Br00ses

15h

If it's like a complete stranger and we end up talking just based on coincidence that's a bit better for me

Because I know like that's it

That's when I usually end up having better conversations tbh

Crabout

15h

transient people can be very fun

I have great memories of meeting people on trips where this happens

Br00ses

15h

It's the best because it ultimately just doesn't matter

You'll never really have to see them again

As soon as there's the expectation of having like a long lasting relationship it poisons it for me a bit

Crabout

15h

have you thought about taking the pressure off yourself when you talk to somebody you feel like could be a long lasting relationship, so that if it turns transient it wont bother you, to make it less poisonous for yourself?

if that makes any sense

Br00ses

15h

But it's not really possible because you know them or they want to know you

And the difference is like clear

Like if it's just a one off convo or if this person that is taking to you is trying to like know you

I just really hate feeling connected to people

Crabout

15h

what about feeling connected to people do you dislike?

Br00ses

15h

Well now you're just trying to make the conversation sad !

Crabout

14h

im sorry that wasnt my intention its a genuine question, u dont gotta answer it if u dont want to.

Br00ses

14h

I don't want it to come across as though I'm like sulking for sympathy but it's a hard question to answer honestly without coming across that way

I am not a fan of myself and don't have faith in my ability to contribute to worthwhile connections/relationships with others.

Br00ses

14h

I don't want it to come across as though I'm like sulking for sympathy but it's a hard question to answer honestly without coming across that way

I am not a fan of myself and don't have faith in my ability to contribute to worthwhile connections/relationships with others.

Stankie

14h

You seem like a pretty great conversationalist, at least on here. I went from hating you to you being one of my favorite posters on this entire website. I would say you definitely have the ability, it might just be a question of if you can translate that ability into real life conversations. That will take some work but you already have a good starting position.

Crabout

15h

thats reassuring to hear! when ive talked about it people before they really dont know where im coming from.

what have you done to ameliorate it?

Ive done both extremes at different phrases in my life where I try to only get people to talk about themsleves (but in a genuine way about things im also interested in) and then tried to let go of anxiety and be more stream of consciousness.

nowadays im in the middle where i share antidotes about myself if I think the other people will enjoy it and spur on more conversation. im more selective about what I share.

But I also think my ratio of the two is not fine tuned enough compare to other people I meet who are just very self aware and social

Nort

14h

I think it’s more comfortable to talk about yourself as an introverted person because it gives you more control over the conversation. So when I’m passing it off to the other person I try to find something genuinely interesting in what they’re saying or find a relating personal anecdote. Feels like an obvious strategy here but I never said it was a unique approach

Br00ses

1d

U have been much meaner to everyone than he has ever been....

Spice Stone

15h

but like new ppl? ???

FBG LIIIIT

14h

Who liked this

Br00ses

17h

@YungPapi I watched this movie called "Nope" last night

Have you ever heard of that?

Spice Stone

15h

but like new ppl? ???

frenchpress

14h

Definitely me

Crabout

14h

yeah sometimes what works just works, dont have to reinvent the wheel!

I agree with this approach 100%

Nort

14h

ive noticed @RVI is really good about asking people questions in convo to keep it moving and been trying to emulate that recently