Never felt suicidal until these past 2 weeks.
Like, Ian gon do it but wow I’m literally in shock how I ruin the good things in my life…

been nonstop stressing for the past week

Being around people who have normalized committing microaggressions but stigmatize people who react to it are terrible humans

Like someone who pushes your button just to get you to react just so they can paint you as reactionary or sensitive

anxiety way up these last couple days. appetite been absent too. stopped smoking weed again so thats prolly why.

My system is so low
Can’t find any energy
My body feels so heavy

I’m going to start reading more…

u get molested a couple times by family members when you‘re a kid and boom entire life is ruined

f***ed up how that works

i would kill that man with my bare hands if i ever saw him

good place to start. i got nothing else of value to say tho, just that acceptance is a b****, one of the hardest things to do. the real b**** is, for me anyway, I gotta do it again and again and again. just when I think i finally had some mental/spiritual breakthrough its only a few months later im struggling with the same s*** all over again

read the new testament

lowkey it's full of great nuggets on how 2 be a good person.

my brother and i were yappin last night at 2am about books n current society n the manosphere (lol), then we pulled out the bible and went to random pages. there were bangers everywhere lmao. rlly insightful stuff

but also read a lot of fiction

as for the other stuff. understand u are human and everyone else is human too. we are not perfect. everyone has flaws. take everyday as a gift n opportunity to be 1% better than the previous day. everyone's a work in progress, perhaps never ending. we all wake up and try our best. we walk past people with universes of their own. they too have experienced grief, heartbreak, depression, happiness, excitement, confusion, self-hatred, doubt, and any other universal feeling. but they are there, and you are there, sharing the same roads that lead to your own destination. be kind to urself and be kind to others. we're all goin thru this...might as well bring joy and kindness to those around us. time is kind. time is patient. time heals. take your time, no rush. love yourself :)

I think I'm finally getting closer to diagnosing my chronic pain that's been going on for like three years and destroying my mental health.

@plants
@eversince

Appreciate yall! Damage is already done but life’s turning around fast in a bittersweet twist…

i really hope you get a diagnosis and find a way to reduce it or even eliminate it, chronic pain is so exhausting it just wears you down so relentlessly

sometimes im concerned how welcome/at home I feel in a thread like this even when everything in my life is going well

Man expected a baby has increased my mental health struggles by 1000%

Thank god I had a good base with therapy or I would not be functional

But I still do struggle. This year has been the hardest year in awhile

Another day gone…

i dont wrecked about it like i used to, just to clarify.

i feel much more capable and understanding of certain things, know theres more to learn and go through, and some things I probably never will.

I'm doing so much better than I was a few years ago, on top of say a decade ago. For anyone doubting it can get better just keep hope but also focus on the good you can control and cultivate. keep good people around you, have some goals, keep humor and levity in your life and try to resolve some of the bigger obstacles in your path and you will probably be aight! it just might take a while

Need to start making friends. For too long I’ve focused on my career, making money, buying new things. But none of those have truly made me happy.

I had a pretty big friend group outta college. But I slowly started distancing myself from them as many were interested in partying, d**** (which ironically I was very into last year).

Also one of my best friends stole money from me, which put me into this crazy state of panic for the past 6months.

The motivation is just not there. I’m at a point in my life where I honestly do not care about myself.

Basically the only way forward is to brute force certain things (finding friends, gf, true connections).

Anyways, just letting y’all know that you should go see a therapist. I think without it I wouldn’t be here (or at least a much worse version of my current self).

Need to get back on meds