When I was 15 I got violated by an older guy who ruined my life and everything changed for me. I became a lot colder crueler and distant when I used to be a bundle of warmth and love and kindness. I also became someone who refused to let anyone get too close to me or know the real me so they couldn't do what he did again.

Thing is. I think I've lost sight of any single identity.

I'm a writer. A musician. A d*** dealer. A womanizer apparently. I'm gender neutral. Facebook Famous. A local democrat who registered people to vote. A computer whiz with coding skills.

I moderate different discords with completely different interests from Sonic the Hedgehog all the way to Civil War history.

I have so many interests and so many different communities I'm in. It's because I want to have so much going on that no one can really grab the real me. But it's given me so many identity crises it's not even funny.

Am I still that sweet boy who like girly stuff and writing and talking about deep conversations with people for new truths? Or am I a s*** who goes through men and women like they're water and always trying to get a new one? Am I a d*** dealer who you shouldn't f*** around with? Or am I this soft poet who has a deep understanding of the world and wants to make it a better place.

I REALLY don't know who I am and the amount of absurd stuff I get into makes people think I be making stuff up.

Last year I went to colorado to make a 10k deal with someone, I was part of a local rappers enterouge and went to stripper parties and f***ed bad b****es, I worked on an album, I went to Miami and met a stripper who became my friend and paid me to drive her around to different guys. And I had Steven Universe as my most listened to artist of the year.

These are all things that happened and that's just the stuff that I want to post because it has the most plausibility. I literally find myself in insane situations all the time and I know it's on me but I don't even know how it happens. It's part of how deeply I've hidden myself off so people don't feel bad sharing things we me because I don't make close circle friendships.

I think something is wrong with me and I don't know what but it's driving me insane. What should I do?

this is just to vent, i feel insane

idk bro but pls stop making fake threads on relationship sxn. seek help🙏

Well, why can'tt you be interested in multiple things?

THAT'S THE THING THEY DON'T BE FAKE MY LIFE IS INSANE AND I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO

i've gotten into a bunch of insane situation this past year because of who i am

🙏

Can you give me one you thought was fake? I stopped posting proof because one time I posted a picture of a girl I liked in a KTT server and the dude added the girl and paid him to sext her.

And even that sounds like a lie. You see how crazy this is? But I have proof for all of them.

Remember who you are.

@A24 I think this should be your next movie

I know who I am but I think I have a desire for risktaking that could end up being harmful

Look inside yourself, you are more than what you have become.

You must take your place in the circle of life.

Euphoria character

Yo y’all niggas are f***ing ruthless lmao wtf

Smoke dmt b****

i'm off a perc 30 rn that's the hardest d*** i'll do

Just try it

Have you made a thread like this before? I feel like I've read a very similar wall of text in this sxn recently.

I haven't. This is a new realization.

idk what yall on ITT yall might know something i dont know but

@OP u just gotta do something to find peace for yourself, find what makes you happy and brings u fulfillment, cut as many negatives draggin u down out, if u can

lifestyle,

tone it down bruh we do a whole lotta stuff we don't need to do, buy stuff we don't need and have too much s*** u gotta focus on the absolute essentials

this does read like copypasta tho lol.

if this is real: just turn all that noise down so to speak, u seem like u doing to much.

Just be. exist. and reflect/meditate on what you really want/enjoy

Lmfaooo

I'm just afraid of letting anyone get too close to me ever again after what he did