recently realized that this song is among my three most played tracks of the decade... I can't even count how many times I've played this one late at night, drunk as hell and lost in the grip of existential loneliness

over the past few years I've lost almost every spark of faith in life and the concept of romantic love in particular... I've come to see how incompatible I am with the very idea of such a connection... I'm constantly torn between bleak nihilism and a romanticized idea of attachment and dependency, forever oscillating, never arriving at any satisfying conclusion, let alone a compromise that truly works for me

no song captures that feeling quite like posing in bondage... I love this album but this one has lingered in my head since my first listen... in my mind, I like to think of it as a loose adaptation of pta's phantom thread like the eternal struggle for a meaningful relationship and the price you are willing to pay for it, the golden cage shimmering somewhere between ecstasy and nightmare and the age old question: how compatible can two individuals ever truly be? it's a song about the quiet agony of love and loneliness where closeness feels like disruption or bondage and solitude feels unbearable

this song is the epitome of the old can't-do-with-and-can't-do-without and the answer is... that there is no answer. the entire soundscape itself feels so distant and almost clinical in its restraint, it's like it's just a cold narration of an inescapable truth

when the world divides into two people
those who have felt pain
and those who have yet to

this is the epitome of nihilism and it cuts painfully deep... there's no way out without hurt... there will be no happy ending here. this is it.

my life is a mess

9:30am

thread flopped