This has been going on for 3 years now, where my younger brother has been constantly using marijuana but my family is very conservative on s*** like that (He's been using since 14 years old btw, now 18). He also had some anger issues but got much better nowadays, doesn't get physical anymore and I'm glad to see him making improvements, even though he's still somewhat using.

The biggest problem is with my father, where he constantly treats my mother as the scapegoat in 99% of situations whether my brother throws a b**** fit or my father f***s up with something. Not to mention, he yells a lot, says words like "Piece of s***" and "Shut the f*** up" to both of them, and never praises my mother nor brother on anything. Constantly stays pissed off at the people overseas (Who they scammed him and attacked him physically several years back) I get they're trash, but ffs they're 10,000 miles away so who gives a f*** now. Encourages my brother to move out after graduation even though he doesn't have a job yet and doesn't constantly make money.

He's reaching 60 years old now, but it sucks to see him behave this way and I appreciate his talent in business and providing for the family. I just can't wait to move out, it's already s***ty there's a pandemic going on and barely hanging out with friends. Over the years I kinda learned to stop carrying about this drama since it comes and goes, but man I don't wanna inherit this behavior and constantly be stressed out.

i couldn’t imagine that, prolly the reason people move out as soon as they can and i’m living at home at 24. they doing their kids a disservice by raising you around that

Bro don’t get me started on my family sometimes I wish the rona just takes me out

God I love them but my family is so dysfunctional. The saddest part is that they are in denial. My dad is 58 and still tries to control me (26) and my brother (29) like we are babies. Don’t get me started on how he treats my mom.

I think I’ll low key end up dying from a broken heart if this Covid s*** lasts till fall

Man we're both in very similar situations, we just have to stay strong and wait until the rona s*** ends.

Bro it’s never going to f***ing end. The media keeps making this virus seem like it’s the most deadliest thing out there. We are gonna end up being quarantined till next year and the economy is gonna be so f***ed. Also life is gonna get so much harder after all this. So many jobs will be taken out

Yea I mean people are thinking it won't end for another couple of years and you're right about the media, in reality the rates are quite miniscule. I'm also in college right now and suppose to get an internship, now idk how that'll happen

Time to get some money and move out

right, because right now is the perfect time and opportunity to get money and move out

I ain't known different my whole life

but I feel you bro I deal with similar issues, and it contributes to anxiety n s*** but things do get better eventually. Even when it seems like no way out.

Yea but I don't have a job right now and mainly learning to invest in stocks. Getting hang of it since I made like $1200 last Friday from my father's help but I gotta be more consistent.

My friends have been talking about moving out too but idk if I wanna move in with them tbh

Thankfully over the past year I learned to stop giving a s*** and I don't feel as emotional anymore when this happens. At this point it's getting quite annoying, and doesn't help me focus on my school work

Support ur brother

Ur father is probably going thru some s*** so give him a lil space

At the end of the day ur family is everything so if u gotta spend some time talking about s*** with ur mom's an bro that's what u gotta do. Ur father is the in spite of right now u love ur mom and make her happy in spite of him same with ur bro. Don't let this s*** be a burden acknowledge that it is ur main job to keep ur family strong it's nothing to run from it's ur top priority

I feel you OP. My fam waaay dysfunctional. For reference, my mom got (undiagnosed but displays the symptoms) borderline personality disorder and my oldest sister who still lives at home has bipolar, schizophrenia, ptsd, substance addictions (all of that hard s***), anxiety and probably other s*** I’m forgetting. Mom also been out of work since 09 and disabled so we broke broke. I’ll let your imagination do the rest.

Left for college, and never looked back. Will never move back. I’m lucky to have one other sister who is sane so we can actually relate to one another over the f***ery.

you're not gonna go back to try and help them?

I help out financially as much as I can, which isn’t too much since I’m a fresh grad with student debt and cost of living. As for living there, hell no. It’s entirely too toxic, constant arguments between the two, sister having psychotic episodes, breaking windows, literally falling through the ceiling from the attic, hell she just totaled another car earlier this week by crashing into two cars simultaneously. She’s about to be 30 this year. I got stories for days. It’s honestly too much and deserves its own thread. I emphasize with my mom, but she isn’t innocent in her role either, and she refuses to grow as a person, perpetually stuck in her ways which will always result in a distance in our relationship that will never be able to be crossed. Trust me, I’m conflicted as hell.

f*** yo dad, at least stay close with your brother and mom tho assuming they're cool

May I ask about your father?

Emotionally unavailable by the time I was born. Likely due to being emotionally and verbally abused by my mother throughout the marriage because he had diffficulty holding down a job. One of the characteristics of borderline personality disorder is an extreme temper, so she’d constantly yell and cuss at him. Tell us he ain’t s*** and to never be like him, talk s*** about him to us, her friends, and her family pretty much the entire marriage. Honestly they should’ve gotten a divorce and this is like the main source of my commitment issues.

Anyway, he had a stroke and was put on medication and was fine. However, we didn’t know That apparently whatever is in grapefruit cancels out the medication and since he was eating that, he ended up having another stroke and had to go to the hospital. He was fine until during that night at the hospital where he had yet ANOTHER one, essentially putting him in a coma for like 6 months until he died in 2009. Mother was laid off in 07 off that recession, and his death pretty much guaranteed her arthritis worsening to the point where she’s just now able to use crutches instead of a walker thanks to physical therapy. But of course, her need to avoid any sort of accountability and victimize herself makes her revise history so she always talks about how good the marriage was, fooling literally no one since she talked so much s*** during the whole thing.

Side note: she’s also unbelievably paranoid. She believes people break into our house to go into her closet and steal her clothes. (bypassing the TVs and laptops they could actually steal to idunno sell and make money). Granted, my sister and cousin have stolen from her before, but this has resulted in us changing locks to the house like 20 times and recently she wants to do it again.

Sorry OP that I kinda commandeered your thread with my experience. I’m usually not this vulnerable online but since I was prompted I decided I’d share. Was kinda therapeutic ngl

S*** I moved out at 19

Holy f*** bro and I thought I was having a rough life. Jeez bro I’m so sorry you have tone through hell pretty much all your life. I’m surprised your sane and still trying to better your life. I would have honestly offed myself a long time ago. Much power to you bro godspeed to you and your family.

How old are you and what state do you live in?

Thanks fam. Always good to count your blessings, not to downplay your own situations, but to find solace in the things you may not know you’re taking for granted. Applies to OP too.

24. Missouri but I’m not from here . I’ve flirted with the thought of offing myself sometimes, but never seriously. More of an existential “I’d rather have never existed” over wanting to actually kill myself lol. I haven’t f***ed up too badly life wise, but the damage of the environment manifested itself internally in me, really affecting my self esteem and ability to connect with others, achieve goals, etc. Without a therapist, I got my work cut out for me in resolving all of this.

Hopefully I can get some talent, become an artist, and pimp my trauma in music for cash gotta make all of it worth it somehow

Bro I’m 26. Left Missouri after hs and thought my life would be perfect. It was fun for the last 9 years with minor ups and downs, but these last 6 months have been hell for me. Utter f***ing hell. I’m surprised I have gotten in such good shape considering the fact that I am depressed out of my mind bro