I lit a housefly on fire

DAVIDP

May 18, 2021

How? I’m glad you asked.

11:30 PM. Last night.

I went into the bathroom to let out a number two. I was in the process of sitting down when I heard the unmistakable him of a fly, and I knew that my partner in the bathroom with me needed to be terminated. No measly insect shall interrupt my bathroom time.

I got up and went into the kitchen and got something to kill it with. That thing? An electric fly swatter. I hurried back to the bathroom and opened the door, relocated the fly, and turned on the power and started swinging at it. I zapped it once but nothing happened. I cornered it into a lamp shade and got it to fly out, and zapped it again out of mid air. It fell into the coils and the metal of the swatter, and became trapped. I went full Guantanamo Bay and turned on the power, and it kept getting zapped multiple times a second. Just to make sure it was dead. It sounded like a tazer. But I accidentally held it too long and it eventually started smoking, and I was in the process of letting the button go when it caught on fire. A fly in my house caught on fire. When is the last time you have seen a fly ingulfed in flames?

I threw it in the sink and turned on the water, which extinguished the fire but left the charred carcass of what was once a Musca Domestica, but was now just a pile of ash. I went outside to the back yard and my dogs started sniffing it, but I cleaned out the thing until there was nothing left, then my parents came out and asked what I was going and I told them I just was checking something.