Preface this by saying I rarely in my life have asked to borrow money from friends, but when I do I find it paramount I pay them back literally the second I am able to. The issue I’m having is I lent a friend a decent amount of money and their attitude towards paying me back has left a bad taste in my mouth. I’ve actually lent them money before a few times and they’ve been good for it, although I’m not really a big fan of lending money in the first place even if I know you will pay me back. Now it’s over a month since this go round and I’ve sent some texts (they live out of state) periodically checking into when they’ll get back to me and the last conversation escalated to them gaslighting me about pressing them and how they’ve always paid me back. That was a week ago and now I’m sitting here harping on it and trying to keep it respectful but also want to turn up a bit because this s*** really starting to piss me off

I only lend money if I can afford to never get it back and if they never pay me back then I look at them different and they lost a solid homie, I’ll still be cordial but the relationship does change

How much money?

It was under $1k but enough to definitely not just let it go off GP lol

I’ll lend it if I don’t mind not getting it back. If I never get it back, when/if they ask me again I’ll tell them not until they pay me back for the last time

unfortunately if i ever loan money i go with the expectation that i'm never giving it back. but if someone ever does loan me money, pay for my dinner, s*** like that i make sure to pay them back with the quickness and make it be known with a venmo/zelle screenshot has this friend been experiencing financial hardship?

That’s why you’re a great person I’m the same way they’re in credit card debt and I even tried to talk to them about ways to help with consolidation and stuff but they weren’t trying to hear it. Lowkey feel like it’s enabling them by continuing to lend money but I’m also trying to help as someone who has been there and knows what that cycle feels like

do tell more about consolidation i have some debt i'm working to pay off and just got a new role after almost 8 months of being unemployed (along with a second job on the side) and am grinding to pay that s*** off

America is filled with people that finance their lives using credit

your friend needs to get their s*** together

I know it feels like the right thing to do but don't destroy your finances for someone who keeps putting themselves in a bad spot and planning on using their loved ones as an escape pod

I've never lent money to a friend but if I did, I would probably only do it if I felt like they were responsible and a person who fell on hard luck despite that

its f***ed up but sometimes people cause their own misfortune

you give them the money as a gift and dont expect it back, you're not a bank why would you lend someone money?

unless you draft a contract a loan to a friend should always be considered a gift

learned that with 1k

I don’t lend money out

Far from an expert but basically took the cumulative debt from my credit cards and was able to take out a personal loan from my credit union at a much better interest rate versus the credit cards as well as getting a monthly payment that I could reasonably pay the debt off to the bank over a few years (I actually was able to pay it off way earlier)

I am your friend give me some money

i give and dont expect it back

We're friends, right?

Unfortunately you know now not to do that again. People that borrow money and don’t make it a priority to repay don’t deserve the grace of help especially from someone that isn’t wealthy

Don’t do it

had a friend that texted me asking for $50 out of the blue

never talked to him again

I don’t lend money

I buy items and expect a payback

8 months of being unemployed

Makes sense

My mom always said there's three things you should never do with friends: f*** them, borrow/lend money, or talk politics and I gotta say I agree with her on this one

I’ve been in situations where I was waiting on money I’ve lent to friends. Nothing over $100 but when I ask for it back I always try to play it off like I’m now in deep need of the money cause of unexpected hardships. So far, it’s worked out for getting them to pay up

If you tell them something’s come up and you’re desperate for the money and they still don’t pay. They’re not a friend.

In general, I agree with others saying don’t lend to friends. Not worth the risk

I’m against loaning period. I don’t lend out money that people have to pay back.

It’s either a gift from me or it’s nothing. If I’m not in a position to gift you the bread then it’s a no.

Approach it like this and your relationships will stay intact. When you lend people you expecting back and they don’t come through then s*** gets iffy fast

this