Tired

Idk if this count as a relapse cause i never really quit but i just went all out cause i got that nice feeling

yo im dead

I cant manage my anger.

I broke down and almost trashed my house

and somehow my anger always turns into suicidal mania

Yall kno that feeling of why me that comes?

I swear it’s the worst

Was making dinner and a memory from 6 yrs ago when i was 14 came and I remember i had a diary of ny thoughts and anxieties and episodes

I had forgetten about that. The thing with depression is tht u forget or get used to it and now im like why me dude lol. I was a kid, why did this s*** choose me to wreck me of normal function and just fry my brain and then I wonder if it will get better or if ill just be stuck with this thing forever

Sucks how theres people with friend groups that hangout and go to the beach or parties while im just isolated working on my craft

You can only work hard in isolation for so long before it gets to you

My f***ing friends suck lmao

I feel so weird today like tired and sad for no reason

Don't know wtf to do with myself

Fomo a b**** for real

I feel u. U see so many ppl who seem fine like why do I struggle so much with my emotions and energy

I just remember that there r a ton of less fortunate and happy ppl who I rather resonate with than the type of kids u see on social media etc. Like learning to enjoy a simple life not tryna keep up with the kids who jus wanna have fun all the time

no thanks

yea why did I have to get cursed with this disease and have to go through such a bad childhood

what'd I do to deserve that

I feel you. Few of my friends went out tonight and I wasn't even invited. I probably would have said no because I have a lot of stuff to do but an invite would have been nice at least. Gotta know who the real ones are

Your intrusive thoughts are getting to you. Ofc people would care if you die, its just your brain trying to f*** with you

We often seem to be our own worst enemies

i don't know if realizing that has helped me or not.

Love to all yall

It really is a battle like picture some crazy s*** u seen in a movie or something

But we've survived up to this point, so that's nothing to "scoff" at.

keep up the fight. u might even get stronger.

I hope we get better

Im not very optimistic tho

need to go make some friends who would in that case