Just been on mind recently.

I fully believe parents catch mostly all the flak for kids they raised turning out to be s*** heads, but more I think about it I feel like there has to be an age, 16/17/18 idk just throwing out numbers, where the onus at least partially has to shift to the kids on not being aware of their f***ery.

Just some thoughts idk.

Just looking for a broad discussion on what "good parenting" actually looks like cause it gets talked about a ton, but everyone's idea of that differs.

like I feel like people think parents are supposed to sit you down and give you a crash course on morals, relationships, everything under the sun, but that just simply doesn't happen in most households.

all i will say is that parents who don't appropriately discipline their toddlers/very young children because they "wanna be their friend" are shooting themselves in both feet. i think that's where a huge amount of damage is done to these kids, basically by neglect, causing them to have zero boundaries. and then you got the whole "inclusion" bullshit in school where no child gets left behind which means no child can get ahead. you got illiterate high schoolers failing upward with zero consequences trying to enter a job market at the decline of society and its like, ya we are so fckn cooked bruv

at the end of the day its all a symptom

There's a slight "pass" on people 18-21 getting into light kinda trouble, nothing heinous. That's when people will still give the parents flak on some "You didn't get them ready for life from home that well!" kinda s***. It's often in these kinda moments when people 18-21 get some form of a reality check and that their parents can't bail them out every time.

I'd say that once they get to 23 then it's really them on their own when they f*** up. You're still young, but you definitely should have enough sense by then or some form of grounding.

I'd also say that unfortunately race does also play a factor into all of this as well. "Jerome get more time than Brandon" in the case of something like petty d*** sale, d*** possession, assault, etc at the ages of 18-21. Let's not forget someone like Brock Turner when he was 19, a six months in jail, out in three on good behavior, ass slap on the wrist. We all know a Black man at 18 is getting locked the f*** up for some time in that same scenario.

shifting the blame to astrology >>>>>

for sure.

I'm speaking more on a level of not necessarily being gotten out of things by a parent and when a kid really takes on life themselves, but at what age, if any, is the excuse of "ah he was raised by s*** parents, look at the household" no longer hold 100% true?

like if a kids 19 and a complete s*** head STILL, after years of schooling and socializing, being aware of right and wrong behavior, does the "ah bad parenting" excuse no longer carry? can it just be dude your a 19 year old piece of s***, figure it out, without trying to look at the underlying reasons.

I mean s*** on the note of it being race related, we have definitely seen that it's been Black boys at only 12-14 get treated like grown ass scum of the earth when it's been police officers shooting and killing them over nothing. And I've seen the parents get blamed even though it wasn't their fault or their child's.

The parent/child blame thing can get nasty sometimes.

absolutely.

goes to the other end of the spectrum too, lots of parents seemingly too overbearing, and disrupt/stunt what should be normal social growth of kids because they are being helicopter parents you could sat

Shifting it to religion >>>

idk dawg, does "blame" really matter? if your kid turns out to be a murderer it ain't like you also go to jail. sounds like you have some sort of existential fear of being judged someday as a bad parent.

The blame never shifts it just stacks

I guess it's a case by case basis. But I will say if a person ends up like an a****** despite being raised in a pretty good home, with other people vouching for the parents, then it'll definitely be on the kid.

I'll tell you this though, some parents are good at making a name/rep for themselves within their community that even when they are responsible for how their kid turned out they're still able to escape blame from it.

not at all why would you look at it that way?

I just have the thought that certain kids use it as too much of a crutch or excuse to cover their flaws.

"ah its because I had bad/unloving/mean parents, that's why I am acting this way" when in reality their old enough to both recognize that, and act on that and change their actions/ways

maybe they actually had bad parents. idk man, as a parent your main responsibility is raising your kids to not be antisocial weirdos. even if youre not fully to blame in these scenarios you automatically shoulder some of it.

Just get therapy, Ayahuasca, or heroin

well the parent is the foundation for where most children stand in their morals and decency, if you saw your parents get emotional and make things up to get their way… well that carries over but at some point you should want to become more than that and that’s all about your own will

Good post

While as a young adult, you’re responsible for your own actions and thus the “blame” will be yours, bad parenting can f*** someone up for life and always be a primary factor in the direction their life goes. But also, someone can come from a great parenting background and decide to do dumb s*** that f***s their life up.

Why does it have to be blame ?

can use responsibility if you want, that word may be better suited. or just responsible for their own actions, FULLY.

Well then there isn’t simply an age

It’s about the scope of the conversation based on who’s responsible for what along the growth of the child

17

Age 2 but yall ain’t ready for this conversation

I think always, but it extends back generations forever, so at the end of the day we should just blame fish who started walking out of water, therefor nobody is to blame

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