Jan 14Give her your location, something. Come on gang
Jan 14
(Referencing the lyrics not just the song title)
Jan 14
kenni nixonpretext: so I been living at home, helping take care of my mom, which has been a mental toll in the sense of shes disabled and I gotta pick up the slack but it's an honor to do so.
that being said though, i relapsed on cocaine and alcohol really bad last year and it kinda fractured our relationship, so we tried to set up me going to rehab, but it still hasn't opened up (i've been sober since then, over a month now) and well....I think while I understand her frustrations with my behavior, all I've been doing is staying at home/playing Tony Hawk because she doesn't even trust me to go to work.....yet b****es about how we're broke.
At this point, I'm doing all I can to get better, and she's just stagnant and always angry. That's just my mom, I love her, but I'm honestly tired of it. I'm thinking of just grabbing my laptop, my recording equipment, my camera, and just heading out. I do have a communist homeboy who would probably lemme crash, as well as one of my white homies who went through something similar.
That being said, I'm probably just mentally frustrated/going thru my own thing with addiction, idk. I don't f*** with anything hard besides coke, I don't even have the money to do that/nor have any incentive to break sobriety by drinking. What do y'all think?
Don’t do it
Have a plan
If you are going to leave, you want to step into a situation that will be worth the dedication and fortitude it takes to not relapse. Voluntarily going homeless will crush even the most hard headed of us. You need to map this thing out
Jan 14·editedCoke can really do a number on your thought process and self awareness drastically as I’m sure you’re aware. Also irritability levels skyrocket, and it gets worse when you’re detoxing. I would try to get some time away while detoxing if you do that, cause if it’s bad w ya mom now it’ll get a lot worse with those effects not only from breaking the habit, but if it continues and you start copping more and more.
Also, it will be impossible to handle finances with that habit if it continues. You could very well take your mother with you down that spiral. No joke, s*** will happen quick than you can blink. I allowed my car to get repoed and didn’t even realize how stupid I was until it happened. The s*** really changes your entire sense of self care and responsibility. Snatched.
This is a tough one homie I’m sorry you’re going thru this.
Are there any other facilities you can turn to for rehabilitation? My city has treatment centers everywhere but I’m in a major d*** city lol (Tucson)
What you can do now is AA. Search up where they do meetings in your area. They’re free, inviting, and offer different age group meetings and other options that you can try to find a good fit. That would get you out the crib atleast and you can talk with people and share, just like you did on here. Saying the s***, like in person to real people who been in your shoes really helps. I can guarantee that if you give it a shot, your mood and mindset will be a lot better for a couple days, which will ease tension w ya mom. That’s why they say you gotta keep going back.
PS:
Drinking goes hand in hand with that Caine too. So continuing to drink will only make you crave it more, especially when you see how faded s*** gets you without using that Caine. That’s my experience but it’s common all around.- Jan 14
Also, if you run w dipping out, please, PLEASE do a shelter first…
That street s*** no joke
