It’s kinda feels like when I have white friends, there’s so much stuff in my life I can’t talk about with them without a certain wall being there esp fo heteronormativity and even with the most progressive ones ur relationships r still seen as “gay” rather than just regular default, and talking ab s***is still more restricted.

There’s some that r chill but im starting to realize that I just like being around queer people more and it sucks because I have a lot of great funny straight friends but I kinda can’t fully be myself around them and it’s frustrating

Then u sound rly rly woke and annoying when u try to point that stuff out. But also like, if ur not in a big city finding a queer circle that also is into less queer spaces like hip hop and such is so hard I feel even tho I feel more comfortable around them that aspect of me coming from like the streets makes me sort of an alien to ppl sometimes in those spaces esp cuz I talk w the slang of where I come from. They feel at times like they are made for white academics

it does still come up where ppl get uncomfortable around me because I have that aspect of being Arab and from streets cuz they automatically go on the defense lol and I can clearly tell or they get more cagey around me cuz big masc Arab man (esp when I had beard) = danger to them

vs like the guy I’m seeing rn where I can tell he’s been able to be fem presenting around women as a member of a community his whole life I feel kinda jealous lowk cuz I didn’t feel safe enough to even get to that point till now, while he grew up around ppl of his colour as a twink in a city, makes me get a lot of imposter syndrome esp cuz other Arabs treat u esp weird ab it, as u become less masc and more open w ur sexuality (as i have). I am thankful though for black queer spaces cuz that feels like the only ppl that won’t have an issue with that duality lol, everywhere else feels so beholden to whiteness

People I be around don’t care about that kind of stuff. How much do you talk about s***with your friends?

That’s why you just have different friend groups for different things

I have my women friends

My hypermasculine homies

My gay homies

My nerd friends

My movie friends

My parent friends

My coworker friends

Those are all different friends groups who have nothing to do with each other but they all keep me balanced

It’s not just sex. It’s relationships, troubles with family, the art I connect with, the issues I care about, it’s a big part of my identity whether I like it or not and u would be surprised how much it comes up. Even you centering it around s***is an example of one of the subtle issues I run into lol.

I feel that

yea I have that, but I’m not rly a fan of hiding parts of myself for dif people, and I like having places where I’m like these are MY people and I feel like that’s esp been harder to find due to the duality of my queer experience and also my ethnic and economic background. I still deal with imposter syndrome to an extent after years of not really feeling like I belonged as a member of a group for so long

I’m straight and this was funny (didn’t read OP)

That’s kinda mean man im being p genuine rn

fairs. I’m reading it now gang

that sounds tough as hell man im sorry
got no other comments or advice or anything rly. im goin thru my own s*** feel super isolated, its the end of an era/start of a new one for me right now. i hope we both see better days ASAPPP

Damn, sorry about that. Looks like you’re caught in between places. Maybe try to communicate with your straight friends without the fear of thinking you’re being too woke? Idk. Me and the homies can agree and disagree for hours for the sake of conversation and digging deep into many life realities

what city you in?

in the club with ya gay friends
always put you on a straight flight
you ysl like buy me some
im ysl like a snakebite

u can just do s***

Nah I feel you. Feels like as men we’re truly left to deal with our problems on our own. In my experience, women have a much stronger support system among friends. Be safe out there

just go to a gay club or hop on grindr

Just go on tik tok honestly. One of those gay creators definitely has a discord, then go from there.

posh, eventbrite, cafes, community newsletters, and Dungeons and Dragons meet ups (for some reason)

nah I"m joking with the last one but there are literally apps that are made for this kind of stuff @op

honestly dude, I'd just find some event or smth and try to meet people

@op i've had to deal with this a lot (even on this site!) and i can tell you there are definitely a lot of queer folks who are down to talk to you about halo or whatever, just put yourself out there and keep trying even if it doesn't work out the first couple times

that being said, i haven't had a ton of luck finding queer community on ktt2.com . seems like all of the people on here are a little defensive (which comes with the territory of being gay on a forum) so I wouldn't take it personally

I can't give too much advice since I'm straight, but I do have a few gay and lesbian friends, some ive known since middle school and they usually consider me "one of the good ones" (non derogatory lmao) of a "straight" - so seems like ur not alone when it comes to genuine consistent straight friends if a "good one" isnt common

My only advice thing is that maybe narrow your circle down, you don't have to try to be friends with literally everyone (although still be cordial and friendly ofc) - and narrowing down will not only naturally increase bonding, consistency and whatnot and comfortability, but also you don't have to try to "please" so many different people

I know and are cool without a lot of ppl irl but there's only like 3 people I trust as like my family member, a "2nd tier" I like a lot and hang with a lot that are like 5 to 6 other people, a "3rd" tier that are like 8 people I am cool with but I wont see as often etc. and then beyond that youre either an acquaintance or stranger that i see you when i see you - "tier" 1 and 2 is the ppl you really want and your "home base". It doesn't even have to be as many as I've said, just a few people goes a long way. In real life friends speaking.

Idk if this is helpful but just my two cents of someone that don't know your position @op

Its tough finding your people

Oh ya I’m talking about my real life experience lol like actual real life community I can find ts on the internet fs
That’s so real thi

The issue isn’t rly finding gay people per se

Real