i'm so scrambled lately

Nervous about going back to work after a week of PTO tomorrow. Got some lingering projects I need to make progress on.

As much as I would like to end my life right now, I feel an overwhelming debt I owe to my parents. I’m not even close to paying them back and it hurts me inside to watch them work themselves to death, man.

Out of mood stabilizer

Hope I don’t have to restart the tapering

I been wyling out I don't even give a f*** anymore.

i need help

f*** this s***

mr failure reporting live from rock bottom

I spent so many years with my passion, soul, everything real just all distorted, scattered and repressed. I’m still recovering from this. It feels awkward, inhuman.

No matter how far i move on from the darker time in my life, I’ll never get over the missed time and everything that stemmed from that.

It's a s*** feeling to have those thoughts. Sorry for asking, but what are you going through?
I would never think I would have those thoughts pop up, but if I were to do it, my mum would be the one to find me, which I do not want to happen. She's going through s*** also, and to have that happen to one of her children, there's no fixing that. Once those thoughts do pop up, I always think what the f*** am I thinking, I cant do something like that at my age, I'm not old or young., but i got so much s*** I want to do and experience in life, I just can't end it. Plus I don't think I would even try to do it.

Sorry for rambling on and mostly speaking about my stuff. Would be nice if you won the lotto or something like that, where your family can finally relax. Take care

Luckily for weed which has help me a lot. I only smoke during the night when I'm alone.. The only thing that I can look forward to and makes me happy. My anxieties pretty much go and I got peace and quiet. Like Cudi said.. Weed never left me lonely and had my back.

"i hope u had a great day" yea ok lmaoo starts playing Punk Monk

i feel shriveled up

First few months of pandemic was fine but 9 months in and constant isolation is finally getting to me. Miss hanging out with my friends at bars

i still can't believe you disappeared like that. im glad i prepared myself over the years for it to happen, i remember the complete breakdown i had when you first vanished 3 years ago and i thought you were dead. Whenever anything happened with you id never be able to sleep. i let very few people that close to me, im glad to have known someone who i could talk to without having to hide or cover up things about my life, someone i could trust who eventually became a great friend and one of the closest people i know. you made me smile and laugh even at my worse. love you so much, i hope you're alright wherever you are.

I've been cold turkey on my antidepressants and anxiety meds (300mg wellbutrin and either 30 or 60mg buspar, can't remember) for about 7 weeks and the psychiatrist refuses to listen when I tell him I'm bipolar type II (therapist has been suggesting this for literally years) but does anyone have experience with bipolar specific meds, if they're even out there? I know there's lithium and s*** like that

play this

dawg i woke up sad as f*** today

im waiting for corona answer and laying in my bed sad as s***. Im mad bored man smh

Gimme urs. I will add u

@op hi man, i ain't been in the chat recently due to the holidays, are you still interested in creating a discord.