As much as I appreciate the replies, I’m gonna take a break from posting for a while. It cost me a lot of energy to write this post. Way more than I would’ve thought. But again, I appreciate y’all and I’m gonna keep liking your messages when I see em! Peace ✌🏽

keep pushing bro!

You should make a list of things ur greatful for. Always counter the negative with at least one more positive. Even when it seems like there isn’t any.

^ sorry if that seems like bad advice

ur already tougher than most for all youve gone through man im proud af and i dont even know you. all i can say is keep fighting everyday and add a positive outlook on your future, you’ll be able to accomplish everything. Wish we could help you more but i know theres great things in store for u and ur bro just believe it

Dam bro i just read this. Even tho we all dont know each other irl hpj thread all cares about u fam

:

Life can change dramatically in a matter of five years so hang in there. I don't even know who I was five years ago cause I was going through crazy s***, but if you persist and work hard you'll get past that and realize how it built your character in your better life. Like I grew up in the poorest hood in the poorest city and I never had food lol I hoard that s*** like crazy now and save a lot of money because of this. Not trying to brag just trynna prove that coming up is really possible from anything. Your life is the most valuable thing you got don't give it away for free.

AIRWAYS FORWARD LIL BRO.

at my job right now I'm scared to lose it because I'm teaching everyday i go in and I'm teaching hope to these kids. right now I'm teaching employability skills getting a job in the workforce.

and every single day I'm telling kids that you will make it. Always forward things happen. we move forward.

and just like i tell them everyday Imma tell you.

I talk about my life things that i deal with and i get it off my chest that they will make it, because if i don't i can't look at myself in the mirror.

I'm 24. just got this job and it pays well, at 23 jobless selling produce on the side of the road couldn't wait to go back to Dallas and get in contact with my plug and start selling / seeking d**** again. drinking half a bottle of cheap gin in one sitting(really a gulp)
abusing my medication. credit card debt higher than my student loans. crashing my credit for 300 dollars to survive and eat ramen.

So seriously keep going bro i believe.

Proud of OP

That is pretty nuts @op it is crazy that people you interact with online who seem fine are finding life very difficult in these horrid circumstances. I have had a very rough life too, suicidal, but my time on this earth has not been as bad as yours. That is absolutely horrid to the point I do not k ow what to say. It seems like the type of thing you see in a film. It is unreal how bad your circumstances are.

But I can help in some way: if you need money for groceries and feel it is humiliating to ask friends for money, I can help you. I can't give a whole lot, but even $30-40 in that situation can make a big difference.

I am sorry for these circumstances, fam. S***ty parents who do not care about their kids blow me away. I just cannot imagine having a child and not wanting to raise them and mould them into a great person. That is the most rewarding experience a person can have. To raise a great man or woman. But your Mum does have mental health issues. I don't know the full circumstances, but bipolar can be very bad. It might not all be her fault. Or maybe it is. I don't know.

Praying for you g

OP a warrior. U been through all of that s*** and still ain't give up. I wish the best for you.

OP I know u said u didnt want pity, but if u started a GoFundMe I'm willing to donate and I'm sure other users also are.

Jesus man, you've lived through too much trauma to bear. im proud u made it this far, u should definitely move out and hopefully save up enough so that your brother can live with you

Damn bro, i'm rooting for you

God dude, that was really A LOT you went through. You are one tough individual. I am sincerely sorry that you had to experience all these horrifying traumatic experiences throughout your life. Wish I knew the proper words to say that could bring you some sort of guidance or comfort right now. I do believe that you 10000000% deserve to be happy man, that is something I and everybody on this site can agree on.

idk what to say cus im f***ed up and s*** too and we all got s*** we gotta work out just know you always worth it and deserve happiness bro love you bro

OP certified real

that was heartbreaking to read but blessings are definitely coming your way @op you deserve to be happy especially after all the s*** you’ve been through. keep going, you got this bro.

Family I promise it gets better dawg

If I remember correctly your Gambia/Senegal fam right?

Yup, Gambia. Lived there for like a year after the incident and with my grandma.

Thank you fam. But your threads were all I needed. They genuinely made me laugh.

@Oblivion99

I’m on welfare since last month. So you guys don’t have to give me any money. I currently have enough to feed me and my family. Thank you guys for the offer though I really do appreciate it.

To everyone itt, I’m genuinely grateful for the replies. I’ve debated for months if I should make this thread because I usually lie to people when it comes to my circumstances. But it feels good finally telling the truth and getting my head clear. I appreciate your replies as they have motivated me to keep going. If I’ve already come this far, why give up now? This thread showed me that there’s still good people out here. I mean y’all don’t even know me and were still supportive. That alone is more than I could’ve asked for. Thank y’all. I will continue to keep pushing. For myself, my brother and for you guys who still believe in me ✊🏽

LETS GOOOOOO