Anyone have a crisis of self everytime they take an effort to change?

Like the interests i pursue, the hobbies i try, anything, is just me being fake? I feel like km just a tourist in these things. And its messing with my mental idk. I dont know the real me, and i want to find out who he is, but everything i do i feel like im staring at myself with contempt.

I dont want to be a go with the flow ass person. Idk man.

Inna lillahi wa inna ilayhi raji'un

Wishing you well friend. Your post has not fallen on deaf ears, I will cherish the day today and put it to good use

Idk, bored this weekend at home cause im sick

Finessed getting Giannis in the Lakers while I keep Bron & AD MyCareer 2K20 so I'mma kill boredom that way

Got to try things to know what you like

What do you mean by staring at yourself in contempt?

The only con about being alone living in the city is you dont know how lonely you are till ur vibin w someone ur doing business w.

But the road to success is a very lonely one..

i be havin so little social interaction it feel like a challenge

Maybe cause you’re mixing growth and change in a way they shouldn’t be

Pursuing new things in life in an effort to run away from something else kinda taints your motive on arrival and all the new things you’re trying will get wrapped up in it.

Identity issues can come from a lot of places so maybe focus on that and figure that out then work your way up from there. It sucks cause you wnna get into new s*** immediately and live life to the fullest but you need a strong foundation mentally to do so.

Wish you the best. I’ve lived most of my life in a dissociative state up until much recently and learning to be a person again let alone my own man has been an interesting trip. Lean into it and ask yourself the hard questions dont run away

Idk man like i guess i feel like both an outsider and a gatekeeper

Im trying new things but in the back of my mind im telling myself im not good enough and im just looking for things to fill a hole. But i dont. I want to truly enjoy the things Im doing, and I have, but sometimes i just get down on myself

Explain a little more please

I can respect that first sentence. Ill do some self reflection, but that may be a part of the reason.

I ought to respect the things im doing instead of treating it as an escape. Thank you for that perspective

So i just read 15 pgs of this book i got for school and im like ??? But im not worried i got this

yo im drunk n high af

about to go to my first concert since the pandemic started

What’s more valuable intellect or knowledge or are they one in the same? Does dialectic indicate intelligence and why do people weaponize it against people to make them internalize the thought of being unintelligent

You know the kinda guy who does nothing but bad things and then wonders why his life sucks? Well, that was me. Every time something good happened to me, something bad was always waiting around the corner. Karma. That's when I realized I had to change. So I made a list of everything bad I've ever done, and one by one I'm gonna make up for all my mistakes. I'm just trying to be a better person. My name is Earl.

I choose life.

All my feels