Nigga's writing sounds AI-generated

Bro finished his second Bret Easton Ellis novel and couldn't wait to unload that bullshit

lmfao

makes sense when you know he's a d stan

HE WAS WRONGGGG

This should be grounds for firing tbh.

Like you can't write this and continue to have a job at Pitchfork

they can't he's their #1 reactionbait merchant. his writing has always been terrible they don't care

Fenix got the bag and ran with it lol

Gotta friend who is genuinely shocked and disappointed by this cause she "trusted his tastes"....

I'm more shocked and disappointed by her revealing that than anything

Like I thought it was understood that Alphonse just talks out of his ass and gives hot (dumb) takes...literally what he was hired to do.

Empire bag hit

Alphonse needs to get launched into space

Putting extra trust in any reviewer's taste in general is a questionable thing already but ALPHONSE PIERRE?

People are so out of touch for thinking this sounds like morrissey of all people lmfao. The smiths didn’t have beats like this at all either, I have no idea what people are on about

vocally it kind of sounds like morrissey but its nothing at all like a smiths song

Guys just such a ree turd

Just sums up everything wrong with this guy and a lot of pitchfork writers’ rap reviews in general. They will dig so deep to make some profound statement about absolute bullshit music lol.

I don’t even mind a lot of bros reviews but I have no respect for him after this lol

If you could tell this song was ai its time to hang it up your ears don’t work anymore

How did this obviously AI song manage to fool this dork lol

k team tap in

FAR TOO STRANGE

everybody’s credentials gotta get snatched man

He's a f***ing idiot

one of the worst reviewers of any artform ever