Sometimes I really feel like I’m destined to a life of mediocrity and loneliness

I can't stop f***ing hurting myself

yea im killin myself soon

i hate waking up at 3 pm

haven’t been this down in a long time

i been feeling like this too long can't do this anymore

I dont plan on quitting benzos anymore im gonna kill myself soon anyway

im so f***ing sad

Don't do it. If you need to talk, we're here for you.

My issues are nothing compared to some of you guys'. Sometimes I'm not sure how to help, but please understand that I'm one of the MANY who will be here for you if you need someone to talk to. Please don't ever feel like you're a lost cause.

I wanted to go back and thank you for your kind words. The person I texted actually responded days later, so I was worried over nothing.

I know I overthink due to things that happened in the past. People really underestimate just how much childhood/adolescent trauma affects their adulthood.

Still, I understand most people won't be sympathetic or empathetic about this. I just have to better myself and keep going.

My dad called me exactly that the last time I was admitted to a psych ward. A lost cause. Lol. Oh well idk i don't like my future

feel like my depressive episodes last for like a couple days then I go straight back to being manic lol

not complaining

f***

Ever since I quit latuda my appetite been basically nothing

F***in love it eating a waste of time anyway and im finally losing the weight I wanted to

i hate living alone

Relied on friends and media for my stimulus last few years

studying was always a chore during this time

Now grad school is almost done, none of my social group is left, and I find myself reading and being introspective like I was a kid. I enjoy teaching myself, my own dialogue is more important, and I feel happy to live in my own head more often.

This seems more comfortable and familiar to me, maybe I was always still this type of person. Noise of other people and keeping busy socially might have sapped energy better spent elsewhere. Fooled myself over the years thinking I was a social person when I just good at pretending maybe.

I made 2 of my closest friends friends again and now they are playing the game I showed to them together and talking in my dc without inviting me and my other 2 closest friends playing another game I love and play all the time without inviting me and they both also ignored my messages I dont really like bothering ppl like that but it kinda hurts being ignored like this

This is how I feel. I was deprived of much of a social life in high school, so when college came around, I went all out when I could. Spent more time with people I thought were true friends, but it turned out they don't really care about me all that much. Even got into a relationship wherein the girl didn't really care about me all that much and neither did her toxic friends. Learned it the hard way. You need to love yourself first. Otherwise, you might end up in toxic relationships and friendships in hopes of feeling accepted.

Once you get out of a toxic relationship or friendship, you'll find your true worth and just how happy you can be while alone. I've discovered myself more the past year or so, when I decided to free myself of that burden.

It hurts knowing how much time I spent on these things that don't matter, but I know I'm better now.

I'm lost