Been seeing this great woman for few weeks now and everything has been going well. Up until a week ago where she disclosed that she has herpes (Type 1, on your privates), but is continuously taking medication for it and everything. Not going to lie, it’s been on my mind since then and I’m just in a pickle as to whether to continue or end things.

For more context, she has it for about a decade at this point and based on my research, along with the notes she got from a doctor, transmission rates about 1% or less (assuming ALL safeguards are taken).

What are your thoughts? I’m just completely on the fence and I’m not sure where to proceed. Never been in this a situation like this. At the same time I’m just so tired of being alone and not having anyone to be with, since my wife cheated and left me 8 years ago.

Outside of this matter we click together extremely well, she’s been incredibly helpful, and is just someone almost like no other given my nonexistent dating life.

I’d appreciate advice, this been dangling over my head

just use protection and make sure you follow all steps to avoid transmission

it’s more common than you think

If you genuinely like her and can look past it, then just stay safe and regularly tested.

Otherwise, a little more loneliness is worth it for a peace of mind with a future partner

"Type 1 (HSV-1) mostly spreads by oral contact and causes infections in or around the mouth (oral herpes or cold sores). It can also cause genital herpes. Most adults are infected with HSV-1. Type 2 (HSV-2) spreads by sexual contact and causes genital herpes."

Wait, so both types of herpes can result in genital herpes?

Yes.

Doesn't the majority of the world have type 1 herpes?

If both types of herpes can cause genital herpes why isn't genital herpes a lot more common?

Ive been in this situation, meet a girl at a party. Got her number, took her to dinner. Came back to my place, things start going and she tells me she has herpes before we went all the way. I appreciate her for telling me, I felt for her. NEVER SAW HER AGAIN.

It’s pretty much the same chance as fatally dying in a car accident, in terms of transmission rate female to male

now that I been wit a girl who I know is neg on everything plus iud i don't think I could ever go back...

End it off bro don't do it

It depends on how comfortable you are. If the safeguards are taken and there is a little to no risk then I wouldn’t let a stigma prevent you from being with who you enjoy. (I don’t know too much about it, but HIV can be like that) But if you’re an anxious person or you don’t trust that they take the proper precautions then theres nothing wrong with doing what feels right. Maybe ask a doctor about it to get a professional opinion on the risk. She’s a real one for telling you though! Must be a hard situation and I feel for both of you.

there are plenty of medication and safeguards that exist nowadays where its not a problem at all and she already seems to be opened to and already taking the steps - like even hiv is pretty much nothing today too

so if you really want to be with her you can

its not an issue as long as the safeguards are in place, youre fine

Surprised at the maturity in these first posts.

Appreciate her honesty, and overall it seems to be a very minor condition with the worst part being the psychological/social aspect. I’ll have to create a deeper a***ysis for myself and consider it carefully.

I was in a similar position before. Talked to this chick who I really wanted to smash

She disclosed to me she had herpes but took meds for it, and I really appreciated her telling me but I can’t lie and say it didn’t make me hesitant af to go through with . Got really nervous after reading you can still contract it even when wearing protection

We still keep in touch sometimes but I never ended up having s***with her.

But OP it’s ultimately up to you if you feel like this girl is really special and it’s not a deal breaker for you . Good luck fam

Be surprised how common herpes is

U dont always get it from sex.

But the person that has it 99.9% doesnt plan on trying to pass it, so you good money @op

Also science/meds have came so far. HIV used to be a death sentence

brother if you love her you won't care about that

It sounds like she's great. Get over the fear, take the precautions & accept her for who she is.

Make sure the condom isn't as torn as you are

if you've been sexually active in your life, there's a fair chance you're already a carrier of hsv1, symptoms or not. i'd say go for it

We had a long conversation about this yesterday with her and she almost broke down crying, even thinking she got reduced to this. I’ll have to sit with this for several weeks and make a final decision, it’s extremely tough.

Fr, rare life sxn moment

This the kind of energy I expected in here