Thanks man I try. I lost a friend to depression years ago...and after cats passing I felt like if anyone on KTT wants to talk I’d be here to offer an ear.

Thanks again man

Idk honestly. I've always felt like I had a really good sense of direction in my life but covid has f***ed everything up

I knew i wanted to be a music teacher since I was a freshman in high school and that hasn't deterred at all but now that i've been in lockdown for like 6 months now my ambition to be a teacher is just nonexistent. My ambition to even finish school rn is nonexistent. I see how much teachers are struggling with remote teaching and how badly children are "learning" through remote learning and even myself personally I'm not learning s***. It's just scary because I never ever thought about a backup plan since I've been deadset on this for like 6 years now, it might be just a phase but its really scary its making me feel like i have nowhere to go

Feel you fam that sucks. COVID really made everyone stop and re-evaluate everything.

Just keep following your heart man. It might take you to places you don’t wanna go but maybe it’s for the best. Knuckle down and take what life gives you.

I’m not even gonna joke but realistically start a YouTube channel and make some videos teaching. S loves when KTT users try to start something creative and always helps promote from time to time. It also can help kill some time and maybe you pick up some new skills.

Thank you man

That's definitely something I want to look into because you're not the only person who's told me that. My main reason for wanting to become a teacher was because I always felt my musical intuition and knowledge would be a waste if it was just living in my head the entire time, I've always wanted to share that knowledge with other people so that actually sounds like something to consider

Go for it man.

Hit up @YoungNastyShawty @ktoarshan

Both are good posters and are building channels of their own which both get sticked in music.

I really need to improve my sleep to work on some debilitating mental health problems but a big problem is the main light in my room is too bright - need a source of light that I can use at night that is bright enough so that I can see around my room but dim enough to not disturb my sleep (fall asleep with the lights on all the time/can't get up at times due to health issues).

Does anyone have any suggestions (being able to rotate colors - heard red lights are better for sleep - would be great too)?

I’ve been sleeping out of my car these last two days...

Stimulus check any day now.

Depressed af

Same. You out of bed yet? Or is it nighttime?

It's like 3 am right here. Another restless night for me. One of those nights where alcohol and weed can't even put me down. I was trying to watch TV but I can't even focus my brain is all over the place.

What were you watching? I only really rewatch things. Helps to know how it ends. Or I’m usually rewatching cartoons I used to watch as a kid, so it’s familiar and comforting but I notice new things that keep and peak my attention

If your mind is wondering I always think going for a walk is a good way to clear it

I was trying to watch some anime, gurren lagann. but I couldn't focus so I just put one of those true crime things on the background and just laid down. I actually rewatch a lot of stuff myself it's totally comfort food for me. Walking does help because you shift your energy. It's f***ing cold outside I'll probably go out to smoke some more weed in a lil.

Did that help?

I'm sorry about your friend man

Sabotaging my happiness

I’ve been suffering from severe anxiety for a minute and it’s definitely become debilitating to my life. The issue is I make music, and the thought of being put on anxiety medication scares me because I feel like I won’t be the same person. is this reasonable or am I tripping?

All good Brodie

Are you on a budget? I had LIFX lights and you can do anything with them

Depends on the person and d*** fam.

When I was younger they tried to put me on something to slow me down and pay attention and it made me feel worse... but my grades did skyrocket

Take some time and consult with a doctor and learn about side effects and give them a shot

I deserve to be alone but it still hurts all the same

Not really, are the strips easier to adhere to things or do the light bulbs come in ready made lamps? It can be very difficult for me to do things right now so ease of access is important

Have you considered smart lighting (automated and controlled from your phone)?

I hadn't because I was scared it was only for iPhones (scared isn't the best word but one of the challenges of this is struggling with being able to think through small tasks so once an idea worms it's way into my head that might be it on that front).

Also the level of disability I'm struggling with makes me scared that I won't be able to handle the setup. Do you have to drill anything/use tools to set them up?

You can YouTube the strips I’m not sure about them.

The light bulbs can just go into any lamp you like