You guys could have just looked it up but here it is. It’s not depression it’s a personality disorder.

It’s not shyness 😭. Basically it’s a disorder that makes you crave close relationships but at the same time have an extreme fear of becoming close to people. It also makes it so that if I start getting somewhat close to someone I immediately start feeling like they’re too good for me and just stop talking to them.

pls no bully.

Since ppl just wanna make jokes I’m gonna just vent. This disorder sucks. I go to sleep dreaming about having friends and being happy and social n s*** but in real life whenever I talk to people I always walk away feeling like they hate me or they’re too good for me. I’ve had so many chances where I could have had friends or f***ed women that were into me but whenever a social cue shows itself my mind just stops working and tells me to run away. It’s a vicious cycle. I’m unable to interact with people so I feel pathetic and embarrassed so in the future my mind is like “You’re pathetic and embarrassing why would anybody want to talk to you” and I just don’t talk to anybody. Then not talking to anybody makes my social skills even worse so the problem gets worse. Ight im done that made me feel a little better.

why have 4chan rejects been flocking to ktt lately (not referring to you op)

Ify u just gotta make it work somehow dont be afraid to be urself with ppl you'll see that some are prob the same and are just lookin for a friend like u

I’ve been literally dreaming of finding someone that is like me but anytime I have a conversation with anyone my mind just goes blank and I just stop talking because I have no idea what to say. And it really hurts because I’m not even an introvert. I actually love being around people I just don’t know how to talk to people.

That sounds like the worst s*** ever. Wanting company but no idea how to get it

This

Unironically

It is. I’m tired of being alone everyday I just want to be happy. At the same time I don’t know how to not be alone.

Yo I'm not gonna sit here and self diagnose myself or anything like that...but these bullet points sound a LOT like me

If you really do have it you probably don’t have any friends and have never had an intimate relationship of any kind so I pray for you lol. I wouldn’t wish it on anyone. I can’t describe the pain of waking up and remembering that you’re alone every single day. It’s unbelievable but for some reason I still don’t want to kill myself.

that's how names work nigga

The more I research this the more I get scared bc if there is really no way to cure this eventually I’m going to have to commit suicide. It bums me out bc my depression has gotten so much better but life is still so agonizing. Sorry if I’m being annoying bc I keep posting but I don’t have anyone I can tell this to and I don’t have time for therapy rn so this is all I can do.

it was nice knowing you

Funny

had a group of friends from high school (like 9-10 of us) but all those relationships have died out and haven't been replaced. now i'm left with two but one of them lives all the way on the other side of the country now and the other one i haven't talked to in a month so i kinda don't. and if you're talking about romantic relationships when you say intimate then yeah i've never had that s*** either lmao. i don't speak to anyone in my family either besides my mom and grandma so

Maybe you do idk. I had a friend for summer 2019 but before that I hadn’t had a friend since the 6th Grade.

Are you close with them? Do you actively maintain connections and talk to them? I have a few friends from high school I still hang out with in between uni classes but I know once I graduate I'll lose touch with all of them and be left alone, just like what happened when I graduated school.

I'm the odd one out of the friend group that has never had a one-on-one conversation, always just in group conversations. I barely know any of them because I've never actually talked to them, just kind of exist in their presence and say a few words.

It's pretty much the only time I socialise as well. As soon as I'm home I just stay on my computer and don't talk to any of my "friends". I barely talk to my parents as well, especially because theres a language barrier between us.

It sucks that I literally can't be a normal person and just have this s*** come naturally to me. I have to be f***ing forced into social situations by some external authority. I know once I graduate I'm going to be completely alone since I'll never be in a situation where I'll see my friends. My brain just never feels the need to talk or socialise like normal people do, even though I'm lonely as f***. I'm at the point where even if I made an effort to socialise, I wouldn't know how to because I've been starved of social interaction.

rt

Yay I found someone like me. We don’t have to be friends or anything it’s just nice to know I’m not the only one that’s like this. It’s good to know I’m not alone in my suffering. I’m interested in the language barrier tho how do you speak a different language than your parents?

Sounds like me 100%, explains why i hard no gf

Do u have friends?

Were you guys born like this or did you end up like this from social isolation and bullying? I used to be normal but sometime around when I was 10 or 11 I started being like this. I think because I was really cringy around that age and people isolated me because of that.

Don't worry, we'll be friends and then probably never speak to one another at all again