Literally the worst day of my life

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  • I swear man i just want run head first into a butcher knife right now

    So i travel a lot for my job and my dumbass decided to drink an energy on an empty stomach because i was running late to get to where i need to be this morning. I get the WOAT pain in my stomach bout hour 15 minutes into the drive. Literally like 10 seconds later i feel s*** bout to pour out my a****** while im driving. No gas station or exit close so i had pull over on the interstate hoping i can clench my but until i find one. Just made things worse so i had to make a decision.

    Either s*** in pants or a gas station plastic bag. I get out on the interstate and try to crouch behind my car but there was no hiding it. I got it on the concrete, my hands, and in the bag. Someone threw a f***in coke bottle at me and im sure they had their phone out recordin. Most humiliating thing i've ever done bro

    Im a grown man and I was f***ing in tears when i drove off. I called my boss and told him I had a blowout on my car and drove home. I wanted to just close my eyes and walk into traffic

  • Congrats bro you can only go up from here

  • Couldn't you have crouched in FRONT of your parked car (near hood) so nobody would be able to see you until they were already speeding past you?

  • why aint you s*** in your car

  • the wind from the cars must have felt goat on ya sack tho

  • Yohji

    why aint you s*** in your car

    Come on bro

  • i'm sorry but

  • HEV

    Come on bro

    into the bag obv i aint stepping out the car so i can get hit

  • Yohji

    into the bag obv i aint stepping out the car so i can get hit

    Oh yeah I would have done the same actually

    Strange decision making from OP. Privacy over everything..

  • Yohji

    into the bag obv i aint stepping out the car so i can get hit

    p****.

  • F***
    It happens op. I’m sorry

  • if therewas grass around n you aint dookie there u deserve that bottle

  • this why I wake up early in the morn, first thing make a cup of coffee, then take that morning s*** before I get ready for work.

    Don't worry op this s*** definitely happen to someone else in a possibly even more embarrassing scenario but the ordeal is over now.

  • man up op

    S*** in ur car or in a bag???

    So what you missed do you know what all of that s*** in ur seats would've smelled like man? and so what someone threw a Coke at you you were s***ting on the side of the road bro
    and why didn't you pull over with enough time to time ur s*** perfectly into the bag?? You know it was on its way out the door

    C'mon man you know it goes. One bag handle tied around your p**** and the other hole you pull up behind ur back so the anus is perfectly aligned into the bag this is very elementary stuff

  • Lil poopy

  • Sorry op but this is the funniest s*** ive heard

  • Bust A Nuticus
    · edited

    I swear man i just want run head first into a butcher knife right now

    So i travel a lot for my job and my dumbass decided to drink an energy on an empty stomach because i was running late to get to where i need to be this morning. I get the WOAT pain in my stomach bout hour 15 minutes into the drive. Literally like 10 seconds later i feel s*** bout to pour out my a****** while im driving. No gas station or exit close so i had pull over on the interstate hoping i can clench my but until i find one. Just made things worse so i had to make a decision.

    Either s*** in pants or a gas station plastic bag. I get out on the interstate and try to crouch behind my car but there was no hiding it. I got it on the concrete, my hands, and in the bag. Someone threw a f***in coke bottle at me and im sure they had their phone out recordin. Most humiliating thing i've ever done bro

    Im a grown man and I was f***ing in tears when i drove off. I called my boss and told him I had a blowout on my car and drove home. I wanted to just close my eyes and walk into traffic

    I almost s*** my own pants at the coke bottle part

  • look at dis

    man up op

    S*** in ur car or in a bag???

    So what you missed do you know what all of that s*** in ur seats would've smelled like man? and so what someone threw a Coke at you you were s***ting on the side of the road bro
    and why didn't you pull over with enough time to time ur s*** perfectly into the bag?? You know it was on its way out the door

    C'mon man you know it goes. One bag handle tied around your p**** and the other hole you pull up behind ur back so the anus is perfectly aligned into the bag this is very elementary stuff

    i’m dead

  • Bust A Nuticus
    · edited

    I swear man i just want run head first into a butcher knife right now

    So i travel a lot for my job and my dumbass decided to drink an energy on an empty stomach because i was running late to get to where i need to be this morning. I get the WOAT pain in my stomach bout hour 15 minutes into the drive. Literally like 10 seconds later i feel s*** bout to pour out my a****** while im driving. No gas station or exit close so i had pull over on the interstate hoping i can clench my but until i find one. Just made things worse so i had to make a decision.

    Either s*** in pants or a gas station plastic bag. I get out on the interstate and try to crouch behind my car but there was no hiding it. I got it on the concrete, my hands, and in the bag. Someone threw a f***in coke bottle at me and im sure they had their phone out recordin. Most humiliating thing i've ever done bro

    Im a grown man and I was f***ing in tears when i drove off. I called my boss and told him I had a blowout on my car and drove home. I wanted to just close my eyes and walk into traffic

    I’ve never dealt with this fortunately but I always imagined

    • pull over
    • open both passenger side doors
    • back passenger door hides from prying eyes
    • I sit slightly off the passenger side floor/corner area so you’re ass is hanging over the edge but you’re almost sitting kind of
    • let it go

    Also you should have got off an exit at least on to a side road or something

  • MLI

    Sorry op but this is the funniest s*** ive heard

  • dam bro sorry to hear that

    look at the bright side. nobody you know is gonna find out, you still got a job and a car, there’s people out there today starving in the freezing cold. It could be way worse

  • Damn sounds s***ty 💩

  • Tbh tho why do you care so much what them people think. I was expecting an actually depressing thread based off the title

  • Man on the Moon

    dam bro sorry to hear that

    look at the bright side. nobody you know is gonna find out, you still got a job and a car, there’s people out there today starving in the freezing cold. It could be way worse

    I mean if it’s morning rush hour multiple people he knows very well could have seen him

  • That’s unfortunate

    S*** happens

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