This is far beyond the scope of life sxn. That is some seriously heavy s*** that definitely requires professional help to work out all those emotions and pain you suffered. The best advice you’ll get here it to seek out therapy.

That said, the fact that you’ve allowed your mom to stay in your life and have accepted that she’s a changed person tells me that you’re capable of forgiving her on some level. Obviously, you’re not entitled to forgive her considering how f***ed up she was to you, but she seems remorseful at this point in life, so I’m sure she appreciates it greatly that you haven’t cut her off. I believe that almost all relationships can be mended if both parties are willing

get her a dollar store thank you card

find out your trauma responses and heal from them before it ruins other relationships in life you’re 19 so you got hella time

You’re gonna need some short-long term therapy to lay this all out verbally with no filter.

if nothing else, there’s nothing wrong with loving from a distance, and being there only when absolutely needed.

All ima say is be careful ever letting your guard down around her even if she’s different now

yo can you hook me up in messages? i’m dealing with something similar as well. would be much appreciated

Has she apologized to you first of all?

Here's the link

I would recommend you to highlight everything that relates to you, and when you finish the book, write it all down on a notebook or piece of paper, then you can craft a plan on how to start and do it

you out here doing god’s work

thanks bruv

you’re welcome, hopefully it helps as it helped me

go to therapy

you shouldn’t have to imo, as someone who doesn’t speak to any of my family except my siblings.

the only way to get over it seriously in my opinion is if she apologized for doing those things to you. you’re not supposed to forgive without an apology.

vaguely

good looks fam

Makes with yourself for yourself

Remember, its her first time being alive too.
Talk to her about it if you need to.
But if you have a good relationship with her now focus on continually improving that rather than trying to dwell on past grievances.