My folks are controlling people, they gaslight, demean, belittle, make false accusations, disrespectful, they try to control my brothers and I finances but we have nothing in their name so they can’t do much, etc. etc.

I’ve talked about how they treat me and my brothers a few times, but it’s the same “you don’t know what you’re talking about, that’s not true, name calling etc.” Older bros talked to them too but nothing gets through to them.

Honestly my mom and dads marriage is wild toxic, and they take their frustrations out on my brothers and I, so I don’t really expect things to ever be super good.

But I’d like a more tolerable relationship with them. Like they are my parents and having no relationship with them would be ass.

I tried to move to another state and they said they’d sell the house and buy a new one in the state I lived, so creating distance is a bit tricky 😅

So how do I go about this?

Damn, i thought my parents were bad. If you have the stomach for it cut them off, otherwise you just have to deal with it

Yeah you’re absolutely right

How dependent are you on them?

Introduce them to shrooms and DMT. All you need. Works every time.

Now? Not really at all. I make enough to support myself

Ima make make shroom tea and see what’s up

Yeah but microdoses . Don't make them see breathing walls and s***

Wow this is f***ed up

Hope you’re doing OK. In this situation I would cut them off. I cut off my mom and I feel a lot better, don’t have those triggers in my life anymore. Haven’t talked to her in a few years, don’t expect to hit her up any time soon, but maybe I will 10 years down the line. Point being it doesn’t have to be a forever thing. You need to live on your own terms and only allow things you are comfortable with and set boundariesn

Call their bluff. They aren't buying a new house in this market

Gotta take them to therapy at the slightest time they act up let them know your serious

before you read this btw just know this isn't really advice but just my personal thoughts.

take a step back & think about how they perceive their relationship with you & your siblings: do you think they love you more than they love Controlling you? and additionally, do you think that if you and your brothers all started resisting their control / manipulation and even cut them off like you were kinda alluding to, would they want you back in their lives on your terms or theirs? I would never just recklessly advise someone to do that off rip but it sounds like your parents probably see you as more extensions of themselves rather than individuals that can stand alone.
and as someone who can actually relate to a lot of what you are saying (only under a single parent) I know that as I get older I will only feel like I am wasting any potential I have for a good / great life if I just resign myself to being under her thumb for the rest of her days.

Punch them in the mouth, tf

I'd try a lot communication bout these issues but if they don't relent then I'd just cut them off. I'm not even that financially stable but I moved out and stopped talking to them after they tried forcing an arranged marriage and they've stopped trying to pull s*** like that on me since.

have you tried ignoring them?

I crushed all their hopes and dreams and achieved more than they could’ve ever anticipated regardless

Still got love for them but my parents never understood how to raise a person

They’re immigrants and hardworking so I get it. But a heavy hand must be met with a heavy heart

also try to list out the reasons (not to us but yourself) why you would regret / dislike having no relationship with them vs why you are not happy in your current relationship w/ your parents. not only the # of reasons matter but the quality and how much you value each of those things.

Some tips from my experiences

Controlling/narcissistic people hate when they dont get a reaction. Everytime they try and gas light you, stay firm in your belief. You can think of it like them holding on to you while you march forward. They will get tired of something they cant “crack”

Same with disrespect and such. So long as they 1) dont have access to important records 2) dont have access to funds and 3) arent the type to get physical with you, then they will get annoyed that its not working

Form a relationship with your brother. If you leave they will use him to get to you. This includes:

• demanding where you live/phone number
• badmouthing about you to him to guilt him
• using him as a punching bag/ spoiling him out of spite

I would say give them an ultimatum. I know its looked down upon but the way i see it, they have a severe lack of understanding for when it comes to action and consequence.

If you plan to move out, get everything ready to go. Then hit em with every grievance you have, and make it known that its exactly why youre leaving. And if they dont change then you will never see then again period.

how old are you

Get an apartment in the same city but never tell them where it is. They won't need to move and you'll still get more freedom/privacy.

Move out

i dont my parents always been mad chill

I browsed the /raisedbynarcissists subreddit once. I pray for y'all fr.

Yeah that’s me and my brothers pretty much