Infinito

4mo

Her loss release night was so f***ing wild, from the stories that mfer was uploading to ig to the great mix we got on Sound 42 and finally the album being a f***ing banger

Tacos_

4mo

B**** ass snow bunny loving midget woman beater pulitzer prize puppet

Infinito

4mo

Her loss release night was so f***ing wild, from the stories that mfer was uploading to ig to the great mix we got on Sound 42 and finally the album being a f***ing banger

Salaryman

4mo

the hype is completely dead.

and i’m not saying that lightly.

i was doing a presentation about the pitfalls of gambling addiction at my local middle school, and when i put the ICEMAN cover mockup that i made with Grok on the projector, one of the 7th graders raised his hand and said “didn’t that already drop?”

the room went silent.

i said “no, young man. it has not dropped.”

he said “oh. then who cares?”

i had to end the assembly early.

this rollout has officially lost the children.

i went to a retirement home yesterday to volunteer and one of the old heads in the cafeteria was playing dominoes. i said “you excited for ICEMAN?” and he looked me dead in the eyes and said “son, i have buried three wives and waited less time for closure.”

hype is dead.

i was at the DMV and the lady at window 6 asked if i had proof of insurance. i accidentally handed her a screenshot of Drake standing in front of the ice blocks. she stared at it for 30 seconds and said “baby this expired.”

even the government knows.

i went to church for the first time in 8 years and the pastor said “turn to your neighbor and say, he may not come when you want him, but he’s always on time.”

somebody in the back yelled “unless it’s Drake dropping ICEMAN.”

the whole congregation groaned.

hype is dead.

i was at a nonbinary gender reveal party and when the smoke popped rainbow, somebody said “damn, even this had a rollout.”

the father started crying.

not because he was having a non-gender conforming baby.

because he realized a fetus had better promo than Drake.

i was at my nephew’s little league game and the pitcher threw a no-hitter. everybody went crazy. i said “this is exactly how the thread is gonna feel when Drake finally announces the album.”

my nephew said “unc, nobody cares about that s*** anymore. can you buy me Prime?”

he is 9.
hype is dead.

i saw a homeless man outside 7-Eleven holding a sign that said “anything helps.” i gave him $5 and said “stay alert.”

he handed the money back.

i was at a funeral and the priest said “ashes to ashes, dust to dust.”

somebody whispered “ice to water.”

nobody laughed.

that’s how dead the hype is.

i went to a pottery class with my girl and the instructor told us to make something that represents waiting.

i made a tiny frozen owl melting into a puddle of disappointment.

the instructor said “this is really powerful. is it about grief?”

i said “worse. Drake.”

she refunded me.

hype is dead.

i was in line at Chipotle and the guy in front of me asked for double chicken. the worker said “that’ll be extra.”

he said “so is ICEMAN.”

the worker said “nah that s*** free because it’s never coming out.”

they both dap’d each other up.

i dropped my bowl.

i went to a children’s science museum and there was an exhibit about glaciers. the tour guide said “some ice can take thousands of years to move.”

a kid said “like Drake’s album.”

everyone laughed.

i did not.

i felt something leave me.

i was at a job interview and they asked me where i see myself in five years. i said “hopefully listening to ICEMAN.”

the interviewer closed his laptop and said “we’re looking for candidates with realistic goals.”

hype is dead.

i went to a zoo and the polar bear was just sitting there looking depressed. i said “you waiting for ICEMAN too?”

he turned his back to me.

even the animals are finished.

i was at a hibachi restaurant and the chef made the onion volcano. everybody clapped. then he said “this next trick is called the Drake rollout.”

he built suspense for 15 minutes and then did absolutely nothing.

standing ovation.

hype is dead.

i was at urgent care because my chest felt tight from refreshing KTT2 too much. the nurse asked what caused the stress. i said “Drake.”

she said “the beef?”

i said “no, ICEMAN.”

she removed the blood pressure cuff and said “sir, this is self-inflicted.”

i went to a psychic and asked when Drake was dropping.

she put both hands on the crystal ball, started shaking, and said “i see… i see… another OVO affiliate posting vague emojis.”

then the crystal ball cracked.

she told me never to come back.

hype is dead.

i went to a wedding and during the vows the groom said “i promise to love you, honor you, and stay by your side.”

