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  • Nov 23, 2021
    loading

    back to my self hating self. f*** this s***

    i need to chill out asap so f***ing toxic rn

  • Nov 23, 2021
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    1 reply

    1 more month and it would be a year since I self harmed

    Trying to figure out the right tattoo to go over my cut marks on my arm to make me feel less insecure about it j

    I hate the fact that I disfigured myself permanently & it will constantly be brought up to whoever sees my body but it’s something I’m gonna have to live with.

    Hopefully that part of me is gone for good

  • Nov 24, 2021
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    1 reply

    Shout to my therapist. Always very compassionate and understanding.

    Tells me to message when I just want to get my feelings out

    My Monday sessions are always improving

  • Nov 24, 2021
    Chip Skylark

    1 more month and it would be a year since I self harmed

    Trying to figure out the right tattoo to go over my cut marks on my arm to make me feel less insecure about it j

    I hate the fact that I disfigured myself permanently & it will constantly be brought up to whoever sees my body but it’s something I’m gonna have to live with.

    Hopefully that part of me is gone for good

    I’m glad you’re here Chip ❤️

    Use the scar as a reminder to keep battling and striving

  • Nov 24, 2021
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    1 reply
    math fifty

    if i dont end up killing myself tonight ill be astounded

    How are you feeling.

    The holidays are a tough time. Let’s get through this

  • Nov 25, 2021
    Squilliam

    How are you feeling.

    The holidays are a tough time. Let’s get through this

    Im doing better bro Thanks for the kind words. Enjoy ur holiday

  • kainie 🌌
    Nov 26, 2021

    i’m feeling really disconnected with everything. like i feel like i’m just roaming without a purpose. just taking up space.

  • kainie 🌌
    Nov 26, 2021

    i was going crazy last night

  • Nov 26, 2021
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    1 reply

    it kinda hilarious at this point that whenever i open up to people, they tell me s*** will get better

    like ive been suicidal since i was 7 and it’s never changed.

    i’ve already come to terms with my mental health issues being my personality but spending my second straight thanksgiving alone is really helping it set in that this is never going away.

  • Nov 27, 2021

    Fuh, just got hit by a wave of hopelessness

  • Nov 27, 2021
    SERENITY

    it kinda hilarious at this point that whenever i open up to people, they tell me s*** will get better

    like ive been suicidal since i was 7 and it’s never changed.

    i’ve already come to terms with my mental health issues being my personality but spending my second straight thanksgiving alone is really helping it set in that this is never going away.

    ''it'' never gets better

    we do

  • Nov 27, 2021
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    2 replies

    been strugging with suicidal ideation

  • Nov 27, 2021
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    1 reply
    Psychodrama

    been strugging with suicidal ideation

    What’s got you thinking like that fam?

  • Nov 27, 2021
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    1 reply
    dotM

    What’s got you thinking like that fam?

    hopelessness

    it's like even though im doing good in most aspects of life the future is frightening.....like, who will give a f*** about me 2-3 years from now when I hit my 30s? I'm an ex-drug addict, alcoholic, street dude, dropout etc so all of these things got me feeling like s*** can go back to that any moment even though I've been -mostly- clean and off the streets for a good 1-2 years now

    and it's not the past so much cause I know ''well get over it''....it's more that now that im on the other side I fear more than anything going BACK to what I've been running from....cause lets be honest, the moment I hit a financial difficulty or loss of a loved one chances are I'm back at the streets

    and I HATE that with all of my heart....I've spent half of my life being institutionalized or just wild af and at the moment, I can 100% tell you that life aint it....but even now all these intrusive thoughts of ''you're going to lose your job'' or ''face it you're better off spending money on pills and escorts'' or ''nobody loves you they just act nice dumbass'' are f***ing me up fam

    these thoughts persist even when I lie on bed tryna get some sleep and I've f***ing had it....I dunno, for now I'll be patient and hope my mind enters normalcy soon

  • Nov 27, 2021

    Been thinking about it… for the last five years my mental health has been absolutely s*** for about 70% of the time. I’m very lucky for the life I’ve been granted but I think that caused me to hate myself for not doing more with it ultimately leading to me completely shutting down a lot of the time. I just always feel like I should be doing better whether it be with school, social life, girls, etc.

