Well Daniel this would suggest that you struggle to get into REM sleep more than anything, where the reasons for that suggests distractions that are disrupting this state of sleep. Firstly just make sure you're trying your best to get eight hours of sleep, while keeping distractions such as phone notifications out of the picture while you sleep. Now another perspective could be that you are distracted in a more internal sense, something that is disturbing you but unlike where in other cases it would manifest as a dream this is preventing you from having a healthy sleep overall. Have you got enough outlets to deal with stress? I'd assume you have long term commitments that even when resting/having fun you know in the back of your mind you'll have to return to soon enough. Of course this is the case for a lot of people, but I'm led to believe (if this the angle we're going for) that the issue moreso lies in a struggle to truly rest and enjoy the peace that comes with it. First reflect on possible distractions, and try and aim to let go of them when you do rest while also making sure you appreciate the fact that sleep is not only beneficial in a physical sense. For the mental reflection it offers can be just as great. But of course, please give more context if you desire, it's an interesting issue to try and truly understand beyond giving you the simple answer of "aim to sort your sleep out as best you can"

@LuJo never stop being you

Thank you Cookies, the same goes for you aswell 💜

amazing so proud of you love

In

i love you

Haha reminds me of the time i had a dream sbout a baby having a shootout with the police haha it was pretty crazy the baby won in case you were wondering haha

I exercise to combat stress, what else would you suggest The only time I ever feel well rested is when I'm on holiday. Today I got 5 hours. Always struggle to fall asleep and then wake up in the middle of the night because I need to piss and then I've got a hard time falling asleep again I'll be keeping my phone out of my bedroom from today on but I'm usually not on it anyway once I go to bed. Also working on my thesis for university has me quite stressed at times Back to you, Doc.

classic thread

They say you can only dream about things you’ve done in real life op

Lmaooo

KTT wild

Well this definitely seems to show a clear difficulty in properly resting, very understandable concerning the circumstances (I wish you luck with your thesis). Exercise is very important and should definitely be maintained for your health, but if this is your only way of dealing with stress you're just substituting the stress of life for physical strain. Ofc going to the gym and exercising in general can be be very cathartic and is a good way of dealing with stress, but the fact you've stated that you only feel well rested after a holiday really suggests to me that you're active in some way or another for most of your life (once again very understandable, and is common for many people). I'd recommend trying to take up something such as meditation for short periods of time, or even simply a hobby that allows you to mentally leave everything behind for a while. The purpose of this being, even if now it's just for five minutes, is to create an environment where you are without obligations, completely in the moment. To elaborate on this I'm sure you have plenty of hobbies, but to assume for a second it seems that even when enjoying them you're not allowing yourself to fully rest with this stress remaining in the back of your mind. Aka "I have work to do but I'll watch this film now, then back to work". So when you are enjoying such things, try your best to ensure that it is truly rejuvenating as opposed to a temporary reprieve. For even if it is merely temporary it should be as much a time of recovery as it is enjoyment. Maybe also to help with this address what in your life is needed/wanted to be done by you, while seeing if there is anything that doesnt really fit into these criteria that could possibly be substituted for something more relaxing (as I'm sure the issue here is not an issue of productivity, most likely the opposite in fact). On top of this I'd suggest trying to imagine and recapture the feeling of true relaxation you have while on holiday, and once you're in the right headspace allow yourself to destress whenever needed within the day. Hopefully this will help improve your sleep and relaxation overall, if you have anything else to add please do Danny

I also play the guitar But exercise seems more effective as stress relief for me. Tried meditating but never stuck too long to it, how do you recommend to meditate? Stress definitely stays in the back of my mind, rarely get fully immersed into something Breezed through my education but this thesis stuff is pretty intimidating, especially as a first generation student and a strained relationship with my parents I spotted the reccomend I don't think I can recapture that holiday feeling Not a worry on my mind on holiday and walking around all day tires the body and mind out pretty well, not a viable option at home of course I'm a procrastinator but when it's time I can usually jump into work mode and get s*** done (which has been the past few weeks with this thesis). But when I fail to get enough sleep, I can barely get anything done the next day, understandably Lack of being well-rested is definitely the root of my problems Easily agitated, no focus and not much patience when I'm low on sleep (as is logical) Thank you Doc looking forward to hearing from you again.