the bride said “like Drake promised May 15?”

the groom had no rebuttal.

marriage annulled before the reception.

hype is dead.

i was at a bank opening a savings account and the guy asked what i was saving for.

i said “mental health treatment after the ICEMAN rollout.”

he upgraded me to premium checking out of pity.

i went to an escape room and the final clue was a frozen briefcase with an owl logo on it. we spent 45 minutes decoding numbers, dates, captions, and random Toronto area codes.

when it opened, there was nothing inside.

the employee said “congratulations, you escaped the rollout.”

i cried in the parking lot.

hype is dead.

i was at an elementary school career day explaining how online communities form around anticipation, parasocial attachment, and collective delusion. i brought up the ICEMAN thread as an example.

a child asked “is that like when the teacher says movie day and then makes us watch a documentary?”

i said “exactly.”

then another kid said “but at least the documentary actually plays.”

class dismissed.

i was at a sushi restaurant and ordered the chef’s special. he brought out an empty plate with one ice cube in the center.

i said “what is this?”

he said “OVOmakase.”

$87.
no refund.

hype is dead.

i was at the mall and a kiosk guy tried to sell me dead sea salt scrub. i said “sorry, i’m saving money for ICEMAN merch.”

he said “bro that album still ain’t out?”

then he walked away from me.

a kiosk guy walked away from me.

do you know how cooked a rollout has to be for a kiosk guy to decide you’re wasting his time?

i was at a magic show and the magician said “for my next trick, i will make something disappear.”

somebody yelled “the ICEMAN hype.”

the magician said “i said trick, not documentary.”

even magicians are doing crowd work on us.

i went to a museum and saw an ancient tablet from Mesopotamia. the translation said:

“the king has promised a winter offering.
the people wait.
the ice does not move.”

i asked the curator if it was about Drake.

he said “we believe it is the earliest known ICEMAN thread.”

hype is dead.

i was at the airport and my flight got delayed. everyone was pissed. the gate agent said “thank you for your patience.”

some guy in an OVO hoodie stood up and said “we are not patient. we are hostages.”

the terminal applauded.

i was at my cousin’s baby shower and they played a game where you guess the due date. i wrote “before ICEMAN.”

everybody laughed because they thought it was a joke.

the baby is now 37 years old.

i was at a police station filing a missing person report.

officer asked “who’s missing?”

i said “the hype.”

he said “when was the last time you saw it?”

i said “around the first ice block.”

he said “yeah, that’s a cold case.”

hype is dead.

i went to a fortune cookie factory. my cookie said “soon.”

i threw up.

hype is dead.

i saw a guy wearing an OVO hoodie at Publix and asked him if he was excited.

he said “for what?”

that hurt more than any Kendrick diss.

i said “ICEMAN.”

he said “oh yeah, that still happening?”

then he bought oat milk and left.

the merch has outlived the mission.

i went home, opened KTT2, and the first post i saw was:

“lowkey i think the silence means we’re close.”

that’s when i knew.

we are not close.

we are not back.

we are not winning.

we are a support group with avatars.

the hype is dead.

bury it under the ice blocks.

Kr0niic

4mo

Loved her loss. Some bangers on that album and still gets replay from me to this day. My favorite drake project of the last decade tbh

HaroldsChicken

4mo

That hentai

Infinito

4mo

Her loss release night was so f***ing wild, from the stories that mfer was uploading to ig to the great mix we got on Sound 42 and finally the album being a f***ing banger

Elemental

4mo

Legendary night

Infinito

4mo

Opening that s*** in a family reunion

HaroldsChicken

4mo

Jim halpert is gone for another day

Won’t God do it

doot doot

4mo

ICEMAN

Elemental

4mo

Legendary night

HaroldsChicken

4mo

Jim halpert is gone for another day

Won’t God do it

Naughty

4mo

Iceman night going to be brazy ep.4 into release

HaroldsChicken

4mo

New account welcome back great divine

HaroldsChicken

4mo

Stock up on weed

asabove

4mo

I have been reading through this for over an hour and getting so much second hand embarrassment from the way some of these people talk https://www.reddit.com/r/KendrickLamar/comments/1cl5uav/think_i_went_to_far_down_the_rabbit_hole_and/

Kendrick fans are the biggest f***ing mass of dweebs in all of hip hop