Cats

6y

failed at everything

hated by everyone

human garbage

just all around trash

lmao why am I still living I should've died a while ago

Cats

6y

this is not what im listening to rn

wild

6y

have you been diagnosed with a mental illness?

Cats

6y

I have bipolar disorder with psychotic stuff and social anxiety

wild

6y

i have bipolar-type schizoaffective disorder, but i'm symptom-free due to medication. i was initially diagnosed with schizophrenia back in 2006 when i couldn't sleep for a week and then had auditory hallucinations which was the only time it happened. technically, i should just have bipolar disorder because i experience mania first instead of mania and psychosis simultaneously, but the doctors go by what they observe and have no knowledge of what happened before hospitalization. i only displayed psychotic symptoms because i don't like the environment of the psychiatric hospital.

my life became much better ever since i started practicing zen buddhism, meditation, and simple living back in 2012. i was hospitalized a few times since 2007 because i couldn't sleep due to stopping medication and my parents begging for me to go to the hospital. i think i can control myself much better now without medication, but i don't want to take a chance.

are you taking medication?

wild

6y

i have bipolar-type schizoaffective disorder, but i'm symptom-free due to medication. i was initially diagnosed with schizophrenia back in 2006 when i couldn't sleep for a week and then had auditory hallucinations which was the only time it happened. technically, i should just have bipolar disorder because i experience mania first instead of mania and psychosis simultaneously, but the doctors go by what they observe and have no knowledge of what happened before hospitalization. i only displayed psychotic symptoms because i don't like the environment of the psychiatric hospital.

my life became much better ever since i started practicing zen buddhism, meditation, and simple living back in 2012. i was hospitalized a few times since 2007 because i couldn't sleep due to stopping medication and my parents begging for me to go to the hospital. i think i can control myself much better now without medication, but i don't want to take a chance.

are you taking medication?

Cats

6y

I was taking medication for a year and it didn't really help me. I was still suicidal and the symptoms just really hindered me. It's been about a month and a half without medication. I do take anti anxiety meds and mood stabilizers though. Honestly I enjoy things more, but obviously i'm still suicidal. Don't know what the solution is

And it's interesting you bring up the hospitalization story. I had my worst auditory hallucinations there. I never told anyone because I was scared for being kept longer, but honestly maybe I should have. Idk. I really hate mental hospitals. I've been twice so far

wild

6y

i've been hospitalized about 10 times, most of them when i was a teenager. i was able to get better because my mental illness was treated really early. it's worse when you get diagnosed older. depakote and zyprexa is the combination of medication that i'm taking and it works. keep searching for the right medication. there are so many of them. eventually, you'll find it. talk to your psychiatrist and therapist.

Cats

6y

I started my treatment about midway through 18. I wish I started earlier, maybe things would be different. I had symptoms all the way since 14

wild

6y

i was first diagnosed with depression when i was 12 years old, actually. i was taking zoloft before i stopped. i also had anxiety which i never told anyone about, but i had it under control. my depression and anxiety faded away as i got older.

did you stop taking medication because of the side effects?

Cats

6y

I did stop taking medication cause of the side effects. I also found it to be not useful since I still felt suicidal and even attempted a few times while on the medication.

My anxiety meds work great though, I wanna keep those

wild

6y

what medications were you taking? i think if you asked for depakote and zyprexa, they would work.

Cats

6y

I started on risperdal
then vraylar
then latuda(this lasted for about 6-7 months, nothing)
then vraylar again

none helped and the side effects were bad

wild

6y

i used to take risperdal and it didn't help me. i wanted to get on latuda because i heard it was weight-neutral, but it's for depressive-type schizoaffective disorder and not bipolar-type schizoaffective disorder, so it wouldn't work. the side effects i experience with zyprexa is weight gain and oversleeping, but i'm just skinny fat since i don't exercise.