this is not an alt

6mo

Lol op something similar happened to me

So other day I decide to treat myself to a massage at this new place downtown Ever since I got my first massage this year I’ve been hooked can’t get enough I walk in and the receptionist greets me with a smile that’s a little too friendly She hands me a form that’s way more detailed than usual asking about all sorts of preferences

One section asks “Are you open to alternative techniques” Thinking they’re talking about hot stones or aromatherapy or getting jacked off I check yes Another question says “Do you consent to sensory enhancements” I figure why not go big or go home right

I hand back the form the receptionist raises an eyebrow but doesn’t say anything She leads me to the room which is dimly lit with candles and has this exotic aroma wafting around I’m thinking they’ve really gone all out with the ambiance

I get comfortable on the table and in walks the massage therapist a woman dressed in flowing silk garments that look like something out of a historical drama She starts with a standard massage and I’m starting to relax when suddenly she whispers “Are you ready for the journey to begin”

A little confused I mumble “Uh sure” Next thing I know she’s playing soft chimes around my head and lightly brushing my skin with feathers It’s ticklish but not unpleasant Then she starts reciting poetry in what sounds like French I’m lying there thinking “This is the most artsy massage I’ve ever had”

Then she asks “Would you like to experience the ultimate relaxation” Not wanting to be rude I say “Why not” She proceeds to place what feels like warm stones on my back but when I peek I realize they’re actually pieces of chocolate wrapped in warm towels

Before I can process that she says “Open your mouth” At this point I’m too intrigued to object She feeds me a chocolate-covered strawberry and says “Let the flavors enhance your serenity” I’m trying not to laugh because the whole situation is so surreal

After the session ends I head back to the front desk The receptionist gives me that overly friendly smile again and says “So how was the Full Sensory Experience”

I reply “Well it was definitely unique”

She says “Wonderful That’ll be $250”

“Wait $250 I thought the standard massage was $80”

She points to the form and says “You opted in for all the enhancements alternative techniques sensory experiences gourmet treats It’s our deluxe package”

I look at the form and realize I probably should’ve read those options a bit more carefully So yeah lesson learned always read the fine print or you might end up paying extra to get fed strawberries by candlelight

FOREVA

6mo

this got me bricked for no reason smh