thread made me think of this song

Thank you ❤️

I’ve met a lot of new people recently and some of them seem ok. But I met a lot of them when I was drinking, and I made a fool out of myself quite a lot. So I’m not happy about that.

I had my first kiss a short while ago too but I don’t like the circumstances of how it happened or who it was with. So that kind of sucks.

I’m going to the doctor on Friday to get checked out because I’ve been having some health problems. At least I’ll be able to start getting better hopefully.

One of my friends let me down today. Maybe I’m overreacting, but that’s how I feel.

I want to quit my job but I also don’t want to at the same time. I’m afraid of the future and depressed about the past. I don’t know whether to stick or twist. Who do I want to be? Who am I really? I don’t feel like I’ll ever be good enough to be happy.

Just read through the thread and my situation is quite similar to yours OP

I know we kinda talked about it in relationship sxn chat thread but I didnt know it was so similar

Yeah it sucks lmao

How are you feeling now

I literally have 0 energy 24/7

started taking my mums co-codamal before i go to work and sometimes at night cos it makes me relax

My post is edited because i originally spent 30+ mins writing out everything including the whole situation but i got a lil emabrrased and removed it all

but part of it was the fact that I decided to take 2 weeks off work starting this Friday to get myself better. really need to do something to get myself back to normal cos i legit cant do anything the way i am right now

gonna do mediation, and get a notebook and write all my feelings down, and wanna go for some walks too

got 2 shifts this week and after that im gonna stop taking the co-codamal

Taking the two weeks off is a really good start. Meditation, journaling and walking are all really helpful too.

Have you thought about going to a doctor about your tiredness? Personally I think my mental health issues might be related to some kind of deficiency but I’m a vegan so I’m more susceptible to deficiencies anyway.

I don’t want to be preachy but try and make sure you get off the co-codamal when you plan to.

Also worth mentioning that I feel a lot better having spewed out all those paragraphs I did on the first page lol. I don’t really think about that particular incident much anymore. I sometimes worry about people I know finding my posts but it’s so incredibly unlikely that I don’t really care.

I've been a diet recently where I try to only eat one meal a day so im sure that has something to do with it, but its also just the fact that I have no motivation to do anything anymore

I cant even sit down and choose a movie to watch or anything, and i love movies (I also wanna watch some comfort movies in my 2 weeks off cos last time I had a bad depression episode that helped a lot - but ill have to force myself to watch the first few i guess)

The thing that triggered mine was about a girl i liked at work which is what my big post was about and im kinda with you that i dont think about it much anymore - unless im at work ofc (I still think about it a lot but not as much as i was)

So a few weeks ago I went to a concert and one of my friend’s girlfriend’s friends was with us. She asked me what my name was, I introduced myself and asked what her name was and then brushed her off. I don’t know why, but I guess she was really pretty and it made me anxious, and also she just didn’t seem like someone who would be interested in me. Also I wanted to watch the performance lmao. I continued kind of ignoring her and she ignored me, although I saw her point at me while talking to her friend and I felt weirded out. She eventually made out with one of my friends.

A few weeks later, we went out with her again, and her and I talked a little but nothing really happened. I actually liked one of her friends but she already had a boyfriend so it didn’t matter.

Then last weekend, we went to a party and I basically ignored her the whole night. My friends kept trying to get me to kiss her but it felt so corny so I ignored it. She made a move on ANOTHER one of my friends but he rejected it. Then at the end of the night they basically threw me at her and I made out with her.

She told me she had always wanted me but she thought I didn’t like her, and I said that I thought she didn’t like me. We made out twice more that night and she started telling me about how her ex didn’t care about her etc. and something along the lines of she needs someone who will care about her and I was like, ok well let’s see what happens between us. Then she started saying she felt sick which I basically took as a signal that she wanted me to leave because she didn’t really seem that sick. We shared a taxi with a few other people and that was that for the night.

I texted her the next day to ask how she was feeling but she brushed me off. She has sent me Snapchat streaks but that’s it.

Clearly I shouldn’t be wasting my time with this girl. I don’t even know why I typed all this out. Basically the only reason is that I’m annoyed by the Snapchat streaks thing lmao. I wish she would stop sending me them. But at the same time I don’t want to not reply because I want to keep the option open in case I see her again soon. Pretty annoying though.

You’re approaching it the right way. Take some time to freshen yourself up and try to resist that feeling of sliding back into deep depression.

Also if you notice my wall of text just above this post, it’s a pretty good way to show the benefit of writing stuff out in full. By the end of the post I felt dumb for having wrote it but at the same it feels cathartic to post it.

I fingered someone in the street last week and I feel disgusted by it. It was consensual but I can’t shake the shame of it. We were both drunk but I never should have done it. I just feel so disgusting. I feel like a scumbag. I can’t stop thinking, what if she woke up the morning after and regretted it as much as I do? It’s been a week and I still think about it constantly. Im so ashamed.

But I don’t know what I’m supposed to do. I feel like I’ll never get over the shame. It’s horrible. What am I meant to do?

I am constantly ruminating over what happened. I made the initial move at a bar. I thought we would kiss and that would be it. Then, she led me out of the bar. We made out in the street. She put my hand down her pants. She let tugging at my belt so I loosened it. We didn’t have s***though because I didn’t have an erection. We ended up walking the wrong direction to where she was staying but eventually we made it. I got a taxi home.

Once we realised we had gone the wrong way she told me she hated me, but we continued walking together anyway. Was she just lashing out from frustration, or did I do something wrong? I’m constantly a***ysing the night to try and figure it out. At the time I remember thinking it was a bit of a joke; she kissed me after saying she hated me. But I was drunk so I don’t know if I trust my perception. I feel like I need her to absolve me of guilt.

The more I think about it, I’m pretty sure when I asked why she hated me she said it was because I had led her the wrong way (which is frustrating because she was the one who led me the wrong way). So I feel like that’s the most likely reason. But I still can’t shake this feeling of shame.

@Grif how have u been

heard you.

I hope op is okay

Not great to be honest. I got the results of my blood tests yesterday and everything was good - so I don’t have an explanation for all the s*** that’s wrong with me. I’ve been referred to a mental health specialist.

I blacked out last night while drinking and spent a s*** ton of money. I feel like a f***ing disgrace.

I should have made a move on the girl I have a crush on but I didn’t. Now I don’t know what to do.

I’m falling behind with my university work and it’s a nightmare.

How are you doing?

I don’t know whether to ask this girl out. I know what the usual response is - “oh worst case is that she says no”. The thing is, we fork together (although I’m just about to quit my job) and i get on well with all the people I work with. I don’t want to ruin my relationship with them over this.

Tbh…. unless she’s giving u hints that she likes you, I wouldn’t go for it

Really? Why not?

Nevermind I ws gonna say cause you work at the same job and it would be awkward but since you are going to quit….

Go for it !!!!!

yeah that’s what I was thinking, thank you 🙏

How u been fam. How did it go

hahaha uhhh i didnt ask her out lol

I text her casually and she took 24 hours to respond... then she took another 24 hours to respond when I replied in like 20 mins. So I decided f*** it.

Still feel s***ty but I've given up on that girl. I'm just gonna focus on myself for a while and use Tinder casually.