was just randomly remembering this, the website for this is still online lol. for $50,000 (but "ladies only") you can hire actor/director/musician and potential nazi Vincent Gallo as an escort, for a milli u can literally have his child.

I'm still wondering if his whole persona is performance art, if there's any self-awareness there at all or if he's just genuinely such a narcissist prick lmao. the description (copied below) reads as complete parody - but then again Claire Denis allegedly got the idea for High Life (2018) with Gallo in mind, quoted as saying "You're so selfish and such a pain in the ass, that the only script I could write for you is alone in space, so the film will be only about you." (eventual film also prominently featuring semen)

It's definitely fascinating how such a sensitive and magnetic actor, especially in Claire Denis films and creative director himself w Buffalo '66, who mostly seems empathetic enough, also has this completely unhinged macho side to himself. tbh it doesn't even rly make any sense, but maybe he's just a man of contradictions who's seemingly gone off the deep end in recent years.

I nonetheless think there's a case to separate artist from artwork to a degree.. his films are definitely worth seeing, even if with some critical distance maybe. and apart from always featuring interesting music in his movies he's also a pretty cool musician himself (released a very beautiful album on Warp). a complete weirdo but talented no doubt.

full item description for "Vincent Gallo's semen" for your entertainment:

"Price includes all costs related to one attempt at an in-vitro fertilization. (A $50,000 value) If the first attempt at in vitro fertilization is unsuccessful, purchaser of sperm must pay all medical costs related to additional attempts. Mr. Gallo will supply sperm for as many attempts as it takes to complete a successful fertilization and successful delivery. Sperm is 100% guaranteed to be donated by Mr. Gallo who is d***, alcohol and disease free. If the purchaser of the sperm chooses the option of natural insemination, there is an additional charge of $500,000. However, if after being presented detailed photographs of the purchaser, Mr. Gallo may be willing to waive the natural insemination fee and charge only for the sperm itself. Those of you who have found this merchandise page are very well aware of Mr. Gallo's multiple talents, but to add further insight into the value of Mr. Gallo's sperm, aside from being multi talented in all creative fields, he was also multi talented as an athlete, winning several awards for performing in the games of baseball, football and hockey and making it to the professional level of grand prix motorcycle racing. Mr. Gallo is 5'11" and has blue eyes. There are no known genetic deformities in his ancestry (no cripples) and no history of congenital diseases. If you have seen The Brown Bunny, you know the potential size of the genitals if it's a boy. (8 inches if he's like his father.) I don't know exactly how a well hung father can enhance the physical makeup of a female baby, but it can't hurt. Mr. Gallo also presently maintains a distinctively full head of hair and at the age of 43 has surprisingly few gray hairs. Though his features are sharp and extreme, they would probably blend well with a softer, more subtly featured female. Mr. Gallo maintains the right to refuse sale of his sperm to those of extremely dark complexions. Though a fan of Franco Harris, Derek Jeter, Lenny Kravitz and Lena Horne, Mr. Gallo does not want to be part of that type of integration. In fact, for the next 30 days, he is offering a $50,000 discount to any potential female purchaser who can prove she has naturally blonde hair and blue eyes. Anyone who can prove a direct family link to any of the German soldiers of the mid-century will also receive this discount. Under the laws of the Jewish faith, a Jewish mother would qualify a baby to be deemed a member of the Jewish religion. This would be added incentive for Mr. Gallo to sell his sperm to a Jew mother, his reasoning being with the slim chance that his child moved into the profession of motion picture acting or became a musical performer, this connection to the Jewish faith would guarantee his offspring a better chance at good reviews and maybe even a prize at the Sundance Film Festival or an Oscar. To be clear, the purchase of Mr. Gallo's sperm does not include the use of the name Gallo. The purchaser must find another surname for the child."

This man is an actual menace.

Getting sucked off on camera wasn't enough, so he's gotta resort to this?

Who wants a kid with bad vibes?

"If you have seen The Brown Bunny, you know the potential size of the genitals if it's a boy. (8 inches if he's like his father.)"

Bro, f*** this guy

"Under the laws of the Jewish faith, a Jewish mother would qualify a baby to be deemed a member of the Jewish religion. This would be added incentive for Mr. Gallo to sell his sperm to a Jew mother, his reasoning being with the slim chance that his child moved into the profession of motion picture acting or became a musical performer, this connection to the Jewish faith would guarantee his offspring a better chance at good reviews and maybe even a prize at the Sundance Film Festival or an Oscar"

?????????

the bit before that is even worse tbh I actually hadn't even read the whole thing myself again literally insane ppl talk. he might just be a straight up nazi I rly dunno how u could put this on your own website ironically

I've heard of vanity projects, but I've never read through a vanity announcement before. Also:

"Though his features are sharp and extreme, they would probably blend well with a softer, more subtly featured female. Mr. Gallo maintains the right to refuse sale of his sperm to those of extremely dark complexions"

He's mostly performance art but at the end of it all is a misogynistic racist who gets off on scaring women, deliberately seeks out young women without father figures, plays up this 'I'm so ugly' self-pity act despite being the exact kind of h**** bug-eyed vampire that gets reliably laid, his whole thing is pretending very hard to be exactly who he is

I think getting a b****** from Chloe Sevigny (Harmony Korine's ex) on camera can act as a critique of p***ography, but this is a very vindictive and hateful man we're talking about, let's not pretend he wasn't doing it in part because he hates Korine's guts

His two (available) directed features are good, but not that good, and certainly don't represent a new paradigm of American cinema like he insists, he's an extremely aggressively confident person, who, to his credit, has essentially willed himself into this 'lost cancelled auteur' role through sheer repetition of his own myth

He's very much a self-made man and a compelling figure with a bizarrely eventful life, but his words and public persona will outlast his work

this thread was inspired by digging through John Frusciante's discography and finding out half the Brown Bunny soundtrack were original songs he contributed. rly beautiful stuff

Truly disturbing narcissistic s***

its not a shtick, bro was the original alt-righter in many ways. dude was out here in 2002 trying to convince people that joining the GOP was "cool" and "punk rock". Brown Bunny was hot garbage.

also I dont even think dude is that good of an actor, s*** like Arizona Dream is more of an outlier than anything.

Nah this is crazy
@DELON

i love that idiot so much
he went retar*ed on instagram a few days ago since he met trump for the first time

really good tracks by john
although none of them were in the film iirc

goes even further, he was a strong reaganite as a no-wave/punk rocker in 80s NYC

goat

GOAT

Also incredibly early

yh the fact he was part of the whole no wave cinema scene and art circle around Basquiat is pretty wild, he's one of the few ppl to appear both in the Downtown '81 film and Basquiat biopic

he was even around for when hip-hop started getting proper traction in the 80s
allegedly he introduced rick rubin to russell simmons too

even black chicks is insane

kinda wanna kms knowing frusciante did a soundtrack for this guy

story behind this pic still smokes me

I wonder if anyone has ever took him up on this offer