idk, i guess it's the best word i could think of. like, i'm shy about letting people know the real me.

i'm kind of bookish and quirky if you get to know me and i grew up looking pretty ugly but i got in shape and puberty hit me like a truck and now i'm pretty hot, but i'm still nerdy and eccentric so i don't live up to how people think i am based on my appearance. so i just really keep everyone at arm's length so i don't ruin their expectations of who they think i am.

i don't mean to be vain either, but i've literally gone into stores and had cashiers honestly scream because of how hot they thought i was. they were good looking too. it made me mad insecure bc i'm just tryna buy some f***ing pants haha. i've even gotten jobs due to my looks. none of this is to brag, it's to say that having to live up to all these stupid expectations because of a genetic dice roll gone well is exhausting, so i don't let a lot of people in as a result.

Kanye reference