F***

fukk i forgot about this... great song

F***, I wish it worked out. Still hurts when I think about it.

whose fault is it that i turned out the way i did

Iove you guys all these bad thoughts improve over time. Emotions are fleeting they come and go. This is a new year and this year is about us. I know I been neglecting myself and I sacrificed myself for others but this year it's not playing like that. I advise you to aall do the same. covid is bullshit but there's a light at the end of the tunnel and as soon as this s*** is over it's a wrap were gonna wild the f*** out!!! Please believe

You!!you've dealt with incredible amount of trauma no doubt but your perception of how you see that is your choice to an extent you can be wired differently obviously that makes you predisposed to behave w certain way. But at the end of the day we gotta take accountability for the s*** we do and get to to the root of why we do it so we can work on it.

This is that bullshit

Facts

No real rhyme or reason today, nothing pressing came up or trying. A normal day, but I was working and something minor happened. For whatever reason it made me miss the closeness, even if it was fake it always felt real to me.

Im not built to be alone. I’m going to off myself if I don’t have a partner by 30. I will give all my assets away and OD. Not gonna do later life alone

we are social creatures and i think one could argue healthy relationships are essential to be healthy, but having a partner won't fix all your problems you have to love yourself to the fullest and accept the things you can't change, and change the things you can.

depression like a parasite on the mind

idealising that having a partner might get rid of your emotional anguish isn't the correct route because you'll be relying on them for emotional your well-being.

support systems are important, but we should strive to be stable without being reliant on anyone else.

fighting against that negative mental narrative is such a struggle.

shoutout to everyone going through this

Pmuch why I popped in here lol my mind would be much clearer without some of the negative scenarios and hypotheticals I create. Workinonit tho

Loving yourself has to be your highest priority.

And just in case any one struggles with putting themself first- No, putting yourself first does not mean you are a narcissist or are selfish.

Love y'all
Xo

don't b harsh on yourself b try to learn from the experience and see how you can improve in future interactions

Cudi got me f***ed up 7 ways to Sunday with Lovin Me

be gentle on yourself b if someone is being rude or aggressive it's a reflection on their part nobody should he in a position to take that type of vitriol.