Let's say you're at a music festival, and Nardwaur has chosen to interview you.

How will it go?

discuss

id gift him a handful of insanely well researched artefacts, each one conjuring long since forgotten memories of his youth and early days of struggling in his career

dayum. turn the tables on the goat

I'd be fanning out

Me: “Whats good Nardwuar”

Nardwuar: “I have a gift for you! It’s the left glove of that guy you shot in South Harlem back in October of 2011 with no witnesses around other than a local homeless man known as Stinky Steve”

I’d have my team talk to him before hand to not reveal anything too personal like where I live

I cant believe nobody has done this yet tbh

he'd probably cry

"Thank you so much Elric!"

then id tell him not to say anything crazy or ill punch his face like Ab Soul did

id say "doot doot" when he wanted me to prolly

i’d stare at him the whole interview and not say one word

then when he said doot doot da loot do, imma just walk away like :vlosereave:

Nardwuar: Babylon Sherm! Welcome to Vancouver, British Columbia. Today is… (points mic in face)

Me: Friday

Nardwuar: and Babylon Sherm where should you go on Friday?

Me: Come ITT and bar out like never before?

Nardwuar: YES!! Now what can you tell us about this man (pulls out vinyl copy of billy woods Hiding Places)

Me: Oh that guy f***ing hates me! Can I keep this?

Wouldn’t interview with that weirdo, we only going on Drink Champs

Break character just once king

U seem like you’d be geeked to be on DJ Vlad or Million Dollars Worth of Game

What if it turned out Nardwaur was God himself & does this s*** when he’s bored