on here like 6hrs a day fml

got put on seroquel

time for another med to not work

I'm so depressed

I'm so f***ing depressed. Wont amount to anything

searching 4 therapists

this ladies and gents is rock bottom, we’ve seen this sight before and this time is no different, we thank u for traveling with us

Silence

I listened to this song right before my first suicide attempt at 15. This song and kanye meant so much to me then
The world is cruel but some things can be sacred if you believe them to be

Growing up in a christian household conditioned me to thinking heaven and hell are real places and I've been tryna detach myself from that way of thinking so now I'm left with the fear of uncertainty. I don't understand how people can say God is loving and forgiving yet can allow his creation to be condemned to burn for eternity

We need to have a discussion about how good it feels to finally say "I'm gonna kill myself" mentally and the momentary high you get. I was in high school at 6am on my way to the bus finally happy for once

open.spotify.com/track/4DE6Wkt9fW7R5e9gJGWQim?si=gtjFWV92Rv2ae-4H1s5cLQ

The best you can is good enough

I don’t get it. 24 hours ago I was in the corner crying and having cutting fits. After a nap today my whole mood did a 180 and I’m pretty happy currently

Yo Guys,

I wanted to post this here. I'm awake, my heart is racing and I'm feeling like s*** emotionally and I can burst into tears again. Here's the SparkNotes of my situation. My thoughts are scattered because I am currently fighting an anxiety attack, please bear with me.

My mother wasn't a good mom at all, she left when I was 11. I was abused as a child by my father's ex wife. This hampered my ability to make friends and basically deprived me of social skills meaning I couldn't make friends or find a girl. (That's not everything to me but I want companionship and love. I'm only human. I have some friends too now )

My father's ex wife is a Russian and this woman was abusive to me and him and when my father got cancer in 2018, she abandoned him a year later. I was there with him until the day he died in February. I now live in my own

I didn't realize I was being abused until December 2018 when she accused me of something I didn't even do and then tried to get me kicked out of the house.

Now she's no longer a part of my life although she pulled one final blow to me and my father. She took my dog (my child) away from me and she had arrogant justification for it.

I am currently suffering from severe anxiety and PTSD as a result and I have decided to get help. Although I have a support system with family and family friends, I feel so lonely and I've been having crying fits lately. And the way I see, all I see is darkness. Because of this pandemic, I can't do anything about it and it basically is like a punishment.

I have officially hit rock bottom, emotionally, mentally, spiritually.

This is part of the reason why I left KTT for a while.

It doesn't matter after all the abuse you were never really here

I'm sitting here crying thinking I dont want my kids to ever go through this

I want to be denied and rejected in every way. Only way I can truly keep my sense of self

Whats wrong with me?