feels like everybody stumbled on that mexican cartel vid with the chainsaw back in like '06 you know the one

i seen em all fam

yeah

kinda but it made me who I am today

i wouldnt be mentally prepared to do the things im doing/gonna do if i didnt grow through some of those hardships

its not the reason for my trauma

but i do take meds for it

thankful for the way it all went

No

I don't know don't really remember tbh

I don’t think it particularly bad no. About the same as every other kid growing up in poverty.

Yes lol got diagnosed with ptsd for it

It was pretty smooth for the most part.

We extremely poor for years, until I was around 16-17, and we’re ironically blessed with a natural disaster that gave my family & everyone in the area work & a booming economy.

bad and difficult
immigrated parents,from diff countries,diff cultures,being mixed in a consersative white country that isnt big on multi culti
growin up on the more farmers side too

being on the spectrum

i was really a different, unique kid for all the people here

which explains why noone ever wanted to visit me or play with me
and why my parents had very low social interaction

throughout life, i cannot recall ever being praised or tagged as "me"
they would never acknowledge me as a person, only the stereotypes

have no real friends
nobody to ever support me, nor my family
even when we overachieve, we arent being recognized for it(white people get and take the cred)

teachers,trainers,workplace etc... everywhere there was bullying involved, making sure u knew, u werent like they were and would never be

ngl pretty scared about all this
cause it results into public emberassements, were people actively go out in group, to trash talk you in public, in front of audiences that dont know u, or want to know u
just to tame ur ego
and its all very normal, when it happens vs you

honestly i cant even remember most of my childhood, except that i always felt very ignored and neglected
i felt very different, being black adding my non diagnosed ass in the mix, and u get one hell of a funny cocktail
and that no matter what i did or who i was, i always got hated by everyone
i couldnt find a shadow of comfort or peace, there was no person there to push the bushes away and let the sun shine through

we were poor too, very poor
so buyin hapiness, or a vacation etc.. or even buying "status" wasnt in the cards for us

tbh even today, people dont know "me"
they know my name, for what i have achieved here in this region(which im proud af bout, cause thats more than 90% of the mfers that bullied me throughout my childhood), so my name is a local celeb status
but my face to them, is still strange

people only approach me in the french or english language, never the native

thats how i strange i am
thats how estranged ive grown
and thats how strange they see me

like up until now, my life was pretty toxic
very happy bout all the things ive done, but i couldve done alot more, were i never ignored

cause for example every kid hears or knows what theyre good at, u get stimulated
i never got this

from none, not even teachers
they would only tell me im good at this "only"(making it seem worthless) to then summarize my flaws...
like i was and still am excellent at sports, i was always the best, played in my national football team, always had great physique etc... yet none ever applauded it...
a black kid thats more articulate than any white kid u ever met, yet none would tell me how great i was at writing,speaking,performing etc..

as a human, i really had no idea who i was and what i stood for
cause everything i stood for, they would tell u they notice, but not in what way
usually they did like it(as theyd always copy me) but never admit this
and when they did it, theyd never admit they got it from me, and if they did "u shouldnt feel so proud monkey"...

i mean i basically stopped giving bday parties after my 10th bday cause only one kid showed up(same for my sisters) lol

like the only place i was doing stuff right, was in my head or when i went out of my region
cause the people didnt know me

Yeah now im being gaslit by the person responsible for it due to her s***ty decisions

Not at all, my childhood was goat

I mean compared to most people my age in my area i did tbh

Raised by a poor single mother who immigrated from Ethiopia with almost no other family here who had a bunch of trauma bc of what she went thru back home, relationship with my older brother has been wild too, govt was on our ass for nothing unnecessary audits that had her stressed tf out etc

When my dad was in my life it wasnt always the best either

Undiagnosed mental health issues

Def impacted me a lot, but what u gon do

Coulda been a lot worse, like way way worse

At the end of the day i look at my childhood fondly, knowing how things were and my mother still gave me beautiful memories that i will cherish forever and i'm very grateful for the way she raised me and all the values she instilled in me, and the bad things gave me a perspective that many others don't have

How did you end up on here then 🤨

yeah

It's kinda crayz how i grew up poor but deadass had no idea

I thought everybody had the pass our city gave us to get into the swimming pool for free

Love you bro

My dad (who had me selling weed to my schoolmates when I was 14) when he found out I was selling hard d**** by 19 what did you think would happen old man

My parents (who both whooped my ass a ton) when they found out I grew up be an adult that solved his problems with violence sometimes

Yup lol