Finally someone took a risk and made classic material on here

I thought I'd see if you would notice that, there wasnt any doubt you would ofc. The hardest part of meditation for many is to get themselves into the right mindset, you have to look inside yourself and allow your mind to clear while remaining solely focused on your own headspace. Its useful for both internal reflection and dealing with stress, so I would definitely suggest experimenting whenever you're free. Playing the guitar is great, and you definitely stick with your exercise but alternate stress relief should hopefully be beneficial on top of this. If this is the first time you've truly been struggling in a while this is all the more to reflect on things, such as any issues that may be a constant (you mentioned your parents, and I wont pry but it's worth consideration). Stress is natural to some degree but unneeded stress should be a priority to sort out when you can, while focusing on ways to handle and reduce stress overall. The fact you've mentioned that lack of sleep effects your productivity shows that better dreams is more of a secondary benefit here, I hope that a change in how you look at things aswell as new techniques helps you to deal with it. Which should overall lead to a multitude of benefits, a good balance may even help with procrastination (but you seem on top of work which I respect, so I wont focus on that unless you think it's an issue. Improvement overall in any aspect is good however). I reckon that you should still attempt to find this "holiday state of mind" as it is worth a shot, where if found and properly understood it should then be able to be applied in a lesser sense when needed. Which should also help when it comes to meditation aswell, as that state of mind clearly represents freedom and peace for you, and revisiting seems to be key to sorting out these issues. I'm always willing to help if needed Danny, and I truly hope that this has helped you even if just slightly.

If you want more detailed meditation advice, you know where to find me, as I'm always happy to help in that regard. I'm keeping esoterica to a minimum here lol

There was a period a few months into HRT where I experienced reoccurring dreams about getting pregnant and having children. It felt devastating at the time, but I've accepted that reality now. I think it's natural for anyone to have that longing regardless of gender.

i read all yo s*** on the 2nd page too, but i wanna chime in w a few things, no stock image tho i'll leave that classic to dr lujo.

part of remembering dreams is the sheer habit of such -- you likely do dream when you sleep, but if you start off your day fixating on, presumably, the contents of what you're gonna do after waking up, you're very likely to lose your memory of any dream -- these memories are super fickle, and that's something i think anyone would agree on. even when we do remember them, they can lose clarity very quickly.

so one suggestion for that, which doesn't sound very helpful on the surface, is to simply spend some minutes immediately when you wake up to ruminate on what u were dreaming, if you can. this can be frustrating cus perhaps if you have the habit of not remembering dreams, you may end up spending some days trying this to no avail, but the idea is the essence of what ppl refer to as "dream journals", so basically that's all i'm suggesting

as for peeing in the nite, try to finish the majority of ur water intake like 2-3 hours before you sleep, while still drinking enough water per day. hopefully by then you'll have peed out the majority of what ur bladder's got rite before u sleep and it won't get provoked overnight as much. sadly, age exacerbates bladder dysfunction relative to how we could hold our pee for mf hours when we were kids, so a habit like this could really pay off if you master it young.

lastly, i ain't got the perfect roadmap to meditating but i try to begin such with 2 principles that kinda reflect what lujo talks about: 1) commit urself to thinking of nothing in particular during the session, and 2) think about whatever passes through your mind at ur discretion. it's less contradictory than it sounds

tbh i think u should look up some david lynch vids on meditation, not necessarily to get into his style (transcendental meditation, which i dunno a whole lot about), but instead to hear his thoughts on what he thinks thoughts/idea even are (he kinda perceives them to be things that float around in a sea of unconsciousness, popping up to consciousness every now n then for us to take hold of or nah -- he explains it much, much better) i think u may be receptive to his words if u like his shows

but ya, by "committing to nothing", i mean that i don't go into meditation w/ any preconceived idea of what i'll be thinking about during it. i know myself enough to know that there's a likelihood i will think about certain topics, espc if they've been on my mind during the day anyway, but i still try to at least begin w/ no commitment. i usually accomplish this by rly fixating on how i'm breathing n trying to control/slow it to be calm, n to try to feel every part of the body that's moving as the breath is going in/out -- it's possible to fixate on such so much that u rly do, at least for the moment, elude other thoughts.

once i do that for a while, i let thoughts roam, which is where 2) comes in. sometimes, after feeling the calm of breathing technique, my thoughts don't go towards the volatile things i sometimes predict they will. sometimes, they still do. in either case, i find they're easier to confront and think about because i'm usually calmer by then.

but like i said, these thots can be thot of at ur discretion, by which i mean, if you find that u wanna stop thinking about whatever it is that's passing thru, return to the strong fixation on ur breathing. i find it can act as a great return-to-baseline action.

now, that too will take a lot of practice. i think it's worth it tho. others will say meditation is def not worth it, so just wanted to throw additional info out to you

@LuJo u made this thread a very jovial and useful classic, a rare combination both in general and for ktt2

It means you were born in the wrong body