Serious thread!

Curious to source some opinions & perspective from guys on what they perceive to be their role in maintaining a relationship (LTR, situationship, FWB, etc.)

What’s the division of labor, percentage wise?

And what’s your opinion on sustaining attraction, value, & managing conflict?

Any ladies can hop in, but answer the questions in regards to your own share of the pie…

My own two cents:

It’s 80%-90% in maintaining the infrastructure of the union.

Not “fair” but is what it is.

Dudes have their work cut out for them…

Theres no one archetype, it depends on the dynamic of your relationship

and ppl going into these relationships with these preconceived notions and very black and white beliefs about what a relationship should look like is why they end up failing

Relationships are built one day at a time, and evolve and change as you evolve and change, and roles and responsibilities shift depending on specific needs at that specific time

To hunt the elk and build the tree hut

do push ups and and play fortnite

find your right match and you won't even have to think about this. it will happen naturally.

Allocating a percentage is nonsensical. Every relationship is different. Your job is to support your partner by taking care of your joint and individual responsibilities. There may be some implied responsibilities due to gender norms but at the end of the day you are to nurture your relationship by doing your job consistently

To put up your shield and sword and defend her against any adversity

Cheat

Make a sandwich or stay single!

100% putting food on the table. Her, 100% putting literal food on the table

dog whistle ass thread

you using KPIs to track your woman

people with healthy relationships don't look at s*** from this lens at all. this is a childish, immature framing.

a person's capacity changes daily depending on a million variables.

A partner who complements you will hone in on their strengths as encouragement to accentuate yours, and help the two of you work on your weaknesses without resentment

Whatever The Podcaster says

Hunt and gather.

Whatever is agreed upon, but by defacto gender norms when that isn’t established though

I’m single…

picking awful movies to watch together

being the last to sleep

refilling their water bottle

The percentage was just to “ground” the question, which is asking about mostly intangible attributes.

I personally believe the guy has a bulk of the work in maintaining the relationship. I’m hesitant to say someone has to “lose” but women have to sacrifice a bit more upfront (attention, fertility, other options) so the guy has to be worth it, imo. So, in that case, the guy has to be the emotional leader.

Almost like raising a kid (not comparing women to children). And sometimes you have to almost engineer difficult situations at times for their own good.

I agree with your post, but most of that is the obvious stuff that we do to keep the ship afloat. You ever try stress testing your relationship on purpose?

What are those in your opinion?

I’m assuming you’d agree that the guy has to lead?

Does your leadership involve falling back on these norms? Or you do your own thing, how you feel like doing it?

this answer is unglamorous and unexciting but it's probably the most accurate.

that's the issue with heterosexual relationships sometimes is that people go in with a set sort of expectations for the opposite gender. men should do this and women should do that when in reality if we looked at it like a partnership and not gendered, things would feel more organic.

we all have our strengths and weaknesses. In my last relationship, doing the dishes was a simple and easy task that I did gladly whether it was my turn to cook or hers. conversely, I HATED cleaning the bathroom so every week when we'd clean, she did the bathroom and bedroom and I did the living room and the kitchen.

Deconstructing ideas that are accepted as givens in order to potentially gain a deeper understanding & appreciation of their purpose & value is immature.

I hope you can meaningfully contribute to this thread at some point…