Feel that. I have the urge after work every day still but I tell myself I can't even consider it until after I finish the s*** that will be productive (working out, cooking, time with my dog, chores etc)

And then when I'm sitting here with all that done at 10pm I'm like nah I guess I don't need it, I feel good. That urge still probably gonna hit me again tomorrow at 5 tho. That's the hard part for me right now.

Gotta take. A break at least soon. Smoked a whole infused pre roll and I didn’t even feel high 😵‍💫

how have you been coping since ?

Doing well! Thanks for checking in I appreciate that.

For sure getting easier every day. The first few are the hardest.

How about you?

of course man! that's great to hear :)) really does get easier everyday and you've made it over the hard part ! amazing
I'm doing really good, it's been a month since I've touched weed or nic :)) I find myself getting happy from small stuff again !! I've finally gotten out of a creative block too.
It's easy to take it for granted though, longer I'm sober - so i think gratitude exercises should keep me in check.
things are looking up for us man ! it only gets better from here

“truth is I wasn’t doing anything to take care of myself outside of smoking“

this s*** just hit so hard for me

i’ve been thinking of a way to word this, but you described it perfectly!

i went from daily smoking to just on weekends, which was all that i aimed for initially.

but last night, after smoking all my weed i took a deep look into the mirror and asked myself what am i doing with my life.

i don’t treat myself. in fact, i tend to destroy myself instead. and weed is my way of coping with that.

but last night i felt like a zombie on weed. i realized i completely disconnect for a few hours when i smoke. i don’t check my phone, i just listen to music, play games and forget the world around me. i legit don’t even feel human…

anyways sorry for the rant, your message just hit really close to home for me

this s*** a blessing and a curse

You're a treasure sekky never let yourself or anyone make you feel differently.

I've been reading a few self-help books and books on finding joy (as well as books in general shoutout novels lol) and I realize how much I've been overlooking lately.

For instance my relationship with my older brothers has always been good, but we were never really friends if that makes sense? In this one week I've already made plans with both and I plan on opening up in a way my family never has. Even if it's small steps. None of us are equipped for this tbh but we're grown and I think it'll be less an uphill battle than I expect.

One's still a huge stoner but I don't think he uses it to escape like I do. It's gonna be weird to say no when he offers but I'm confident I'll be able to. It'll also be the catalyst to that opening up, which makes things a bit easier.

You're truly right man. Things are getting better by the day. The more honest I can be with myself, the more honest my relationships with others are becoming too.

It would be one thing I didn't feel much better but the immediate positive effects I'm feeling let me know I'm heading in the right direction.

2 weeks without smoking, im getting the itch but I’m still holding out. My mind feels so clear and I just feel better in general, it feels good to be offered and say no as well. There’d be times where I didnt want to be high but said yes anyways if someone asked to smoke.

don't apologise ! you gotta tell somebody brother
it took me a long time to realise that was the issue - I'm glad I could be the catalyst for you.
do you feel like you have self destructive tendencies when you aren't smoking weed? like does the idea of taking a break worry you at all?

:,*)) that hit different - ditto to you man. damn that made my day actually haha

oo !! what novels you reading? I've finally started reading crime and punishment (I've never had the patience till now yay) and it's really f***ing good tho pretty intense

It's strange to think that there's been whole living humans in yr immediate vicinity that love you so godamn much and you've almost let yrself forgo that love for so long. I wonder why that is.
I ask cus I'm in the same boat - I live w a loving family that I'm only now starting to talk to now too

have u picked up meditation?

"The more honest I can be with myself, the more honest my relationships with others are becoming too."

s*** that's so real and a great way to put it

honestly as someone whos smoked pretty heavily since like age 16 and is now 20 im thinking about quitting soon as well for the last 6 months - year, smoking has been russian roulette for me in terms of getting really bad anxiety and bad thoughts

which is profoundly sad because i love weed, but now its just at the point with me where its usually a negative experience more often than a goood one

in addition i cannot function when high at all, or be productive at least, as soon as im above like a 4/10 high anything productive that needs to be done isn't getting done

only smoke on wednesdays at 4 20, that's what i do.

tbh my goal eventually is just not to smoke or hit carts at all and just eventually become a 5mg gummy to sleep old guy

maybe toke up with my son when hes that age

When you past 65 you earned the right to do as much d**** as you want.

Don't miss out on the enlightenment experience you got from weed. smoke every wednesday and third friday. A shaman once told me. it leaves in plenty of time to get your chores done.

appreciate it fam. and yes, unfortunately i do. i’m thinking of taking a break right now. i’ve went weeks/months without smoking before and my mind was a lot more clear when i did. but with everything going on in my life i‘m not sure i’m strong enough for a break right now. feel like i need these hours of being zoned out for me not to snap in reality. idk. all i know is that i didn’t feel good last time i smoked and for me that is the first step to taking a break/quitting again

Vaping nicotine has probably for the worst helped me cut down on smoking weed

For some reason I less desire to smoke blunts now and tend to just hit the nicotine vape all day and smoke just a couple bowls spaced through the day

Pros: Instead of going through an ounce in 2 weeks to myself it last over a month now, more on edge (good and bad) but I feel i can get more done

Cons: really has f***ed up my appetite as someone already skinny enough, don’t think enough oxygen is circulating and I’m more anxious

I love smoking but I can definitely see how it makes you push your problems away and basically become a zombie, so props to you for having the awareness to better yourself and cutting back as you can bc I know it’s not easy.

I've been going through Emily St John Mandel's books! Station Eleven first, then Glass Hotel and now Sea of Tranquility.

The way she writes people and the hyper-specificity of their lives has made me fall in love with reading again.

I've also never read Crime and Punishment! Gotta add it to my list.

As for the other stuff, honestly I think I segmented my family from my life. I placed them in different brackets because I just always assumed it would be this way and that's how it was. So I tried to focus on external ways to make me feel supported in the way you're supposed to with your family, when really that could have been my base to then add on top of.

I just woke up so maybe this one makes a bit less sense but I think we got there.

I haven't picked up meditation yet but I plan to. Trying to solidify all these better habits before I pick up more. Don't wanna overload myself and then crash because isn't manageable anymore.

Gonna stop smoking s*** making me think too much and making me paranoid, becoming my own worst enemy and ruining realationships. threw away a roach yesterday and gave a blunt to my neighbor i rolled up a couple days ago

back in the vice loop

but we gonna keep lingering for less time each time, i can always do better than before at the very least

smoke weed everyday