I swear man i just want run head first into a butcher knife right now

So i travel a lot for my job and my dumbass decided to drink an energy on an empty stomach because i was running late to get to where i need to be this morning. I get the WOAT pain in my stomach bout hour 15 minutes into the drive. Literally like 10 seconds later i feel s*** bout to pour out my a****** while im driving. No gas station or exit close so i had pull over on the interstate hoping i can clench my but until i find one. Just made things worse so i had to make a decision.

Either s*** in pants or a gas station plastic bag. I get out on the interstate and try to crouch behind my car but there was no hiding it. I got it on the concrete, my hands, and in the bag. Someone threw a f***in coke bottle at me and im sure they had their phone out recordin. Most humiliating thing i've ever done bro

Im a grown man and I was f***ing in tears when i drove off. I called my boss and told him I had a blowout on my car and drove home. I wanted to just close my eyes and walk into traffic

Congrats bro you can only go up from here

Couldn't you have crouched in FRONT of your parked car (near hood) so nobody would be able to see you until they were already speeding past you?

why aint you s*** in your car

the wind from the cars must have felt goat on ya sack tho

Come on bro

i'm sorry but

into the bag obv i aint stepping out the car so i can get hit

Oh yeah I would have done the same actually

Strange decision making from OP. Privacy over everything..

p****.

F***
It happens op. I’m sorry

if therewas grass around n you aint dookie there u deserve that bottle

this why I wake up early in the morn, first thing make a cup of coffee, then take that morning s*** before I get ready for work.

Don't worry op this s*** definitely happen to someone else in a possibly even more embarrassing scenario but the ordeal is over now.

man up op

S*** in ur car or in a bag???

So what you missed do you know what all of that s*** in ur seats would've smelled like man? and so what someone threw a Coke at you you were s***ting on the side of the road bro
and why didn't you pull over with enough time to time ur s*** perfectly into the bag?? You know it was on its way out the door

C'mon man you know it goes. One bag handle tied around your p**** and the other hole you pull up behind ur back so the anus is perfectly aligned into the bag this is very elementary stuff

Lil poopy

Sorry op but this is the funniest s*** ive heard

I almost s*** my own pants at the coke bottle part

i’m dead

I’ve never dealt with this fortunately but I always imagined

• pull over
• open both passenger side doors
• back passenger door hides from prying eyes
• I sit slightly off the passenger side floor/corner area so you’re ass is hanging over the edge but you’re almost sitting kind of
• let it go

Also you should have got off an exit at least on to a side road or something

dam bro sorry to hear that

look at the bright side. nobody you know is gonna find out, you still got a job and a car, there’s people out there today starving in the freezing cold. It could be way worse

Damn sounds s***ty 💩

Tbh tho why do you care so much what them people think. I was expecting an actually depressing thread based off the title

I mean if it’s morning rush hour multiple people he knows very well could have seen him

That’s unfortunate

S*** happens