There’s this girl that I’ve been close friends with since my freshman year of college. Before we became close I had a minor crush on her but as our friendship grew I started to see her as “one of the homies”. Our junior year of college (spring 2019) she asked me to take her on a Valentine’s Date, she asked me to take her again in the spring of 2020 and is asking me to take her again in 2021. I’m starting to question if she’s interested in me or if she wants me to spoil her as a guy best friend. Sometimes I do have feelings for her, especially if she’s looking good on a particular day, but it’s not consistent. I’ve also never been in a romantic relationship and I’m not currently in the right mental state to deal with someone else right now. Post grad has left me more confused than I’ve ever felt. The reason I’m asking this question is because I’ve been told that the best relationships are with people that started of as good friends. This girl has had my back through thick and thin, has seen me at my lowest and has always been supportive of me. She is beautiful, smart and kind. It makes the most logical sense for me to pursue her, so why am I so hesitant?

Like you said, you've never been in a romantic relationship before so of course you're going to be hesitant. That said, it doesn't sound like you have any romantic feelings for her. Just because it makes logical sense doesn't mean you should pursue it if your heart & mind aren't in the right place.

Have a conversation with her.

If she does have feelings go out to a dinner with her.

Either way you’ll realise if it’s too awkward then nothing there but if it feels right then it’s the start of something awesome hopefully

Good luck op

Honestly OP I’m in a very similar boat, have a college best friend that I’m seeing in the next few days during break. Not sure either if there’s feelings there but I’ve had some in the past like you.

The way I’m going about it, just spending time with her is always great and if the conversation comes up then I won’t shy away from it but I’m also not sure if I can romantically be in a relationship right now

Wish I had some answers for you OP

I respect it. Good luck brother

Tell her you're not interested and you just want to keep being friends.

Same to you brother, either way keep the friendship strong and alive

Will try 🥺

Stick ur thumb in her ass for your legacy

We got you fam

idk man.

at the least you need to have a convo with her about how she feels and whats going on. the fact that you admitted you're inconsistent on some days, some days shes hot other days shes not etc. leads me to believe the relationship might not work long-term

if shes THAT good of friends with you, maybe you can try a relationship and take it slow, and if you dont want to go further and arent feeling it, hopefully she'll understand and you guys can go back to being great friends

if i had to guess tho, id say it overwhelmingly goes the other way - in that you can go in being friends but the relationship ruins the friendship. thats happened millions of times.

Hop on that s*** asap pandemic has made me regret not making moves my senior year of college so much. Was totally fine and chill but when pandemic hit i'm like f*** I missed my chance could have been quarantining with the one instead of being by myself.

Ruining the friendship is my greatest fear

Yea, you're in a tough spot

It you just decline her advances she might get hurt a little, but may recover. If you give her what she wants and play along, and you arent feeling the relationship, she will prob be hurt even more.

You don't know what she's thinking, she may think you're the dude she wants to marry.

Marriage, yikes, you ain’t gotta scare me like this bro

nope. confront her tell the truth let it play itself out

just being honest, and that way ull be prepared for anything

you dont know what shes thinking, maybe she thinks yall are meant for eachother and shes been gaging to see if you feel the same way.

i think the best option is to just not play any games with her, because as her good friend that wouldnt be the right thing to do ya know? if ur honest and reject her, and she gets hurt a little, at least u were honest and were truthful instead of stringing her along lying basically.

or you can date her, take it slow, and see what happens. you should lay that out to her if you do end up dating officially. make sure shes on the same page as you and isnt expecting something else

Not even worth it fam. Would you rather her be your friend forever or a gf who’ll break up with you and hate you

f*** her

Idk man just take her out see how it goes

first relationships only work out like 1% of the time. Do what you want with that information

also i am a big proponent of breaking the cycle of hurt thats riddling todays generation

if u dont have requited feelings, dont engage with somebody else. that s*** sucks. and you should DECLINE that valentines day and stop doing anything to encourage her thinking or giver her hope in any way op

she asked you to be her valentines date years back n u just now questioning her interest in you