for some time now i been worried about becoming more of a social person, adapting my behavioral patterns and personality traits in order to have an easier time connecting with people. in this pursuit i have found myself feeling uncomfortable about the fact im bending who i really am and trying to take on a persona i truly dont know how to operate in.

i retracted my view on the need to become a more talkative and outgoing person and realized that i value my authenticity more than my social success

once that mentality fully implemented itself in my mind, a lot of the s*** i used to worry about stopped mattering.

when im in a social setting, i honestly do not bother to initiate conversation or say anything at all, if i dont truly feel like it.
funnily enough, i think it has helped me immensely with my social presence. i do not mind when nothing is being said, i can sit somewhere in a room full of people and not say a word. thats me and it is what it is. subsequently, that makes every occasion in which i do decide to speak so much more worthwhile. i only speak when i am genuinely interested, it increases the quality of what i have to say tremendously. my presence is worth something, my words are worth something and theres nothing wrong with me being sparse with them.

if my behavior, attitude and mentality prevents me from lucrative opportunities and connections that could further my life, then so be it. if that is my path then that is my path. i refuse to diminish my true being for the sake of anything. i choose to be an introverted, quiet dude because thats just who i am and will probably continue to be.

i believe it will be easier to start loving myself if i own up to my true characteristics instead of chasing a version of me i simply am not supposed to be.

jus wanted to vent and document this.

silence slaps
if your words don't improve upon silence...well...
that's my view anyway

good job learning to love who you are creasy <3

ty so much plants

I felt like this the other day. I was at a gathering and I just zoned out and enjoyed the vibes. I had nothing to say and I didn’t feel like faking it. I admire your authenticity.

I like this

Silence shows confidence in yourself as well
A person who always feels the need to keep a conversation going or else it would be awkward is usually an insecure person

Using silence & pauses in convos very important communicational skill

you know you are good with a person when yall can hangout in silence

I agree but like the people i don't talk to at all don't

have had many people say they feel like I don't like them or that I am judging them

are these people that genuinely know you? this sounds like a conclusion theyd get to under the circumstances of not truly knowing that thats how you wired. its easy to mistake quiet and reclusive energy for not having interest if you are speaking in general terms and have no knowledge or assumption of the person.
otherwise, if you know that thats jus how you are, rather quiet, then you wouldnt take it that way, you wouldnt take offense to that. youd just understand that its the way you operate and not take it personal at all.

its a them problem if you ask me, if thats the case. they are making assumptions based on a general view on you that doesnt include who you actually are, if that makes sense.

no they aren't but I don't get to know a ton of people because I'm too quiet

i am mad it took me so long to realize this. there were times with my ex where i felt bad about not being able to talk about something and tried forcing conversation when it wouldve been better just shutting up. but oh well, we move.

that is a good point. being quiet youre not going to make a lot of new friends outside of the circle of work/school or whatever unless they initiate contact and get you involved in the conversation.

but i do believe that if you see somebody you are hugely interested in however that you will make an effort to step out your comfort zone to initiate and spark conversation. youll have to if you really want it.

youll be alright bro i believe in you. just continue living and if you see an opportunity, make the best of it.

I get you op some people who always have to say something often come over as insecure to me tbh.

Yeah but comfortable silence =/ camraderie

Need some people in my life who i otherwise am loyal to dearly to realize this

if you’re afraid of silence, you’re not truly comfortable with yourself imo. I hate small talk, but I still engage for the hell of it. mfs just don’t know when to shut up though.

might be some truth to this. i hate when niggas think keeping up a constant conversation is the thing to do. i hate friendly ass niggas

quiet minds always think the loudest fam i feel u 🗣💯

jordan terrell carter is this u?

100%

A lotta quiet people just b anxious though. I used to be. But yeah I feel the same I don’t force convos.