Also - my advice would be to keep the number of people you broadcast these thoughts to to a minimum. It's pointless to tell anyone who isn't really going to help you. They'll judge or maybe try to dig at your mental state. Or maybe they'll call the cops and then they'll try to put you in a mental facility if they think you're a danger to yourself or others, but admittedly I don't know how that works.
Close friends and family is the way to go