Anxiety too strong. I'm never gonna be normal

i thought this at one time man you ever tried getting into weight lifting or regular exercise? it isn't a cure, but it will probably help

depression and loneliness is hitting again

I'll try it out. Thanks :)

Been drinking all day the past 3 days.. back on my f*** s*** man

Percocets every day for the past few weeks, im right with you

Defeated

Be safe man, quarantine hard asf out here

Came back from a camping trip today. My sister invited me with her boyfriend. It was nice, but I felt so damn lonely. The things we were doing is what I want to do with someone. Going for bushwalks, beaches and just enjoying each other's company. I held it together until I got home and let it go Haven't cried like this in years, cried my eyes out. I know what I want in life, but I feel like I'm so far away from getting it. I've hardly had any relationship experiences, and that is something I want and need so bad. If I were to watch a romantic comedy or something, I can easily cry watching just a simple scene. Some friends would be nice also lol, I do know people but they're are out of state and in other countries, so I csnt really do much with them
S*** thing is, I got nothing to do since I got no friends to hang out with, so meeting people is f***ing hard. I actually can't wait to go to uni since we are able to attend campus. Even thogih I'm shy and s***, I still need thqt social interaction.

I don't know if I should see someone that I can talk to. My mum thinks I should, but I find it hard to open up to people. I've been going through this for years and I just recently told my mum what I've been going through. I'm not gonna off myself.. Ive thought about it, but I doubt that'll happen, since I wouldn't know what to do or I wouldnt be able to do it. Plus like I said before, there's things I want to do and have in life.

I can't even listen to some of Cudi's songs since it f***in hurts, like his song love. I love it (no pun intended) but that song cuts deep. I guess I gotta start to make some self improvements, like better diets and just go from there.

I know this is another short essay, but if you did read it.. Thank you.

I feel a little better after crying and typing this stuff out.

tip 1: do it for you
tip 2: do it for someone else

if being a good friend feels like a job so be it. if my time here isn’t happy i’ll make someone else’s. a lot of the time it’s not being memorable it’s making their experience worth remembering. a happy balance

I create all my problems, I know in 10 years from now im going to look at myself in disgust or be so far gone I dont feel anything and just become a s***ty person

i feel you on a lot of s***! i think it’s cool you can tell your mom that stuff, that says a lot. you’ll be good brah

@Asdm you're a real strong person for typing this out and insightful to recognise things you wish to seek out.

i been on a better diet since the new year, i would recommend slowly integrating it into your life.

exercise, reading, and manage your internet time is also helpful in my experience.

if you ever need to talk man don't b afraid to hit up my DMs or we could chop it up on discord.

Much Love x

feeling better a bit better now

NGL, i WaS LeaNiNG oN SuiCiDe LaST NiGHT HeaViLY BuT SoMeTHiNG iNCReDiBLY BLeSSeD JuST HaPPeNeD THaT MaKeS Me WaNT To KeeP LiViNG
i aiNT FeLT LiKe THiS iN a LoNG aSS TiMe FR
No LoNGeR FeeLiNG DooMeD aBouT THe FuTuRe, MiGHT eVeN TRY To LiVe PaST 30 NoW CauSe oF THiS
THaNK You, BoZo

SToPPeD BeiNG oVeRWeiGHT, STaRTeD GeTTiNG a ReaL GooD BaG, MY BiGGeST oPP aND HaTeR iS DeaD, THiNGS aRe LooKiNG So uP FoR Me YaLL

FiRST TiMe iN aWHiLe i CaN SaY iM TRuLY GooD

corny to say but it will get better

I woke up to my mom praying over me apparently I got up out of nowhere and starting screaming and chasing her. Idk what happened in between I just couldn’t stop crying or shaking only thing I can recall is feeling down the night before and hearing things in my ear and I was sad but something was off about this night I felt like I failed or something. I never had sleepwalking issues when I was younger and this felt extremely fast I it felt like something was taking over my body I’m scared and embarrassed idk what happened. My mom and grandma are looking up options for help but I don’t know wtf really going on

I didn’t take any d****

Well i went home alone for Christmas. Went to the Poconos for 2 nights with my mom. But i came back to brazil on the 11th. We went straight to a water park for a day, then we went to a beach called Ubatuba. We visited a few beaches and went to a waterfall and stuff.

My girl has been doing better, but everything is still reminding her of her sister, but its expected. Today is the first day i been home in brazil

if it's true it ain't corny