What a s*** feeling it is..

Im in the same boat as you. Years of this s*** and Im at breaking point honestly.

I don't have much to say, but I hope it eventually works out for us

I hope we both get through it.

Going to get back on therapy hopefully in the next 2 weeks.

how do yall do online therapy? i remember i felt horrible last year and downloaded one one night out of sheer desperation (either better help or talkspace ion remember) and when the person started talking to me i got so anxious/mind-blocked that i closed the app and never went back

I'm seeing someone at the moment and we're doing it over the phone, due to lockdowns. When she called, I was extremely emotional. I was about to say I couldn't do it and hang up. I'm a private person so that was hard to open up to a stranger over the phone, but it eventually got out. Even leading up to my second session, I was anxious and emotional l, but as the session went on, I was able to control myself...

About once every 6 months I seriously consider self harming. Outside of that I would never think of it. Weird how that works.

Everything happens to me

If it’s not one thing, it’s another. Something always goes wrong

Life is to be miserable and in pain

I think I'm getting better

I survived an attempt a couple days ago.

I’m not happy about it tbh

im feeling really good today, last week my therapist told me to thank myself for all the work i put into trying to heal

im actually so f***ed lol

Is there someone in your life you could speak to about how you feel?

I’m chilling I haven’t touched that stuff in a while but i guess I can imagine the feeling. Best of luck with that 🤝

Just had a little breakthrough and realized I suffer from like self doubt or something

A lot of times I’ll think about posting something and I’ll type it out then erase it and retype it and eventually just scrap it because I feel like people are gonna read it or see it and think negatively

And just realized it has kind of always plagued me

It’s affected me in relationships and careers and s***. Now I’m feeling kinda good cause I think I see the problem and now I just gotta find a solution

i'm 9 days in now it's still grim i'm not going to sugar coat it, although i seem to be improving at a snail's pace. It tends to take around 30 days, so i'm nearly 1/3 of the way there.

Thanks for the words of support

ah

anhedonia killing me

hate that nothing has gotten better since i decided to live, only difference is that now im covered in scars and hate living even more

how do i stop my brain from frying itself everyday from going over every bad thing that has happened to me or stuff that will happen to me

Honestly one day at a time. Healing and resolve isn’t linear. Speaking from experience with fluctuating feelings, you never really know when you will turn the corner on progress, it just kinda happens or u notice it.

Experiencing so much pain rn. Like the universe is working against.

We in this together curly. Well get back up together man

I want to cry so badly but im at work

My family expects so much of me when it comes to my caretaker role but then tells me im overbearing, im stonewalling, i think im better, this that and the f***ing third

What do you want from me? I cant work a normal schedule, i havent seen my friends in two months. All i do is smoke and f*** around man. Ive been crying with no tears for so f***ing long man.

I dont have time to think about a girlfriend. I cant even think about moving out. My mind is so hyperfocused on my family, and i love them far too much to run away

I can feel the strings breaking underneath me man and i dont know what im falling into.

Stay strong dawg. A lot of times the responsibility we’re saddled with can be overwhelming and it feels like we’re not even living a “real” life. I hope one day you can get the freedom you deserve.