that. cuz it could be u got some paranoid tendencies, even if they tend to keep you safe from bein exploited. you still wanna be able to open up and express yourself with the right people at the right time u know.

that mentor sounds weird as hell i'd establish some clear boundaries there

@op just keep doing you bro I lost all my friends but I kept it pushing now I got a good ass job and been improving myself f*** everyone else just do you

I’m sorry bro but power play or not your it sounds like your mentor is lowkey sexually assaulting you. If you not f***in with it you gotta say something man

That mentor s*** is crazy OP. I’d say something if they ever try it again tbh

But I get you I’ve developed trust issues over my lifetime with some of the s*** I’ve done, but you seem to be on a good path. Stay focused and make sure you take care of yourself

Didn’t read everything but that part about the mentor is f***ed up

Yo I would’ve knocked that fool in the jaw if he touched my d*** unprompted

But all in seriousness it sounds like you are doing good. The friend stuff is weird for everybody tbh.

I feel as I’ve gotten older your circle gets smaller but I think that’s for the best. Less bullshit and fake ass people pretending to care about you or be friendly

Idk your situation fully so I’m painting with broad strokes here but….

You may also be accustomed to things not working out or being easy and smooth, and now that things are good you are anticipating some bad news to take it all away.

Be proud of your accomplishments and protect what’s important to you

Graduated, got a good ass job, making good money, traveling, been getting into photography heavy, been training, eating healthy, been trying to focus on my mental health

• School ✔️
• Good career and pay ✔️
• Getting outside ✔️
• Hobby ✔️
• Some form of exercise ✔️
• Good diet ✔️
• Keeping mind of mental health ✔️

You're overthinking. Stay focused. You're ahead of the curve of 98% of people out there. Leave those folks who are bad influences/getting in the way of your success in the dust.

Keep your good friends close, cut ties with those who you don't make a connection with anymore. Tell your family that you will not pick sides and that if they loved you, they would understand.

And by mentor do you mean in the workplace? If he does that s*** again, or if you feel like it, bring that s*** up discretely with HR. In writing, and in-person. That's textbook sexual harassment at best, sexual assault at worst.