    It’s a blessing in some ways because I’m never complacent with how I’m doing but it’s way more of a curse bc it causes me to absolutely hate the person I am. Like I don’t even know who I am, just who I should be.

  • Nov 27, 2021
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    1 reply

    Like man the only thing I really know about myself for sure is that I’m not happy with myself. I guess I’m a nice guy, I’m personable in a lot of settings, I’m a good friend—and even so a lot of the time I become the complete opposite of all of those things.

  • Nov 27, 2021
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    1 reply
    Psychodrama

    hopelessness

    it's like even though im doing good in most aspects of life the future is frightening.....like, who will give a f*** about me 2-3 years from now when I hit my 30s? I'm an ex-drug addict, alcoholic, street dude, dropout etc so all of these things got me feeling like s*** can go back to that any moment even though I've been -mostly- clean and off the streets for a good 1-2 years now

    and it's not the past so much cause I know ''well get over it''....it's more that now that im on the other side I fear more than anything going BACK to what I've been running from....cause lets be honest, the moment I hit a financial difficulty or loss of a loved one chances are I'm back at the streets

    and I HATE that with all of my heart....I've spent half of my life being institutionalized or just wild af and at the moment, I can 100% tell you that life aint it....but even now all these intrusive thoughts of ''you're going to lose your job'' or ''face it you're better off spending money on pills and escorts'' or ''nobody loves you they just act nice dumbass'' are f***ing me up fam

    these thoughts persist even when I lie on bed tryna get some sleep and I've f***ing had it....I dunno, for now I'll be patient and hope my mind enters normalcy soon

    sorry to hear that youre having those thoughts. i sometimes look back on my life and hate myself for some of the decisions i made, but i always tell myself you cant live like that.

    try to stay strong fam, understand that life for everyone is up and down. When you slip up just remind yourself, that those bad days happen to us all and they don't determine our future. Keep your head up fam

  • Nov 27, 2021
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    1 reply
    barko milicic

    Like man the only thing I really know about myself for sure is that I’m not happy with myself. I guess I’m a nice guy, I’m personable in a lot of settings, I’m a good friend—and even so a lot of the time I become the complete opposite of all of those things.

    dont take how people treat you as an attack on you. not all people have good intentions, and thats not your fault. keep being a good person and your life will be a happier life!

  • Nov 27, 2021

    Anyone itt have experience with psychiatrist. Whats it like

  • Nov 27, 2021
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    1 reply
    dotM

    dont take how people treat you as an attack on you. not all people have good intentions, and thats not your fault. keep being a good person and your life will be a happier life!

    I try so hard man but I think I’m just cynical towards my own existence at this point. Outside of my family, anyone I’ve ever loved has ended up s***ting on me. Of course I have to take responsibility for my own actions in those situations, but I feel like emotionally I’m always getting the short end of the stick and at this point why even try

  • Nov 27, 2021
    barko milicic

    I try so hard man but I think I’m just cynical towards my own existence at this point. Outside of my family, anyone I’ve ever loved has ended up s***ting on me. Of course I have to take responsibility for my own actions in those situations, but I feel like emotionally I’m always getting the short end of the stick and at this point why even try

    Don’t take them people so personally fam. If they s***ted on you that’s between them and them. Keep being who you wanna be, and be a nice person.

    The friends that make it through our early - mid 20’s are our only real friends imo, so maybe they weren’t long term friends anyway.

    Life’s long, you’ll meet new people some bad and some good, just be you fam and let them come and go if they choose to.

  • Nov 27, 2021
    dotM

    sorry to hear that youre having those thoughts. i sometimes look back on my life and hate myself for some of the decisions i made, but i always tell myself you cant live like that.

    try to stay strong fam, understand that life for everyone is up and down. When you slip up just remind yourself, that those bad days happen to us all and they don't determine our future. Keep your head up fam

    thank you so much

  • Nov 27, 2021
    loading

    back to my self hating self. f*** this s***

    i need to chill out asap so f***ing toxic rn

    i do this and the opposite at the same time

  • Nov 27, 2021

    so burnt out jfc

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