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  • Jan 21, 2022

    Yeah yeah yeah.

    "Happy"

  • Jan 21, 2022

    I mean in a grander content of fullfillment, not necessarily just hedonic gratification, but rather building a life not rooted around security.

    I don't know why I'm this way.

    But the idea of building a life around security just seems very purposeless and when I'm doing it I become depressed.

    Imma just keep dreaming and working hard, nd if I hit rock bottom doing this, then I suppose it was worth it.

    Idk, sorry future self.

  • Jan 21, 2022

    I guess to me it's goes.

    Life is going to f*** you up anyways, things are going to fall apart anyways, security is just a concept in the head.

    Building equity in a concept, for what? Generational success and wealth? Im not having kids, if I do it'll be because I succeed.

    Yeah sure financial situation.

    I am fortunate in many ways, I'm qualified enough to get a position to pay all my expenses and save. Plus I have some financial equity.

    A relationship? Hahhahahhahhahaahhsgajgaha
    Yeah f*** all that noise. Imma keep building the one with myself thnkx.

    No right or no wrong, the dissolve of meaning, not feeling connected to anyone or anything, depression, purposeless existence.

    Well then I'll find my own. So...

    I'm aware I don't relate to you!
    My goals and my version of success is not yours.
    I'm comfortable being my own individual.
    Terrifying to be alone, but we are all alone in our heads anyways.

    Someday I'll find someone who relates to me, but I'm not going to spend time to try to change things about me that I believe are positive characteristics to feel a connection, because then I'd be disconnected with myself.

    That's complete dissociation.

  • Jan 21, 2022
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    1 reply

    I don’t even feel sad or angry anymore

    I’ve just been floating lately, idk if it’s a sign of what’s to come or I genuinely don’t have anything to be upset about anymore

  • Jan 22, 2022

    Not feeling good

  • Jan 22, 2022

    I often think about where I can buy a gun and a bullet

  • Jan 22, 2022

    I feel like s*** I hate this. Go to sleep sad wake up sad this s*** is wack. Nothing helps someone kill me plz

  • Jan 22, 2022
    Jowe Buddew

    Safe is boring I don't know.

    I'm not happy when I'm making safe decisions

    Only get excited when I'm f***ing my life up

  • Jan 22, 2022
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    2 replies

    Yeah I think I either easily forget or just bury it deep enough to not even come up. Like at work everyone says I come off pretty happy go lucky and chill when that’s not the case AT ALL. Took someone to point out in just concealing my feelings in general

  • Jan 22, 2022

    Health anxiety is a f***ing b**** & a half.

  • Jan 22, 2022
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    1 reply

    It doesn’t help when old friends don’t want to talk to you anymore

  • Jan 22, 2022

    yeah this is taking over my physical health too. feel like a corpse loob

  • Jan 23, 2022
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    1 reply
    internet buddy

    It doesn’t help when old friends don’t want to talk to you anymore

    you'll realize it's for the best in the end

    people grow and change

  • Jan 23, 2022
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    1 reply
    Twist Your Cap

    you'll realize it's for the best in the end

    people grow and change

    Finding new friends as an adult is impossible

  • internet buddy

    Finding new friends as an adult is impossible

    yeah it isn't easy but they're better quality when you do find them because most of them will come from mutual interests in whatever hobby or type of work you do

    in school what most people have in common is the fact they just go to the same school

  • Jan 23, 2022
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    1 reply

    Feeling insecure

  • Jan 23, 2022
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    1 reply
    Jowe Buddew

    Feeling insecure

    Same. I feel like s*** when no one talks to me.

  • Jan 23, 2022
    internet buddy

    Same. I feel like s*** when no one talks to me.

    Idk if it's even that, I just felt like I had something going for me for a little, then I get in my head about it, it's just so hard to "know" with certain things so you just have to operate with blind faith and not think about it too much.

    Also you are always free to @ me. I'm around

  • Jan 23, 2022
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    1 reply

    Also f*** negativity in general and being subjected to pessimistic people. Idk if I'm just changing or what's up with me but I also just don't like dark humor, or things highly explicit.

    Fry's my brain, makes the world seem awful place, and I think people may just keep themselves there.

    Im going to just avoid it with blind faith that there is "better" out there. Tired of this s***, tired, tired, tired.

    I want to believe

  • Jan 23, 2022

    Pg-13 round these parts u heard

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