i for sure have ptsd

:(

Joined a couple of sport leagues. It's something I really need, as I lack social interaction, or any level of intimacy. Had a bad day and was clsoe to ending it honestly. Went to coogee beach and was thinking of falling off a cliff. The walk therw was depressing as I just saw couples together and friends laughing. I don't remember laughing with a group of friends for so long. I get so damn frustrated and once that's over, I'm really down. I shake my head and chuckle at the situation I'm in. Years of this s*** has taken its toll on me. I fight with myself as I want my loneliness to end, although I have a tiny bit of hope that keeps me going, knowing that I want to experience certain things in life.

Come through the Australia thread man

Always down to chat

🚴🌌🌉

Rot your brain with fashion content

Watch some classic movies

Gonna ask my psychiatrist for an adderall prescription . I just can not focus on school work/studying. Been having this problem my entire life. I can not retain any information or even have the motivation to focus

I just spent 3 days studying for this exam. And I’m pretty sure I just failed it

what sports bro thats fire i wanna do that

ik i cant help but ur funny and smart bro i hope you're around for a long time

Wish i had friends to do stuff with

need to stop posting stuff like that and get my s*** together

life is 2 short, but i will live 4 u

I literally have no idea how I’m gonna escape this pit

I’m so tired of feeling like my life has yet to begin, why can’t i skip to the part where I’m happy

I’m insecure all the time, I need to find a way to escape my mind. I feel like I’m being held hostage

Feeling better now

I'm not made for this world

lets skip the sad part i know this like some movie s***

Playing basketball 2 nights a week and doing flag gridiron also..

Thanks

real

Just want to get away from everything

you and me both

I’ve been going to this coffee shop across the street from my apartment for awhile. Over time being a everyday regular the coworkers have warmed up to me and greet me really nicely, genuinely asking how I am, and remembering things I say when they strike up conversation.

I really, really hate it. Every time I leave the shop I’m in a spiral of spiteful thoughts wishing I hadn’t been seen or that they’d just give my coffee.

I don’t like them smiling at me, I don’t like them being friendly, I don’t like them being warm at all. I don’t want to be remotely cared about at all and just want my coffee.

I know very well this is f***ed up and symptomatic of my self hate but don’t want to let it go because I feel like I deserve to hate myself.

My only resolve is to order pick ups at this place and zip in and out really fast or just not go altogether.

I both resent the fact I’m like this but the self hate makes me not want to change because I truly think I deserve this.

Wish I was invisible and only can be seen when necessary at work, family events, etc.