I'm far as f*** from being bright, on the ball, or switched on etc.. if it was raining soup, I would be outside with a fork frfr.

I got food and shelter, but I ain't loved from anyone.. like what is the point in breathing, bro!?

Love you

Your life is not valued by who else loves you. Your life is valued by yourself.

Create and consume art

Bring joy to others when you can

I think I do to some degree.

I'm just so envious of those who receive love from others. I feel I got to produce illmatic era Nas level of work to receive love from others.

My point is that you can't buy love you have to prove it through test of will or w/e.

Privoritising material comfort over emotional nourishment is ugly asf.

While that's partially true, I have a few thoughts.

First of all, you gotta create for yourself. It doesn't have to be formal or significant. Journal a few sentences. Mess with the EQ on a song, go outside and take some cool pictures with your phone. I've rarely if ever put anything I've done out there, I just think it's good for the soul to make things and just get ideas out of your head and in to the real world in any way possible.

Secondly, one thing I've learned is that no matter who you are, there's people out there who are gonna f*** with you. They don't always magically appear, you gotta search for it sometimes. If you have any hobbies, there are ways to connect with people in your area that like the same things, but you gotta go out and actually find those groups. Sometimes those people do appear out of nowhere. I know people joke about hanging out with coworkers, but back when I worked a s***ty job at a restaurant, over time I got pretty close with a handful of likeminded coworkers and we would hang pretty often. The part you've gotta get over is the fear of rejection, if you have it. Not everyone's gonna like you, and that's fine, but you'll never find the people that do if you're too scared to try.

There is an ultimate external source of love, and that is God. God loves you so much that he humbled himself and became flesh through Jesus Christ.

He walked alongside us on earth despite having no obligation to do so. He then suffered and died a painful and humiliating death and rose from the grave three days later to prove his love and divinity for us and offer salvation to everyone who humbles themselves, repent and believe in Him.

Imagine being God, creator of the universe, the greatest being in the world, and yet humbling yourself in such a way for the sake of the specks of dust that are humans. There is no greater display of love than what Jesus did for us 2000 years ago.

God is love.

@OP I'm glad you're articulating how you feel and thats a good sign and im also hoping and believing that the fact youre realizing these things will set you up to be able to appreciate that "external love" later on and be grateful to it

It's on the way fam.

once you realize that the love you show and have for yourself is all you “need” you’ll be fine

you’re need for an external anything will keep you suffering, it’s all inside

you should volunteer

Funny enough I already do. I busted my ankle so I been bed bound for a hot minute.

I really hope so, bro.

Much love ❤️

I'm not loved by even my parents nor talked to any "friends" in months. You gotta stop caring just focus on God

God ain't real, bro.. atleast to me

When you got those brief moments of external validation in the form of love it's like a Oxy & Crack sandwich.

In my opinion, the purpose of being alive is to experience the wonders that the world and the human experience have to offer - be that art, nature, emotion, spirituality, knowledge, or whatever holds profundity for you. And I do genuinely believe everyone experiences love, just at different times and in different manifested forms. Until you do, you have a boundlessly beautiful world to explore, enjoy, and learn from. Sending love OP, it gets better

U not believing in god is actually the source of ur suffering

U ain't got family or friends that love you?

Yeah, but idk it feels inauthentic. I feel my soul is crying out for affection. Maybe, I'm trippin' idk.

That’s Subjective isn’t it?

Do you have any family?