just got out of a toxic relationship. want to heal in a healthy way and become a better person. I have a lot of flaws that came up throughout the relationship but other than those personal things, what are ways that I can develop/grow as a person in a healthy way

move out either city state or even country

or do psychedelics but im not too sure about that

just moved into an apartment, have another 10 months here. i do have psilocybin chocolate but wanna wait a lil so i know i won’t be too negative

Just be aware of your flaws and try not to repeat them. Acknowledging you have these problems is the first step most people don't take

Work towards your passion, find God, listen to Simz new album

i never did psychedelics but i only heard good stuff about em (spiritually wise)

i went thru the same s*** u went thru tho op.
moving to a completely different place where u barely know anyone or nobody at all is the best way u can fix urself and become a better person because youre kind of born again.

Self reflection is the first part. Ive been trying to work on myself since my last break up. Its been over a year, mentally im a wreck because of other things, but ive had so much growth in my mentality reflecting.

Take an HONEST look at yourself. The things that make you uncomfortable to acknowledge. Its easy for us to point out the flaws in our partners and not in ourselves. Ask yourself why you exhibited certain behaviors and what it stems from. Make a list of things about yourself you dont like if you have to and how you can go about changing it for a better relationship. Love yourself which is easier said than done. Exercise. Focus on hobbies, your work, platonic friendships, nature, etc. All of these things will help you so much. Make sure you're actively working on the parts of yourself that you fall short with.

Eat bones also absorb sunlight drink enough fluid

b careful w psychedelics sounds like ur approaching it with caution which is good but don't go into it expecting some crazy revelation from the 5th dimension, it's all stuff that's in your head already, you won't learn anything new imo

Talk to people in a non aggressive way when you have a problem w them or sense they have one with you

good to have a long term goal then figure out shorter term goals, just think about them all the time and figure out whats in your way

if youre going to trip i would sooner rather than later, usually good during transitions

Be open to new ideas and experiences. Understand you don’t know everything and there’s always more to learn

This is hard because me and my ex always argued and she’d tell me I was in the wrong 100% of the time but I literally am not allowed to tel my side of the story or i’m becoming “defensive” and i never listen. I don’t know if i really don’t ever listen or if she just won’t let me tell my perspective on anything. this is just an example with one of my flaws. she makes me question myself and then in my head I don’t think i’m being irrational or abusive/toxic but she swears I am. Take this example and apply it to all my flaws I don’t know if they’re genuine or she won’t let me talk and she is just making me go crazy man

how do you really take a look at yourself without your ego coming into play consciously or subconsciously. i feel like my defense mechanism is just way too high to even do this and get any real insight into myself

Understand what you need to work on

do some blow and drink for a few nights straight by yourself

plus do some psychs

First stop freaking blaming yourself for whatever happened and let it go

Stop texting

Find God

Come back after you found God

u need to start meditating

Meditation! You can simply start by finding 10 minutes a day to sit in silence, observing your breathing and finding comfort/peace simply existing. You’ll also hopefully learn more about the potential harmful thoughts/habits that manifest when you’re bored

Get off KTT

Read

Stay away from social media

Work out

Find joy in real life activities rather than online activities

And of course, find another girl when you’re ready

Its extremely hard to do. My ex was a lying manipulative fetishizing piece of s***. And while majority of our break up was on her there was A LOT I could have done different. Could have done better. It ultimately wouldn't have saved us because it takes 2, but I still had to acknowledge where I went wrong. It felt impossible at time for the sole reason that my toxic behavior in the relationship wasnt remotely close to being as heinous as the s*** she was doing to me. But I was still very much problematic & its been a war with myself for the last year not trying to gaslight myself but also being unbiased in where i need to grow. Accountability is a tough thing. When your ego resists against it it makes things so much harder to move forward. A year later and it wasnt until maybe about the last 2 months I really started being honest with myself with a lot of things. I was able to come at a compromise that me acknowledging my faults doesnt change any other facts in the situation that I still ultimately treated her well, and she was ultimately a horrible person. You just have to keep looking at yourself n the mirror and have those uncomfortable conversations with yourself. after awhile it starts to set in. i wish i had a more definitive answer for this but i understand its hell and not easy to look at yourself

I used to but fell off the grind hard

yeah I was meditating a bit back in the day and have been trying to stay present