TheInstigator

3mo

So when it comes to womens dating issues like dealing with emotionally unavailable or non committal men, men who turn out to be abusive, or men who just want s***and disguise their intentions, you're telling me to feel bad about all of that and that men need to change to address their problems but if men have self confidence issues because they are unable to initiate things / attract women which is clearly a problem in general considering male suicide rates are far higher than that of women, then you dont give a f*** and they just need to be better?

I never said that women need to do anything different or to feel bad about this reality for a lot of men, but also this reality is why men are the way they are. The focus of dating for men becomes using the mental energy to initiate with women and plan the dates rather than properly a***yzing if that woman is right for them. Literally all women do is a***yze their date because they're not expected to do anything else. So, if I'm not supposed to feel bad for men that can't initiate or aren't confident enough to attract a woman or can't pick the right woman for them because they're too caught up in all the superficial dating bullshit that women expect them to play, then I'm not going to feel bad for women for picking s***ty men over good men especially when they have plenty of men approaching them all the time.

Also, talking stages are bullshit. 80% of marriages end in divorce. I can promise you that isn't because those couples didn't talk properly in the beginning. And often times, women are more impressed by men doing the superficial dating things (holding doors, getting flowers/gifts, planning the dates, taking the romantic initiatives, all overall meaningless bullshit that really just means the man has a ton of experience with women and so may not be very loyal or committed to that woman) than they are in actually seeing if they enjoy the company of that man and feel safe with him. Again, I've been with women that I thought I had great convos with and I never saw them again and I've been with women where I said a grand total of like 10 things to them on a date and we hooked up afterwords and they would start saying all this sweet bullshit about how I make them feel safe and comfortable even though we have literally nothing in common.

Again, I just hear a bunch of blaming men in your post when women are just as much to blame in all of this. I don't feel bad for women because I know end of the day they can just go out in public and a number of men will hit on em and they can start over with ease if they get f***ed over. If a man gets f***ed over, that's a big confidence hit and they have to find that self will all over again to start over because nobody is going to hit on them.

Also, both men and women do care alot about looks. Women are just socially conditioned to prioritize financial security, career, education, and confidence over looks and thats how media, parenting, gender roles, etc. has always conditioned them to look at who the "ideal" man for them is. That doesn't mean women aren't just as visual minded as men are. Women just end up deluding themselves on it far more and that's why they often end up losing interest in the bedroom post marriage. Men are socially conditioned to prioritize looks over everything and I agree that is a s*** thing to look at for anything beyond hooking up. But I can say without a doubt that when I date women who are well educated and have good careers and look good, they generally are pretty entitled and want someone better than them in all those areas.

Ultimately, communication would solve most things I agree. But the truth is that there is a clearly unequal dynamic in how men and women are expected to behave when dating and while there is plenty of understanding at the things women have to go through, there is absolutely none with the things men have to go through and why they act the way they act and that's really just made things harder for them because they now have to navigate this modern era of dating which essentially requires them to still be chivalrous and "traditional" yet expected to be just as a***ytical as women are in dating when nothing about the dating experience gives them the same advantages.

allmygirlsdoyoga

3mo

What y’all want this site to be:

vayla

3mo

@insertcoolnamehere @Knx your crib

Malcolm

3mo

All that for saying this thread is stupid? Y'all need to get off the internet and take of care of actual issues in ur life.

Zezima

3mo

My mom is an exception through and through. Not enough like her in the world unfortunately.

SonyATV

3mo

Most of “men’s rights” issues and men’s issues in general are the fault of men

Stabane101

3mo

I'm in SA and that s*** doesn't translate well here.
Dudes here are to a degree are already toxic and antiwomen here.

mollygatrr

3mo

this aint twitter nobody gonna give u some pity p**** for saying men suck big time so stop pandering lil bro

Plight

3mo

Women are manipulative and more abusive than men

Plight

3mo

Women want the princess treatment!

Huge Castillo Fan

3mo

What part of SA you in? I'm in Cape Town

Stabane101

3mo

dawg I'm in Durban

SonOfNkrumah

3mo

I miss Pretoria. Best 3 years of my life

Odeon2024

3mo

The main thing about being a man, is that you dont need to let Jordan peterson, andrew tate or a random woman determine your personality, you just are and have a good time, in this short time that you're in your prime. F*** everyone, its your life.

Hbomax

3mo

Lonely men face a two pronged attack: on one side from men looking to monetize their loneliness by turning it into hatred, and the other from lonely women trying to get internet points by framing their fellow women as innocent, perfect beings.

Being masculine in the 21st century is challenging, as there are plenty of distractions like social media and video games that hold you back from doing something tangible, and there really isn’t all that much to do in the first place.

My advice to lonely men is to ignore both parties, get offline, join a community, and find hobbies. A common suggestion is going to the gym, but it can be anything you’re passionate about!!

Stabane101

3mo

But can't I just see what it is

TheInstigator

3mo

Communities can be fun in terms of you getting to do things you enjoy but it's not going to get you friends if you're not able to socialize or have a charismatic aura around you. I've been going to the gym for half my life and I have never made a friend there. I've also occasionally gone to social meet ups and at best I end up making one guy friend sometimes there but we don't become tight or anything.

End of the day, lonely men gotta learn social skills but if they've gone to their 20s and are still lonely, its next to impossible to truly change your socializing abilities.

Hbomax

3mo

The gym isn’t a good place to meet friends, or at least most gyms aren’t. Social meets tend to consist of dweebs. I’d recommend hanging out at bars with your type of people at them, looking at local clubs centered around one of your interests (im drunk rn i mean social clubs not strip or clubs the noun), and events centered around your interests.